[ENFP] ENFP versus ENFJ - difference?

[Mondo]

I often mess up these two types.
I have 'mistaken' an ENFP for an ENFJ before. (In the sense, this person thinks she's ENFP but I disagree..)
But I've never mistaken someone who thinks he or she is an ENFJ for an ENFP...

 

[Poki]

"ENFJ children want life to be friendly, harmonious, and lively. They are responsible children because they like to please others and meet their needs. In doing for others, they usually find satisfaction for themselves. They are upset by conflict or disharmony. They are pleasant, exuberant and talkative.

ENFJ teenagers are constantly on the go, participating in many, many things. They enjoy a wide variety of activities, not only for that variety but also for the action and opportunity to be with others. They love being involved with friends, clubs, and any activities that let them be with others. ENFJs are often voted most congenial or nicest person in their class. Additionally, they may serve as leaders in their school activities. As students, they are able to focus on the interpersonal spirit or nature of the school and to speak eloquently to others about the school's best values. ENFJs are likable because they notice what is good about people."

My wife fits the ENFJ description. She was friends with all the counselors and teachers. Was pretty popular with just about everyone from the unpopular ones to the popular ones. She was always involved in after school stuff, always volunteered to help with everything. Always maintained good grades and stayed after school to get help from the teachers.

Her math was always extremely organized, neat, showed every single step just like the teachers wanted. I didnt go to her school yet I was in her year book more times than I was in my own. She would go to football and everything to socialize, not really interested in the games. Was always in some kind of club.

 

[Goatman455]

Hahahaah, I used to tell people I was going to be a feminist psychologist (because boys smell!), a primatologist (because boys smell! HAHAHAAHAH) or else become the first female Asian governor of CA.

ENFPs definitely give off a 'different' vibe but it's not necessarily a bad thing. I think to adults pick up the vibe right away and it translates to potential and/or precociousness.

Also, ENFPs are rarely aware of the impression they are making on others, whereas ENFJs are in control of it.

I disagree completely. I think ENFPs tend to speak first think later, and ENFJs tend to act first think later. However, they are both aware of what other people think of them. ENFJs also have a higher tendency to be dishonest than ENFPs in my experience (deep down, ENFJs bullshit more) ENFPs on the other hand I have noticed have a tendency to be too honest at times, alienating those they speak to.

Again just my experience, but hopefully a helpful observation regardless.

 

[Goatman455]

this is a rough synopsis, maybe I will revise later...

As far as surface level, ENFPs seem to me to be bouncing balls of flame, warm and glowy. The Ne bounces everywhere exuberantly and usually in a fun way, but that Fi underlying it tends to make them burn and flash. It's less about control than spontaneous life. They connect with people by their outer flex and exuding life.

ENFJs seem to be more controlled and stable. They've got a focused Fe demeanor. That's where they connect -- in their sense of the rights and boundaries of others, their own responsibilities, how everything should mesh together and meet in order to properly respect each person. And the underlying Ni lets them understand what it's like to be in other people's shoes, it fuels the understand and empathy aspect.

But the largest aspect seems to be the "lively bounce" versus the 'warm control.'

Hmm, I don't know if I agree with understand and empathy aspect. I think both types do it in different ways.

I notice that ENFJ Fe tends to do what it "THINKS" other people want, not necessarily what they want. ENFJs Fe I think is good at picking up on other people's feelings but not at understanding them. On the other side ENFP I think is less likely to be picking up on the feelings but shows a greater understanding of the feelings they do pick up. ENFP is more thoughtful in emotion, ENFJ more receptive. This is why it can seem the opposite. Sometimes ENFPs just aren't paying attention and therefore show absolutely no empathy, or realize too late, which can make them seem as if they don't understand. Lastly, if ENFPs core values are violated, they won't care how nice they are and can say mean things, whereas I think ENFJ will either avoid the uncomfortable situation or act on it in an extreme way.


Wow are we really boxing in these two types, I guess you have to for discussion purposes, but remember to keep an open mind with this stuff, and not box these types in too much.

 

[proteanmix]

Wow, Goatman, what ENFJ hurt you?

 

[Goatman455]

Wow, Goatman, what ENFJ hurt you?

