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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnflamedHeartofSand View Post
    I'm a coward, with low self esteem, misogynistic ideas, and a bucket-load of resentment and shame. I have basically lost hope of ever keeping a girlfriend. Unfortunately, I still cannot escape the desire for one. I remember an old girl friend telling me how easy it is to approach a woman and enter into a relationship with one....trying to set me aright, to help me overcome my fear of approaching women. It never worked, I walk through the world, observing women as if they are behind a solid block of glass from which it is possible for me to look at them, but impossible to approach.

    I try to accept the fear, and try to tell myself to focus my life on other things. Impossible, all I can think about is how I will die alone, because I'll never be able to overcome this fear of intimacy and commitment.

    I guess I haven't met the right one, but even if I did, I guarantee I'd be too fearful to approach her.
    You say you have misogynsitic ideas, but paradoxically, you think like a woman...i.e you place central importance on finding security with a partner. Person-oriented rather than goal oriented.

    I would say that you should stop worrying about dying alone, because we all die alone. Instead, concentrate on living.

    I think most women honestly could not take a man who is thinking about long-term security from the first time he approaches them...leave that for a woman to worry about.

    Otherwise, maybe you could find a very goal-oriented, dominant woman, so you could reproduce traditional relationship dynamics, but in an inverted way.

    Just be aware, they are rare and may often not be the ones you are initially sexually attracted to.

    Your paradox is you want a conventionally attractive woman but you don't have a conventional male attitude which they would be attracted to.

    So as I see it, the above are your two opions, GOOD LUCK!

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by EnflamedHeartofSand View Post
    I'm a coward, with low self esteem, misogynistic ideas, and a bucket-load of resentment and shame. I have basically lost hope of ever keeping a girlfriend. Unfortunately, I still cannot escape the desire for one. I remember an old girl friend telling me how easy it is to approach a woman and enter into a relationship with one....trying to set me aright, to help me overcome my fear of approaching women. It never worked, I walk through the world, observing women as if they are behind a solid block of glass from which it is possible for me to look at them, but impossible to approach.

    I try to accept the fear, and try to tell myself to focus my life on other things. Impossible, all I can think about is how I will die alone, because I'll never be able to overcome this fear of intimacy and commitment.

    I guess I haven't met the right one, but even if I did, I guarantee I'd be too fearful to approach her.
    Seek out a hottie with low self-esteem (Note: Not hard to find) and target her insecurities.
    It usually keeps them around for a while.

    She probably won't be as "intelligent" as you require, [insult removed].
    Last edited by CuriousFeeling; 03-07-2013 at 02:52 PM. Reason: Mod edit: insult removed.

  3. #13
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    Il Morto, I agree with you, thanks.

    Duck, thanks for giving the 'quick fix' option. Part of me wanted to hear this, although I don't think I could target her insecurities, my self esteem is probably lower than hers.

  4. #14
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    Build yours by wrecking hers.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    Build yours by wrecking hers.
    I'm saddened by the extent to which people actually do this.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I'm saddened by the extent to which people actually do this.
    Yep. This is NOT the way to have a healthy relationship. Dating: you're doing it wrong.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I'm saddened by the extent to which people actually do this.
    I am too! Nevertheless, it works.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    I am too! Nevertheless, it works.
    I dont think it does if you've a conscience.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I dont think it does if you've a conscience.
    It doesn't work in the long-term. It may work in the short term to engage in some kind of power struggle, but you're screwing not only that other person but yourself over in the long-term.

    You don't admire and respect a person as much when they don't have self-esteem. In a real loving relationship you'd both have self-esteem, not try to make the other person have none.

    Eventually you may even grow to hate the person after you've abused them down under your control, like "next!"

    Really pathetic, truly.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    It doesn't work in the long-term. It may work in the short term to engage in some kind of power struggle, but you're screwing not only that other person but yourself over in the long-term.

    You don't admire and respect a person as much when they don't have self-esteem. In a real loving relationship you'd both have self-esteem, not try to make the other person have none.

    Eventually you may even grow to hate the person after you've abused them down under your control, like "next!"

    Really pathetic, truly.
    sado-masochistic control issues standing in for love.

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