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  1. #1
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    Default ENFP versus ENFJ - difference?

    Just trying to figure out my 15-yo daughter. She did some quick online test and came out ENFP but I'm not so sure. I've read the descriptions and frankly they sound very similar to me. I know the function order for each but still...? Any obvious differences?

    But then again, sometimes teens surprise you - you don't know them as well as you thought. I saw my daughter's My Space and was quite surprised by several things However, my parents probably felt the same way about me at that age!

  2. #2
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    well, if she keeps spilling out strange ideas like "when i grow up, i want to become the minister of health and rid it of corruption by employing an army of 10 million policemen to survey them", or is the more studious type(likes to know a great many things), gets bored very easily, acts all goofy and things like that, then she is an enfp

    dunno how ENFJ's really behave frankly

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    or is the more studious type(likes to know a great many things), gets bored very easily, acts all goofy and things like that, then she is an enfp
    Yeah, she's all those things. Yet she has this side of her that I'm not sure fits in - she can be incredibly dismissive/cold when she perceives that someone has done her wrong or done a friend wrong (even if it's not a big deal). So IMO there is a lot of 'drama' around her. She recently dumped one of her best friends over something fairly trivial (at least to my mind) and because my daughter is the unofficial leader of the group, I'm afraid that this other girl lost most of her friends. Well, they are in highschool and it's none of my business but when I was her age I was definately more easy going about other people. On the exterior, however my daughter is open-minded, casual, and has a slightly 'alternative' vibe. She's also begging for piercings and a tattoo. :steam:

  4. #4
    Senior Member Leysing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    Yet she has this side of her that I'm not sure fits in - she can be incredibly dismissive/cold when she perceives that someone has done her wrong or done a friend wrong (even if it's not a big deal).
    I smell the rank odour of Fi.
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  5. #5
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Believe it or not, I think ENFPs have more controlled randomness than ENFJs, it's more of a steady state with ENFPs whereas with ENFJs will be very blendy and camouflagey and then bizarre things will pop out and then they'll return to being average. But it happens frequently enough for you to start questioning sanity but you're not really sure because ENFJs appear very "normal" when they choose to. ENFPs tend to stand out more because of their individuality. I think both types like being in the spotlight, although I think ENFPs tend to recess into themselves a bit more because of Fi.

    The ENFPs that I've known aren't flipping out everywhere, but the Ne is so apparent that it is just the way they are. I don't find it weird and I think people become used to that and it's them, the seeming randomness. I've not known any ENFJs for comparison, but camouflaging depends on if they're a Fe-ENFJ or a Ni-ENFJ. Ni-ENFJs don't cover as well and probably come across more like ENFPs. Fe-ENFJs do better cover up but are raving lunatics underneath.

    As far as energy levels are concerned, I think they're pretty similar in that regard. I'm a horrible J, so don't look for neatness and procrastination as an indicator but I'm very organized when it comes to people and stockpiling information about them, it gives me a file to pull. ENFJs will be more relationship oriented. ENFPs are probably more openly subversive than ENFJs. If someone gets into an organization and destroys it from the inside out it's probably and ENFJ. ENFPs are muckrakers. They make excellent co-conspirators. Both types are charming but in different ways: I feel like ENFJs are more studied, not canned or anything but focused in the "art of seduction" kind of way. ENFPs seem more candid and honest. I'm doing a horrible job of describing this so forgive me.

    Re daughter and dumping people: I'm pretty quick to cut someone and don't really regret it after I'm done. I believe in clean, painless swipes. I do give lots of chances for behavior to improve but if there is no improvement within a designated amount of time I'm out. I think an immature ENFJ will be a "Queen Bee" and get other people to do their dirty work for them so they can remain pure, spotless, and on honor roll. It really depends on the influences on the young ENFJ and how they're maturing. I can see it going lots of ways, the young ENFJ befriending every outcast that seems in need of a friend or being high upon the social totem if their Fe hasn't matured for them to get over that stuff yet.

    Any other ENFs like to add their commentary?

  6. #6

    Wink she very well could be enfp

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    Yeah, she's all those things. Yet she has this side of her that I'm not sure fits in - she can be incredibly dismissive/cold when she perceives that someone has done her wrong or done a friend wrong

    oh yes! don't get me started! I am this way too if I feel I have been wronged or unjustly treated. I will become totally frozen.

    (even if it's not a big deal). So IMO there is a lot of 'drama' around her. She recently dumped one of her best friends over something fairly trivial (at least to my mind) and because my daughter is the unofficial leader of the group, I'm afraid that this other girl lost most of her friends.

