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  1. #51
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carolyn Beine View Post
    Oh man, yeah...I used to have pretty strange ideas as a kid/teenager, too.

    At twelve, I was saying things like:

    "In the future, I am going to go to college, get my Ph.D., get into an international organization and become a diplomat and eventually become the Secretary of State."

    Yeah, that'll pretty much flabbergast or shut most people up. Then I decided, "Hmm, that is probably not the BEST thing to say."
    Hahahaah, I used to tell people I was going to be a feminist psychologist (because boys smell!), a primatologist (because boys smell! HAHAHAAHAH) or else become the first female Asian governor of CA.

    ENFPs definitely give off a 'different' vibe but it's not necessarily a bad thing. I think to adults pick up the vibe right away and it translates to potential and/or precociousness.

    Also, ENFPs are rarely aware of the impression they are making on others, whereas ENFJs are in control of it.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari
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  2. #52
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    this is a rough synopsis, maybe I will revise later...

    As far as surface level, ENFPs seem to me to be bouncing balls of flame, warm and glowy. The Ne bounces everywhere exuberantly and usually in a fun way, but that Fi underlying it tends to make them burn and flash. It's less about control than spontaneous life. They connect with people by their outer flex and exuding life.

    ENFJs seem to be more controlled and stable. They've got a focused Fe demeanor. That's where they connect -- in their sense of the rights and boundaries of others, their own responsibilities, how everything should mesh together and meet in order to properly respect each person. And the underlying Ni lets them understand what it's like to be in other people's shoes, it fuels the understand and empathy aspect.

    But the largest aspect seems to be the "lively bounce" versus the 'warm control.'
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #53
    Member nightwatcher's Avatar
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    Briefly, these are the differences in the type of feeling used by each: extraverted feeling (used by ENFJs) is concerned about maintaining social structure, is more conventional, while introverted feeling (used by ENFPs) is about depth and personal values outside of convention, more attuned to inner emotional states. Empathy for the outcast is more Fi than Fe, the latter being concerned about maintaining standards and social customs that hold the group together. Essentially, introverted feeling is type 4 on the Enneagram. Extraverted feeling is Mrs. Weasley in Harry Potter, who’s probably an ESFJ. Her main priority is always on upholding the structure of her family: the social unit.
    "Space was big, and the boys from Earth were awed despite themselves by the things they found there: but worse, their science was in a mess. Every race they met on their way through the Core had a star drive based on a different theory. All those theories worked, even when they ruled out one another’s basic assumptions. You could travel between the stars, it began to seem, by assuming anything.”

    —M. John Harrison, “Light”

  4. #54

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    Quote Originally Posted by wedekit View Post
    I thought this might help out:
    I thought I should mention that most ENFJs I know always seem gravitate towards leadership positions, and most ENFPs I know don't.
    ENFJs seek and are comforted by order and routine--not so with ENFPs. All you need ot do is check out their spice cabinet to see the difference. ENFJs tend to organize, even alphabetize their spices and actually put theim back in the proper order over time. You won't find the cumiin with the parsley. ENFPs might think it's a good idea, but the system would fall apart soon.

  5. #55
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzanne Brue View Post
    ENFJs seek and are comforted by order and routine--not so with ENFPs. All you need ot do is check out their spice cabinet to see the difference. ENFJs tend to organize, even alphabetize their spices and actually put theim back in the proper order over time. You won't find the cumiin with the parsley. ENFPs might think it's a good idea, but the system would fall apart soon.
    LOL! My spices are organized according to frequency of use!

  6. #56
    Senior Member edcoaching's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzanne Brue View Post
    ENFJs seek and are comforted by order and routine--not so with ENFPs. All you need ot do is check out their spice cabinet to see the difference. ENFJs tend to organize, even alphabetize their spices and actually put theim back in the proper order over time. You won't find the cumiin with the parsley. ENFPs might think it's a good idea, but the system would fall apart soon.
    Although...I find lots of ENFJs who can organize events and people, and whose homes look nice, but open a cupboard or drawer and chaos reigns.

    Several close ESFJ friends in contrast think that gift cards to The Container Store are the best present (although flowers are nice too...)

    edcoaching

  7. #57
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    In my experience, ENFJ's are way more structured. My ENFP friend is very spontaneous, but then again she is extreme P. I think ENFJ's tend to be more "normal" on the surface. Inwardly, though, we are really whackos

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzanne Brue View Post
    ENFJs seek and are comforted by order and routine--not so with ENFPs. All you need ot do is check out their spice cabinet to see the difference. ENFJs tend to organize, even alphabetize their spices and actually put theim back in the proper order over time. You won't find the cumiin with the parsley. ENFPs might think it's a good idea, but the system would fall apart soon.
    So true! I love to alphabetize, while my ENFP friend thinks it's a waste of time, and I should spend more time "enjoying" my spices, not organizing them (theoretically speaking; we have discussed spice organization).