You taking this stuff too personally or something? You are reacting like an ENFJ btw, lol. What exactly did I say that insulted you, or challenged your perceptions of ENFJs? Also, what is your type? Sometimes the truth hurts. I have great experience with ENFJ, their positives and their negatives.

I think arrogance is probably their worst trait, and friendliness their best.


Ahh I realized, it was the bullshitting comment. It is true in my experience, EJs and IPs bullshit more, they are referred to as "dynamic" personalities vs. "static" personalities in socionics.






"If it's any help, my ENFP best friend dropped one of our close friends because the friend didn't return an "important" phone call."


That does not sound like an ENFP, wow, that is kind of strange.

 

[proteanmix]

You taking this stuff too personally or something? What exactly did I say that insulted you, or challenged your perceptions of ENFJs?

Judging by tone of your last fews posts, I think you've taken the ENFJ/FP thing a little personally. Your first 5 posts have been in this thread. Why'd you choose this thread as the place to start? Hoping some ENFJ would bite? You want some ENFJ to throw you on the floor, dontcha?

 

[Goatman455]

Judging by tone of your last fews posts, I think you've taken the ENFJ/FP thing a little personally. Your first 5 posts have been in this thread. Why'd you choose this thread as the place to start? Hoping some ENFJ would bite? You want some ENFJ to throw you on the floor, dontcha?

Yes, I did join recently, thank you for that warm welcome (oh, btw, ENFPs are no stranger to sarcasm). I figured what better place to post than on a subject I have so much experience with.

Actually I was correcting perceived mistakes/giving my opinion about the subject, what do you mean by "throw you on the floor" I am not familiar with that figure of speech.


You really are reacting like the ENFJs that I see when they are personally insulted. You are trying to find reasons I am wrong and reasons to discredit me rather than looking at what I said objectively.

I wasn't trying to insult anyone, merely polish up people's judgments a bit. Why are you so personally insulted, you gotta be an ENFJ or something, or have some good connection with one. No hard feelings on my end here. You really need to work on giving people the "Benefit of the doubt". May come as ironic considering things I have pointed out, but it is true, you haven't given any logic or any opinions you have just insulted mine, lol, nice try.


BTW, as you obviously have personal beef with me, let's take this to private messenger and keep all stuff related to ENFJ/ENFP differences here.

 

[proteanmix]

You really are reacting like the ENFJs that I see when they are personally insulted. You are trying to find reasons I am wrong and reasons to discredit me rather than looking at what I said objectively.

OK, hommegoat, I wasn't personally offended by anything you wrote, just noticed that you have a bitter tone in your posts and wondered why, which the was wrapped in a dry statement. Facial cues and tone of voice is all lost over the internet so, that's that.

I'm guessing you want me to become offended to prove your point?

 

[Goatman455]

OK, hommegoat, I wasn't personally offended by anything you wrote, just noticed that you have a bitter tone in your posts and wondered why, which the was wrapped in a dry statement. Facial cues and tone of voice is all lost over the internet so, that's that.

I'm guessing you want me to become offended to prove your point?

Lol, no remember one of my points was how direct ENFPs are and indirect ENFJs are with communication. I am being straightforward with you here. You can be offended if you want, but you shouldn't be, your anger is misplaced here in my opinion, let's take this to Private Chat. I have sent this to you.

 

[Poki]

Ok, lets take this objectionally.

Te is used to take someone somewhere logically. I will defeat you if you follow me to where I am leading you.

Fe is the same way in regards to feeling.

Sorry protean but logic is easier to follow and direct online than feelings.

 

[proteanmix]

LOL, what?

This got really :crazy: really fast.

 

[Happyman]

OK, I think there are actually many differences - obvious, as planning stuff, liking/disliking decision making etc, but I want to write about the two 'easiest to spot' differences:

1. Privacy
ENFJs will tell you a lot of personal details, but to the point only. Nothing about family problems or so (if he/she does, you're a super close person).
ENFPs on the other hand are much more open.


2. How they move and look.

ENFPs are often charmingly-clumsy (my good ENFP friend is dangerous to be around when having a cup of coffee in her hand ). Also their fashion style is.. very NF. They also move around a lot.

ENFJs look more socially-acceptable, but often with one little personal, extravagant detail. I didn't notice ENFJs clumsiness, though I get a bit tensed when somebody watches closely what I do. We're also really relaxed among friends (I am constantly told I sit like I own the place ).

So, the two.

