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[NF] How is Ni+Fe like to you?

Nicki

Retired
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
How does it help you in your life? What problems does it cause?
 

Lily Bart

Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Messages
136
MBTI Type
INFP
When it works, it's great -- not to brag, but I'm great to be around! Smart, witty, empathetic, high-spirited etc., etc, ad nauseum... The problem is, if I'm bored or have something on my mind, it shuts right off and it's like I'm not there. And if I'm irritated, you know it, although I've tried to work really hard the past few years not to make it so apparent.
 

Nicki

Retired
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
When it works, it's great -- not to brag, but I'm great to be around! Smart, witty, empathetic, high-spirited etc., etc, ad nauseum... The problem is, if I'm bored or have something on my mind, it shuts right off and it's like I'm not there. And if I'm irritated, you know it, although I've tried to work really hard the past few years not to make it so apparent.

Great. I see, I've heard that when Fe users are angry, they tend to want everyone to be angry with them. Is that true at all in your experience?
 

Lux

Kraken down on piracy
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
1,458
Great. I see, I've heard that when Fe users are angry, they tend to want everyone to be angry with them. Is that true at all in your experience?

I rarely get angry. Anger is already an uncomfortable and messy emotion - sharing it is not something I want to do. I will work out the cause on my own and once I figure out why I'm angry that knowledge makes the anger dissipate. I would not want another to feel anger because I did. I seek validation in other emotions but not anger.

To answer the op, I have the same answer for both - lots of different perspectives and concern of how decisions will affect others. Helping and hindering on a regular basis.
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
6,266
It's like a jack in the box with your mothers face.
 

Nicki

Retired
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
I rarely get angry. Anger is already an uncomfortable and messy emotion - sharing it is not something I want to do. I will work out the cause on my own and once I figure out why I'm angry that knowledge makes the anger dissipate. I would not want another to feel anger because I did. I seek validation in other emotions but not anger.

To answer the op, I have the same answer for both - lots of different perspectives and concern of how decisions will affect others. Helping and hindering on a regular basis.

Oh okay, could you give me an example?
 

hazelsees

Member
Joined
Feb 1, 2013
Messages
124
MBTI Type
INFJ
It's like a jack in the box with your mothers face.

That made me laugh out loud and startled my cat.

Ni. It's always described as "Ah Ha!" moments. In those online descriptions. It's not like that for me. It's like when a situation or whatever comes up, I just know stuff. I get it. Understand it....and not because of "ah ha!" It's like it was there before I knew what the situation was/is. Or they happen together. Does that make sense?

And Ni with Fe--that sucks sometimes let me tell ya. It causes a really icky internal struggle that isn't fun and sometimes Fe wins and I hate myself afterwards.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I think the weirdest thing is kinda seeing everything backwards almost. Or maybe not backwards exactly. I am always mentally fast-forwarding scenarios, playing with variables and probabilities. I don't really miss the forest for the trees so much as try to see so far into the forest that I walk into the tree in front of me fairly regularly. :doh:

I automatically mentally flip scenarios and play devil's advocate with my initial inclinations, checking for bias, missed variables, and lack of compassion. I don't always come to conclusions and take actions based on those analysis, but they take up a fair amount of brain space.

I am also usually attempting to codify unwritten social rules in my head. That can actually be kind of fun because a lot of the rules sound incredibly stupid and/or petty and/or vulgar when you make them explicit instead of implicit. It also gets me in trouble sometimes, especially when I have the misfortune to have them solidify in my head while I'm already running my mouth about something, and worst of all, if I'm engaging in nervous chatter. :shock: People either end up thinking I'm out to lunch or inspired. Usually they think I'm out to lunch, which I suppose is a reasonable conclusion based on the data available.
 

Nicki

Retired
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
I think the weirdest thing is kinda seeing everything backwards almost. Or maybe not backwards exactly. I am always mentally fast-forwarding scenarios, playing with variables and probabilities. I don't really miss the forest for the trees so much as try to see so far into the forest that I walk into the tree in front of me fairly regularly. :doh:

I automatically mentally flip scenarios and play devil's advocate with my initial inclinations, checking for bias, missed variables, and lack of compassion. I don't always come to conclusions and take actions based on those analysis, but they take up a fair amount of brain space.

I am also usually attempting to codify unwritten social rules in my head. That can actually be kind of fun because a lot of the rules sound incredibly stupid and/or petty and/or vulgar when you make them explicit instead of implicit. It also gets me in trouble sometimes, especially when I have the misfortune to have them solidify in my head while I'm already running my mouth about something, and worst of all, if I'm engaging in nervous chatter. :shock: People either end up thinking I'm out to lunch or inspired. Usually they think I'm out to lunch, which I suppose is a reasonable conclusion based on the data available.

That sounds really fascinating, could you give me an example?
 

Kierva

#KUWK
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
2,469
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
To me, it's harmony when everything is going fine, and unnecessary drama when it goes wrong. It's like being on a roller coaster.
 

Kierva

#KUWK
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
2,469
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Could you give me an example?

Umm, I got this friend who's an INFJ. Like, with people he uses his Ni to kind of like predict the mood of the group and adjusts his actions/speech accordingly... for example if everyone's having a good time at a party he doesn't say "I don't like parties" even though he doesn't like it, he'd probably feed the mood with a joke or something and then takes his leave. That way, nobody's mood is ruined and he gets his leave out from parties (which he doesn't like).

When he gets into drama that's when everything just goes down the drain. I'm rolling my eyes as I'm writing this. He gets into drama with someone because of <insert reason here>, and then he goes on this ramble about how the person made him feel and how he feels bad for getting into drama with the other person. And then comes the feeling of regret for making the other person feel bad and because of that, he feels bad himself.

The point I'm trying to make is that his feelings are not his, and that when drama happens it's like the regressive of Ni + Fe. Could be becomes could have been etc etc.
 

Nicki

Retired
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
Umm, I got this friend who's an INFJ. Like, with people he uses his Ni to kind of like predict the mood of the group and adjusts his actions/speech accordingly... for example if everyone's having a good time at a party he doesn't say "I don't like parties" even though he doesn't like it, he'd probably feed the mood with a joke or something and then takes his leave. That way, nobody's mood is ruined and he gets his leave out from parties (which he doesn't like).

When he gets into drama that's when everything just goes down the drain. I'm rolling my eyes as I'm writing this. He gets into drama with someone because of <insert reason here>, and then he goes on this ramble about how the person made him feel and how he feels bad for getting into drama with the other person. And then comes the feeling of regret for making the other person feel bad and because of that, he feels bad himself.

The point I'm trying to make is that his feelings are not his, and that when drama happens it's like the regressive of Ni + Fe. Could be becomes could have been etc etc.

That makes sense, thanks!
 
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