  9. #59
    Senior Member Algora J's Avatar
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    I think the main difference is that ENFJs like to initiate whereas ENFPs are better at going with the flow.


    ENFJs take time to organize and come up with their own ideas, while ENFPs do really well when they are given a specific task, but generally they like to have fun and good at motivating and connecting with other people.

    Despite their similarities, I think they each have a different thinking style. ENFPs might be closer to ENTPs whereas ENFJs might have more similarities to ENTJs.

    That's all I have for now.
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  10. #60
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    I think you guys might be reading a bit too much detail into your descriptions. I don't think one or the other necessarily makes a better leader, that is more up to the individual, anyone can be a good leader for example.

    I think the key things to look at are: Straightforwardness of communication, and activity level.

    I think ENFJs are more likely to act then think, ENFPs are more likely to think then act. On the converse, ENFJs will think before they speak frequently, and ENFPs just say what comes to their minds.

    Also, on that note, ENFJs are not as straightforward, direct, or honest with their communication. They say what they think they need to say for effect, and are not above Bullshitting a little bit, if they think it will make other people feel better (in the short term at least) or prevent people from thinking poorly of themselves. ENFPs usually say what comes to mind, and although are aware of how it may effect people, say it directly, valuing open communication and honesty.



    This is where I am going to interject my own opinion from experience: I think ENFJs are more likely to be ego driven for lack of a better word, they know how to manipulate people and are not always against it despite a strong sense of personal ethics. ENFPs are less likely to do this, but also struggle sometimes because of this. They are so direct it can hurt other people's opinions of them because other people are so used to (or prefer) getting BSed by less honest types.

    I think in the end, if you have to make a leadership judgment,

    I think ENFJs are more drawn to these positions, but actually make worse leaders. Normally people drawn to leadership positions are poor leaders because they are drawn there for selfish reasons. I think ENFJs that are drawn to leadership are more likely to do it out of arrogance, power, and ego, while ENFPs are more likely out of personal love for whatever they are leading, or because they don't want to be lead by someone else. I know personally, I think our (humans) current leadership hierarchy is far too vertical, and needs to be more horizontal. We need to be equals, not have 1 leader who tells us all what to do. That said, in the end, it matters on each individual reading this and their preferred leadership style. Some people prefer more selfish style leaders, and others more self sacrificing.

    ENFJs are more convincing leaders, but ENFPs are better ones.

    ENFJs are more traditional leaders, but ENFPs are more progressive in their leadership.

    ENFJs are more organized leaders, but ENFPs are more thoughtful ones.



    I talked earlier about the conscious differences that they display in their communication (ENFPs consciously try and be more honest, ENFJs more consciously try and consider other people feelings before speaking. However, on the unconscious realm it is a different story. The unconscious must be observed because clearly even the individual is not very aware of these impulses. I believe on the unconscious level:

    ENFJs words are adapted for others but their actions are more selfish
    ENFPs actions are adapted for others but their words are more selfish

    This may seem counter intuitive to the introverted actions of an ENFP and the extraverted actions of the ENFJ, but I think that usually our extroverted sides are more selfish while appearing to consider others. This is why extroversion is more common, but also more shunned universally. The majority is usually survivable, and the minority correct. If the minority wasn't right, they would have little need to exist.


    I also think ENFPs, tend to lead and think more long term, and ENFJs more short term, however both types are pretty long term oriented. An example is how the ENFJ is more likely to be less than honest to make someone feel better. If they can make someone feel better in the moment they feel better, but they don't always think of the long run and how this will affect the person if said individual knew their true intentions.

    In the end though, I think the leadership style is more about the person than the Myers Briggs type, remember there are only 16 types, and there are way more people than that on the Earth.

    Last note: I am an ENFP (4w5) myself and this may make it hard for me to judge an ENFJ (and vice versa), of course it could also make my judgments more bitingly accurate too. Don't you love the gray? Nothing closer mirrors reality than fence sitting, because our world is rarely boxed in so easily. Also, given the fact that we are so connected to our functions (you can't separate Extroverted Intuition from Introverted Feeling), and because we frequently display traits from out of type (an ENFJ will frequently experience Extroverted Intuition and Introverted Feeling despite their preference being the opposite) it makes it very difficult to properly pin types down with any sort of accurate certainty.

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