---0
On the other hand, a very intriguing difference for me is the morality these two types present. I'm pretty sure some ENFJs will not agree, but I'll write it anyway, because I'm intrigued if you also feel this way:

ENFPs have their own moral code. Pretty crazy sometimes, but very stiff. It often has nothing to do with the one society follows, but still THEY HAVE IT. Must be the Fi, I presume.
ENFJs are more.. hm.. conventional. The morality steams more from empathy. We also have this 'save the world' thing...

Damn, am I selling our secrets??

Cool thread, btw.

 

[Poki]

LOL, what?

This got really :crazy: really fast.

You are gonna have to use Ti my padawon if you plan to defeat goatboy Fe will not serve you good here.

 

[Goatman455]

You are gonna have to use Ti my padawon if you plan to defeat goatMAN455 Fe will not serve you good here.

Who is trying to defeat me? That won't work, lol. This isn't a competition, we are expressing views in a friendly manner, and Fe is not very effective on message boards where people are trying to make points anyway. I think in person is where Fe shines.

 

[BlackCat]

Who is trying to defeat me? That won't work, lol.

Oh man I think we've met our maker.

^Times infinity.

 

[Goatman455]

OK, I think there are actually many differences - obvious, as planning stuff, liking/disliking decision making etc, but I want to write about the two 'easiest to spot' differences:

1. Privacy
ENFJs will tell you a lot of personal details, but to the point only. Nothing about family problems or so (if he/she does, you're a super close person).
ENFPs on the other hand are much more open.


2. How they move and look.

ENFPs are often charmingly-clumsy (my good ENFP friend is dangerous to be around when having a cup of coffee in her hand ). Also their fashion style is.. very NF. They also move around a lot.

ENFJs look more socially-acceptable, but often with one little personal, extravagant detail. I didn't notice ENFJs clumsiness, though I get a bit tensed when somebody watches closely what I do. We're also really relaxed among friends (I am constantly told I sit like I own the place ).

So, the two.

---0
On the other hand, a very intriguing difference for me is the morality these two types present. I'm pretty sure some ENFJs will not agree, but I'll write it anyway, because I'm intrigued if you also feel this way:

ENFPs have their own moral code. Pretty crazy sometimes, but very stiff. It often has nothing to do with the one society follows, but still THEY HAVE IT. Must be the Fi, I presume.
ENFJs are more.. hm.. conventional. The morality steams more from empathy. We also have this 'save the world' thing...

Damn, am I selling our secrets??

Cool thread, btw.

Very interesting, I think you touch on some good points.
However as far as the sitting like you own the place, I think that arrogant swagger (no offense, but it is true in my experience) is present in a lot of ENFJs, I consider it a big weakness, but no doubt some (mainly EJs) like it.

I have noticed at least for me, as an ENFP, I am more "save the world" than ENFJs I know. This could be down to the individual and something that these personality systems don't cover, but I feel like ENFJs want to help the world, but they do it on a level that is closer and more personal to them. They also are more likely to do it by helping individuals.

Again, I am not trying to insult anyone, but any exploration of positive traits without negative ones is against the whole point of personality typing. We must attempt to get closer to the "shared truth" as much as we can.

 

[Goatman455]

Oh man I think we've met our maker.

^Times infinity.

You forgot this part when you quoted me (surprise, no benefit of the doubt here)

"This isn't a competition, we are expressing views in a friendly manner, and Fe is not very effective on message boards where people are trying to make points anyway. I think in person is where Fe shines."

 

[BlackCat]

You forgot this part when you quoted me (surprise, no benefit of the doubt here)

"This isn't a competition, we are expressing views in a friendly manner, and Fe is not very effective on message boards where people are trying to make points anyway. I think in person is where Fe shines."

Sarcasm dude. Lol.

Let your Te chill out, did you not get to leave the house today or something?

 

[Goatman455]

Sarcasm dude. Lol.

Let your Te chill out, did you not get to leave the house today or something?

Sorry I didn't get it. I left my house, why? Does that have something to do with whether one puts up with nonsense or not?


I was trying to get proteanmix and my discussion to a more private level so we wouldn't cause this kind of reaction in this thread.

For what it is worth, I am sorry if anyone is upset with what I said, but I have a lot of experience dealing with these personality types and I am merely stating what I believe to be accurate.