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  1. #41
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Good points, Mane. Irresponsible, selfish people come in every personality type and anyone who walks out on a child or a pregnant girl or abandons their co-workers in mid-project is being a jerk. I'm not condoning those irresponsible and selfish actions. Nor did I mean to make light of them. I'm just saying that all hope is not lost because some people are cowardly and run away from conflict rather than trying to resolve it and anyone INFJ or otherwise who does this is immature and selfish.

    I didn't mean to trivialize anyone's pain, nor did I mean it as a blanket statement. I've had doors slammed on me, too. I've been mistreated, treated unfairly, walked out on, cussed out, hit, had the proverbial stab in the back, etc. Sure, I've got scars. We all do. It's part of living in this world, a temporal, non-permanent, shallow, fickle world, where people sometimes do stupid things, mean things, spiteful things, where people make selfish decisions, rash decisions and say horrid things out of raw emotion, hurt, fear, anger, but I'm just saying that it's not always that way. We can dwell on the heartache and let it ruin our good times or we can focus on what we still have and let it overshadow the bad ones. I don't mean to sound heartless, but rather to be a reminder that negative emotions like regret, fear, doubt, bitterness, anger, hatred and unforgivness will destroy us if we let them. There is an emotional mind and a wisdom mind, a way of despair and a way of peace, but we have to choose which way we will walk. I, too, have been hurt, had people abandon me, hurt me and walk out on me...but we have to forgive, let it go and move on. The person who did us wrong is not hurt by our unforgiveness, our wallowing in the aftermath of the slammed door, we are. And so long as we hold onto it, we continue to let that person control our lives. I don't mean we have to forget what happened, but we have to let go of the hold it has on us and that is what I mean by finding another door. We can't stand at the closed door and cry for the rest of our lives.

    I do hope my words come across with the spirit I intend for them to. I only meant to help and to be genuine. Online, sometimes, I can't tell who's kidding and who's sincere, what's real and what's illusion. It's hard to tell what a person really means by a single post. There's no body language to read here, so really we're all just stabbing in the dark, attempting to communicate. We also have cultural differences, value differences, so I think it's way more than cognitive functions that come into play even on a forum about cognitive functions...[oops, I really did get off track didn't I? Oh, well. Maybe someone will want to chase that rabbit. Who knows?] At any rate, I think the way it came across to you and the way I meant are not one and the same.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ene View Post
    The person who did us wrong is not hurt by our unforgiveness, our wallowing in the aftermath of the slammed door, we are. And so long as we hold onto it, we continue to let that person control our lives.
    agreed

  3. #43
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Love the poster. Thanks.
    A student said to his master: "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war." - unknown/Chinese

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...=61024&page=14

  4. #44
    Member IllusoryReverie's Avatar
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    Wow. Forget what I just wrote. I completely misinterpreted the original post.

    Anyway, I've never intentionally shut anyone out of my life. I don't mean to, but if I feel disgusted by them or misunderstood in a severe way then I naturally do tend to withdraw myself from them and keep at a distance. Or avoid them altogether while I'm dealing with how I feel about what just happened.
    “The first progressive step by a mind overwhelmed by the strangeness of things is to realize that this feeling of strangeness is shared with all men and that human reality, in its entirety, suffers from the distance which separates it from the rest of the universe." -Albert Camus

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