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  1. #1
    Senior Member Abbey's Avatar
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    Default NF's and Particularity

    I feel like NF's are particular about little things. Or it could just be everyone in the world.

    For example: At restaurants I highly prefer sitting with my back to the wall.

    I don't know, maybe this is completely unrelated to MBTI types.

  2. #2
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I dunno. I am particular about quite a few things and less so about others. FWIW, I've seen questions about seating preferences in personality quizzes and as far as I can tell, folks that prefer to be on the outer edges of rooms are more likely to be introverted. I think maybe it makes it easier to observe unobserved and to escape if the situation becomes overwhelming. That's all I've got atm.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  3. #3
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I have a few things I'm particular about that have to do with personal space, but when it comes to the habits of living with someone I love, I have a bizarrely huge range of flexibility. That might mostly be for us inferior Se folks.

    Examples of the particulars: I don't like to have people sitting behind me when I eat, especially if I can hear their conversation or chewing, so I almost always ask for a booth. Also, now that I have lived in a remote, country location, the thought of having close neighbors gives me anxiety. One time when setting up for a performance, a group of people were just watching me work, and I felt like I was going to have a melt-down because they were just staring at me when I was moving around, lifting things, etc. I also remember a billboard that disturbed me enough that I always took a different exit.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
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  4. #4
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    Just a pure observation:

    xNFJs tend to be really particular from what I've seen, but I question whether that has to do with the judging function since I haven't seen the behavior from xNFPs, but I have seen it from other types that possess J like ESFJs, however, this could also be due to functional preferences.

    I was on a consulting project with two INFJs. From what I noticed:

    • I am interviewing INFJ for his opinions on problems. He walked into the room and there were several chairs. He placed his jacket on one chair and proceeded to sit down across from me. Right as I am asking him a question, he gets up and fixes his jacket so it would lay flat on the chair.

    • We are mid-meeting with a company and the INFJ lead asks for a break so she can get up and fix the blinds (once of the slats was crooked).

    • Various other little traits like where objects were to be placed, etc. I once decided to mess with the lead INFJ. She would also place her keys to one side of her so when she got up, I would switch her keys to the other side.

    If NFs do in fact have a predilection for particularity, I would say its because most are in tune with their environment, though in a different way than sensors are. I enjoyed the INFJ lead because she would pick up on subtleties of the people around her: it was impossible to hide mood changes, tonal changes, or body language from her. In the same way, I think she looked to her environment to be in its proper place for her to be comfortable.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    FWIW, I've seen questions about seating preferences in personality quizzes and as far as I can tell, folks that prefer to be on the outer edges of rooms are more likely to be introverted. I think maybe it makes it easier to observe unobserved and to escape if the situation becomes overwhelming.
    I once sat for a lecture from an architect. When he took the reigns from a firm, he decided to hire a psychologist. She stated that if you watch a room fill up with people, the edges tend to fill up first. People like their backs to the wall, because they like to see out in front of them. She attributed this to evolutionary biology: that people want things to be oriented in their line of sight and they feel vulnerable when they are surrounded on all sides. She also said that edges typically allow for escape to the side.

    So, when they designed classrooms, they liked to build case rooms that were elevated (as seen here) so that both parties - the professor and students - feel that they have their back to something. The room is also oriented to more conversation since the seating is curved. When designing offices, they took advantage of partitions so that people felt they had their own space to work at and the design of the dividers could be adjusted for how open the company wanted the layout to be. Same when designing restaurants: they used a series of partitions to break up the room and make every seat feel booth like, but they adjusted the heights of partitions (some were floor to ceiling, some weren't) to adjust the openness of the space. They even added space dividers that included a horizontal glass fountain or plants around the bar, so people sitting in the stools still felt that there was a wall behind them (she also claimed this was because greenery and water put people at ease again due to evolution: when humans see greenery, they associate that with food and water).

    It's interesting that it is broken down further to introversion or extraversion. I never thought about the connection before.
    "Never think one can turn over any old falsehood without a terrible squirming of the horrid little population that dwells under it." - Someone Brilliant

  5. #5
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Eh, I'm a pretty strong extravert and I hate being in the middle of everything. I feel uncomfortable with my back towards the door or towards the middle of the room, and I prefer booths to tables. I don't like having people really close seated next to me, either. I think it's a human thing to like to feel protected and to have some personal space. I do like being around the central activity and near enough to observe the hustle-bustle, but I don't prefer to be in the middle of it, just on the outskirts. Could be an enneagram and instinct variant related thing, too.

    As for NF particularities, I think we have some weird latent S oddities, especially ENFPs and INFJs. ENFPs can get really sentimental and extremely picky about holidays, gatherings, and tradition. The INFJ Se weirdness was described well above.

  6. #6
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    As mentioned, it seems inferior S stuff - NFJs are trying to control the environment & NFPx get weirdly sentimental.

    Both can get paranoid, probably born out of poor awareness of tangible details & feeling like they sneak up on you, so that's likely why we may place ourselves in spots where we can observe & not get overwhelmed or feel scrutinized (projection of inferior T is where feeling scrutinized too much can come in; prob some inferior S there too).

    I also don't like people to move my stuff, partly cuz it makes me feel like "I'm going crazy". This is born of paranoia over not remembering details & concrete stuff around me, so I suddenly get controlling about random things. Generally, this is a stress issue as I'm mostly laid back about such silly stuff.