    Young ENFP's can do this a lot in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships too.

    Well, they are in highschool and it's none of my business but when I was her age I was definately more easy going about other people. On the exterior, however my daughter is open-minded, casual, and has a slightly 'alternative' vibe. She's also begging for piercings and a tattoo. :steam:
    ENFP's want to stand out and be cool. I, however, had a very structured life with my ISTJ mother and either enfp or isfp or infp father...so I somehow don't think I am a typical ENFP. I wish I understood this introverted feeling stuff better.

    Can anyone explain it to me??
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Algora J's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Believe it or not, I think ENFPs have more controlled randomness than ENFJs, it's more of a steady state with ENFPs whereas with ENFJs will be very blendy and camouflagey and then bizarre things will pop out and then they'll return to being average.
    One thing I've noticed about the primary difference in ENFJs and ENFPs is that ENFJs are great organizers who know everyone from a lot of different and varied areas. ENFPs, are charming as they are, often put their foot in their mouths and usually make a spectacle of themselves. They also have a tendency to talk really fast and act nervous around others.
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  8. #8
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    Thanks everyone! I'm thinking about everything here, but it's still not clear....? I'm leaning a bit to ENFP but it's hard because like a lot of teens I think she's trying hard to be a certain way on the exterior (cool and somewhat 'alternative' - I think it's called Scene) and I don't always think it lines up with who she is on the inside.

    I noticed on the career list on Similar Minds that the jobs for both of these types weren't exactly the professional or highly-educated ones. Is there a reason for this? (heck, even the jobs for my type are more studious sounding - engineers, mathematician, etc.).

    ENFP -
    performer, actor, entertainer, songwriter, musician, filmmaker, comedian, radio broadcaster/dj, some job related to theater/drama, poet, music journalist, work in fashion industry, singer, movie producer, playwright, bartender, comic book author, work in television, dancer, artist, record store owner, model, freelance artist, teacher (art, drama, music), writer, painter, massage therapist, costume designer, choreographer, make up artist

  9. #9
    Senior Member Leysing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    I noticed on the career list on Similar Minds that the jobs for both of these types weren't exactly the professional or highly-educated ones. Is there a reason for this? (heck, even the jobs for my type are more studious sounding - engineers, mathematician, etc.).

    ENFP -
    performer, actor, entertainer, songwriter, musician, filmmaker, comedian, radio broadcaster/dj, some job related to theater/drama, poet, music journalist, work in fashion industry, singer, movie producer, playwright, bartender, comic book author, work in television, dancer, artist, record store owner, model, freelance artist, teacher (art, drama, music), writer, painter, massage therapist, costume designer, choreographer, make up artist
    They are favored careers. I suppose ENFPs are social beings and they love being around and helping people. They might do very well as scientists (I know one who has worked as a scientist before (and liked it) and now is a teacher because of one her impulsive ENTP husband's impulses ), but they maybe like people-oriented jobs more.

    Maybe. I'm not an ENFP

  10. #10
    Senior Member wedekit's Avatar
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    I thought this might help out:

    "ENFP children are 'into everything.' Their natural curiosity results in children for whom questions were invented. They often spend long periods of time devising new and original --- but not necessarily practical --- languages, plays, and scenarios. Many ENFPs enjoy drawing, writing, playacting, and dreaming. They are often chosen as leaders because of their persuasive enthusiasm and their energy for new and different ways of developing things.

    ENFP teenagers are agreeable, sociable, outgoing people who like to imagine themselves in the future. They spend many hours wondering and discussing with friends whom they will marry, where they will live, what their children will be like, and what work they will do. They leave no option or possibility unexplored and find it difficult to see themselves in any single job or career."
    "ENFJ children want life to be friendly, harmonious, and lively. They are responsible children because they like to please others and meet their needs. In doing for others, they usually find satisfaction for themselves. They are upset by conflict or disharmony. They are pleasant, exuberant and talkative.

    ENFJ teenagers are constantly on the go, participating in many, many things. They enjoy a wide variety of activities, not only for that variety but also for the action and opportunity to be with others. They love being involved with friends, clubs, and any activities that let them be with others. ENFJs are often voted most congenial or nicest person in their class. Additionally, they may serve as leaders in their school activities. As students, they are able to focus on the interpersonal spirit or nature of the school and to speak eloquently to others about the school's best values. ENFJs are likable because they notice what is good about people."
    I thought I should mention that most ENFJs I know always seem gravitate towards leadership positions, and most ENFPs I know don't.
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