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  1. #1
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    Question Insight to the ENFP? No idea here :/

    I am dating one and now am confused! He's warm, sweet and interesting. Calls and texts etc, very communicative. Our first date was 8 hrs hours long, the 2nd one 5!
    Here's what recently transpired:
    Feb 23: He caalls to say hi- loved them email i sent about his school project a few days prior, he told his team about me girl he's seeing and is off to go camping. Said he'll call when he's back
    March 2: Returns from his trip. He texts to say he was thinking of me, back in town, hope I was enjoying the sun. I called a few hrs later, wanted to say hi versus text. My VM was a brief message, welcome back, i'm good, talk to you soon, hope you had fun.
    March 8: I reach out via text after NO response from my VM. I say hi, hope you are well, want to do something Sunday, I'm busy next week (work travel).

    NO response. Is his phone in the toliet? I don't get it. Especially when we both talked about being honest.

  2. #2
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    No offense, but your abbreviations make it a little hard to read and understand all of this - in any case, it's really hard to know, and not necessarily correlated with type at all - all I can think is that ENFPs suck about getting really deeply absorbed in things sometimes. We can be forgetful when that happens, even when it comes to people important to us. You both sound pretty out-and-about busy, and it's a very new relationship, so I wouldn't be too concerned.

    Have you tried to track him down in person? My suggestion would be to do that. I don't think there's any reason to assume dishonesty yet.

  3. #3
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    I edited: hope that clarifies

  4. #4
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    He might not want to seem too eager. Insecure ENFPs can take "playing hard to get" to a whole new level.


    I literally ran and hid to avoid my SO asking me out because I felt the situation (too many middlemen) was too awkward.

    Thankfully my plan failed
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  5. #5
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    I have no idea what to tell you because that's way too little information, but I know that in the beginning of relationships I feel very "free" and I kinda play push and pull (in the sense that I seduce and make you feel special, but then I may also play hard to get and even see/sleep with other people - i'm not saying that's the case with him).....for me personally this dynamics sort of closes in with time, and after a few weeks/months i become increasingly monogamous and "loyal". I think I initially know that I like someone, but then I wonder if I really am making the correct decision, so I take some time to "settle down". Maybe it could be a practical example of initial Ne and then Fi at play!? And I also wouldn't know if that's the case of your date, but at least this is my case.

  6. #6
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    Pink Graffiti it sounds spot on! I am dating other people and he may be as well and that seems to fit in with what I know about it.

    He did cal, Fri night and left a long message. Apparently he had the flu, enjoyed my text, can't hang out Sunday ( detailing scheduling challenges with school/finals) but would like to see me soon, and looks forward to catching up.

    I will call him on Sunday evening.. he's not he only one who is busy.

    Thank you all!

  7. #7
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlinthePNW View Post
    Pink Graffiti it sounds spot on! I am dating other people and he may be as well and that seems to fit in with what I know about it.

    He did cal, Fri night and left a long message. Apparently he had the flu, enjoyed my text, can't hang out Sunday ( detailing scheduling challenges with school/finals) but would like to see me soon, and looks forward to catching up.

    I will call him on Sunday evening.. he's not he only one who is busy.

    Thank you all!
    Yay, wonderful!

    I think you (or both of you) dating other people has a lot to do with it. If you guys were exclusive, this long without contact would be more surprising.

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti
    I kinda play push and pull [...] for me personally this dynamics sort of closes in with time [...] I think I initially know that I like someone, but then I wonder if I really am making the correct decision, so I take some time to "settle down".
    Me too, exactly, really well described. It's kind of a game of Ne diving in and Fi pulling back and making sure everything's all right, Ne diving in and Fi pulling back and making sure everything's all right.

    For me, the more loyal I grow, the smaller and quicker the dive/remove swings become. With my boyfriend of almost 2 years now, the turnover time is usually pretty speedy, even to the point where I can overrule my own turnover and bounce Fi to his interest instead of using it to analyze him - which is saying a lot for me as an sx 6 who feels a compulsion to "test" him when I feel insecure about our bond.

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