    My INFJ ex was amused when I'd open up a cupboard & toss something in haphazardly & slam the door shut before anything can fall out. He was meticulous. I snooped into his underwear drawer once & it was all folded neatly (& they're those boxer-brief things - so small). WHO FOLDS THEIR UNDERWEAR? Unless you have a massive behind & they're like tents...WHY?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #7
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Mmm, I read once that, generally speaking, women like to sit with their backs to the front entrance, whereas men like to sit facing the entrance.
    This was given an evolutionary interpretation, that women prefer to focus on their kin, whereas men prefer to be aware of possible danger and "defend" their kin.
    I dont know how you can correlate that to MBTI though. I'm a woman and ENFP and I like to sit towards the other person and giving my back to the rest of the crowd, but I think that's relate to me being Sx-dom.

    PS. @OrangeAppled I fold my underwear. I'm also extremely organised. But i think that's because I grew up with extremely J parents (if no one is looking, i will do that "shove+close so it doesnt' fall" trick you just mentioned).

    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    I feel like NF's are particular about little things. Or it could just be everyone in the world.

    For example: At restaurants I highly prefer sitting with my back to the wall.

    I don't know, maybe this is completely unrelated to MBTI types.

  8. #8
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I fold my underwear. I also try to keep my underwear on one side of the drawer and socks on the other side. I did not mess with it when I was doing laundry for six people, but now that I'm only doing my own I do stuff like that. Having my things put away nicely makes me feel self-indulgent somehow. I even have my closet kind of organized and make my bed a couple of times a week.

    I throw my socks on the floor when I take them off, though. That way they get aired out and I can re-wear them.

    In some cases, I can be like the Princess and the Pea and in other cases, I'm weirdly indifferent. I would say I'm the type to live in a shack and drive a Cadillac, except that I am fine with my 13 year old Ford Focus as long as the heat and air work. But I'll be wearing a nice down coat, $16 wool socks (I need to be comfortable), and my MacBook will be under the seat. It coule have more to do with being HSP and having poor people spending habits than temperament.

    FWIW, if it's not a big deal, I'd rather have my back to the wall and be near an exit when there are a lot of people around. Crowds make me antsy. My husband doesn't like crowds either but I haven't noticed that he has a seating preference and he's an INTP.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #9
    Senior Member Abbey's Avatar
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    I wasn't saying seating preference exclusively, but rather irretrievably picky about certain things. This whole post doesn't really make sense though, I guess I just notice particularities in NFs because the two people closest to me and myself are all NFs, so I obviously know our strong preferences the most. I really need to start thinking through things a bit more haha

    As for this tangent on seating preferences, I think it's interesting how many people actually have an opinion on it. It makes sense though considering that sitting and talking in a crowded place is a pretty vulnerable or distracting thing depending on how you look at it, so naturally people are going to want to pick somewhere that makes them feel most comfortable in a rather uncomfortable setting.

    Thank you all for replying

  10. #10
    Senior Member _eric_'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I snooped into his underwear drawer once & it was all folded neatly (& they're those boxer-brief things - so small). WHO FOLDS THEIR UNDERWEAR? Unless you have a massive behind & they're like tents...WHY?
    I do, because it's neater, organized, looks better, and takes up less space and doesn't get mixed in with any other nearby clothes (like trying to get out a pair and it ends up moving something next to it if it isn't folded). I also do it the military way, my dad taught me it when I really little. And of course I had plenty of practice doing that when I was in the Air Force lol. (It's pretty ridiculous, you even have to align the tops perfectly when they're folded, and iron them so they fold more evenly and flatly. )

    I am a big perfectionist, but I don't freak out if something isn't absolutely perfect. I just get as close as I can to perfection without compromising time and efficiency. I'm pretty quick at getting things to 99% or so though, especially if I really put in the effort and push myself. If I'm putting something away, I do it the right way (how I want it) the first time instead of just tossing it. I figure I'm only going to be saving myself a few seconds anyways, so I'd rather get it taken care of right away and not have to worry about it later so things don't pile up and so I don't have to keep track of what still needs to be done.

    I'm extremely good at quickly noticing even very minor differences in the environment, or things out of place/misaligned. Many times I'll catch things when I'm not even actively trying to. It can be quite useful, but on the other hand, in larger and more fluid environments, it contributes to a faster sensory overload for me. My brain tries to take in and focus on EVERYTHING going on around me at once, not just with objects and such but also with conversations. It's very draining being around enough people to be able to hear several simultaneous conversations, but not so many people that it just turns into white noise; if that's the case then it's not so bad and I can actually focus my mind instead of having it being pulled in all directions at once attempting to operate on multiple threads.
    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    Mmm, I read once that, generally speaking, women like to sit with their backs to the front entrance
    I always do that. Never really thought about it, though.
    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I fold my underwear. I also try to keep my underwear on one side of the drawer and socks on the other side. I did not mess with it when I was doing laundry for six people, but now that I'm only doing my own I do stuff like that. Having my things put away nicely makes me feel self-indulgent somehow. I even have my closet kind of organized and make my bed a couple of times a week.
    I keep them on each side too.
    I throw my socks on the floor when I take them off, though. That way they get aired out and I can re-wear them.
    I never take off my socks unless I'm changing them or taking a shower. I don't like the feeling of not wearing them if I'm walking around.
    In some cases, I can be like the Princess and the Pea and in other cases, I'm weirdly indifferent. I would say I'm the type to live in a shack and drive a Cadillac, except that I am fine with my 13 year old Ford Focus as long as the heat and air work. But I'll be wearing a nice down coat, $16 wool socks (I need to be comfortable), and my MacBook will be under the seat. It coule have more to do with being HSP and having poor people spending habits than temperament.

    FWIW, if it's not a big deal, I'd rather have my back to the wall and be near an exit when there are a lot of people around. Crowds make me antsy. My husband doesn't like crowds either but I haven't noticed that he has a seating preference and he's an INTP.
    Same here on all accounts haha. I'm also very much an HSP, I have all but two or three traits that are listed on that HSP site.

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