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  1. #1
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Default I'm just saying...

    ...we don't all slam doors. I haven't slammed a door in over ten years, not on purpose anyway. There is the one that sticks at work and sometimes I have to slam it just to get it to close, but there's no emotion involved. It's just a bad door

  2. #2
    Junior Member WheresMyBunnies's Avatar
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    a 5w4 that dont slam doors, Solitary Walker is so wrong....

  3. #3
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    sounds like you do doorslam, but dont want to admit it
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  4. #4
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Is door slamming always a sudden thing? Or can it be like you have a certain amount of positive regard for someone and when they use it up (by being disrespectful) it's gone?

  5. #5
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  6. #6
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    I've only done the doorslam once, when I couldn't deal with any more stress- my physical and mental health were at stake. No matter how many different ways I tried to express that exhaustion to the friend, it would just get overanalyzed/twisted, and I'd still be pulled into some pointless, incredibly taxing conflict, when I'd already long been running on empty. I'm not a superhero, and my patience/energy are finite, and these days, spread quite thin.

    It felt horribly unnatural to resort to something that drastic, & I've since tried to balance things out with that individual, & improve communication, but also maintain healthy boundaries. Some friendships require more work than others in that regard. Sometimes they require breaks. Sometimes, introverts fall off the planet a bit when they're not in the best health, & are trying to recharge. It's important to clarify that to friends, just as it's important those friends listen and try to understand, even if they don't relate. And sometimes, people just need to realize they truly cannot bridge certain gaps in perception. It doesn't have to be hateful, or cutting the person out, entirely. You can still have some basic sense of human empathy and caring for the person, but also see that- whatever the reasons- things are not healthy, & changes must be made in order for both parties to have some peace of mind in the longterm.

    If those changes can't be made without the situation becoming abusive on some level, then, unfortunately, as @sprinkles said, you have to protect yourself. I've experienced both, & if forced to choose between the two unpleasant possibilities- I'd rather someone physically beat me, than deal with psychological garbage constantly, & have to brace myself for it everytime I interact with a particular person. Ideally it'd be wonderful if it never came to either one of those, but ey, sometimes the things we build break down.

    Using the actual door analogy- I'd say I only slammed & bolted the door when someone repeatedly kept trying to pry it open with a crowbar. My actions may not have been the most comfortable, pleasant, or tactful- which was why I'd gone back & tried to open communication with the person, very carefully. No matter how it turns out, at least there was effort made to communicate, resolve things. Even if that solution entails not keeping up ties, you've given the person some closure. If you're friends, I believe you owe them that effort, at the very least, even when that bond has disintegrated.

    What I'm saying is, in short- unless the situation has become abusive, I don't believe doorslamming is necessary.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  7. #7
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    Have you ever stabbed someone in the back with a knife as they were walking through said door and then slammed the door after them as they fall to the floor screaming? That's more how I would imagine an INFJ doorslam (with the Fe in full swing of course.)

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    ...we don't all slam doors. I haven't slammed a door in over ten years, not on purpose anyway. There is the one that sticks at work and sometimes I have to slam it just to get it to close, but there's no emotion involved. It's just a bad door

  9. #9
    Glycerine
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    Which types don't doorslam? I would think that most people would doorslam if the situation called for it (unless there is an unhealthy codependency going on).

  10. #10
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Which types don't doorslam? I would think that most people would doorslam if the situation called for it (unless there is an unhealthy codependency going on).
    I think you answered your own question. Codependent people have few boundaries; therefore, it's difficult for those individuals to determine when a situation has become damaging. They have trouble enforcing self-care, identifying & communicating their own needs, or managing/distancing from sources of stress, either temporarily or permanently, based on the given situation. Their judgement is too clouded by the dependency to make crucial decisions like that.

    I wouldn't say it has much to do with type, just that perhaps some may appear more apt to resort to it than others.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

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