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Thread: The ENFP Male

  1. #1
    Senior Member Angry Ayrab's Avatar
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    Default The ENFP Male

    I have read this in many places and they all seem to say that ENFP males are different than their female counterparts. I thought this would be true for all types but I could be wrong?

    Here is my personal observation as a ENFP male growing up. As a kid, it was very important for others to know that I was brave or a badass so I always did the stupidest things you could imagine. I was that one kid that the little sneaky introverted kids always came to and said: I dare you to do blah blah blah blah.... What are you a chicken? My response would be: Screw you, I ain't a chicken, followed by jumping out of the car as it was driving (like in the movies or something equally as stupid).

    As much as I hated fights and will admit I was a chicken when it came to them, everyone thought I was the dude to call to a fight just because I ate my fear and kicked ass a couple of times. After the fact that those fights happened, I will admit that I made sure everyone knew that I kicked some major ass with some serious pwnage. I was a chicken that would do anything to prove to others otherwise.

    As I grew up and got more mature and entered college etc... (I am still maturing I am sure), I learned to figure out what was important and what was not. Maybe I had my fill of being called a badass and my reputation still precedes, but I do not find it necessary to show off as much as I used too. I have slowly become the straight gay guy of my group with all the girls asking me what I think about such and such and all the little feely touchy things etc...

    The only thing that scares me is that I rarely let my feelings out as much as I want too. My feely side is shown only through my diplomacy and how I handle situations and people, but the way I talk looks like I am more of a T than anything. This scares me because after many social interactions I go and kick my self in the ass for saying stupid things like wow, you've been eating, or pointing something out that I shouldn't have. The scariest part is me getting really T in debates (I was a speech and debate captain in high school and undergrad) but I really made my openants look stupid, because I was good at twisting ideas and making others seem irrational etc... but after the fact, I would feel so bad for the person.

    I still do like having my ego stroked everyonce in a while, but coming from a family of 8 brothers it is odd for me to hear a compliment so I get real shy and pretend nothing of it, maybe even get uncomfortable when it is given to me.

    Wow this just became a series of rambles, but anyway, what are your thoughts on the subject, all perspectives are welcome.

  2. #2
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    I can personally relate to a lot of things mentioned above- minus the badass stunts part and 8 sibligs, tons of cousins though.. I was often the comedic adventurous leader/diplomat to those closest to me.. the *baby* to my closest older cousins.

    I used to voice my opinions out a lot, especially during Jr. High. Talk about badass! I had so many detention slips for chewing gum, wearing clogs in P.E., standing up for friends when they needed me, throwing gang signs at teachers (jokingly "West-siide"). I was pretty rebellious. Life was a party! I felt like Left-Eye.

    As I got older, I calmed down A whole LOT more..

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    I know I really came into my own as an adult. I figured out what it was I am and who I wanted to be...In other words, how I would be happy.

    What other people think or don't think is just not as relevant anymore. My first priority is to be authentic and real. If I want to be emotionally expressive, I am. If I want to have a philosophical discussion, then I do. If I want to hang out with 20 people, then I do. If I want to spend 3 days by myself contemplating, I make it happen.

    Letting go of the external reactors and tuning into the internal cues is what I found to be the most fulfilling.

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    EvanTheClown (ETC) Clownmaster's Avatar
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    The definition of how you acted in childhood is a mirror to how I acted. On the college-and-up part, we differ greatly. I only know one ENFP female and she's rather awesome, but I don't know enough ENFP females to be able to generalize for the entire gender so I'll hold my tongue until further notice.

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    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Damnit, had such a good idea for an image in this post, but everytime I search for metrosexual in google, I only find pictures of David Beckham
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EvanTheClown View Post
    The definition of how you acted in childhood is a mirror to how I acted. On the college-and-up part, we differ greatly. I only know one ENFP female and she's rather awesome, but I don't know enough ENFP females to be able to generalize for the entire gender so I'll hold my tongue until further notice.
    She sounds like an awesome badass chick yo. I'd totally hit that.

    On an entirely unrelated note, I think ENFP males and females differ simply because genders tend to differ. Females don't act or think the same way all the time as males, so that I think puts a small barrier between the two..

    ... but even so, I find myself around my ENFP male friends extremely comfortable, and we tend to think a lot alike when it comes to daily life and even more serious topics (we might have different conclusions, but the way we got to them seems similar between us all) in general when we actually get around to talking about them instead of making fun of each other or others >.>...

    So there's my theory on it! Albeit the difference seems slight on my end, I am a bit of a tomboy..
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    Member BlownAway's Avatar
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    Hmm..interesting! I also think that male ENFP:s and female ENFP:s differ mostly because of gender differences. I have one male ENFP friend, we now speak, think and act in a similar way. Dramatic, abstract, always in the world of ideas...we're both bit of "drama queens" . However, he was WILD when growing up, picking fights and so on. I was the opposite..calm and still. So, I think a lot is gender related? Growing up the differences decrease..

    You male ENFP:s out there, do you find it struggling to be male and Feeler? I mean, being a female I'm "allowed" to "freak out" a bit more, break down crying and stuff.. Being a male feeler, do you feel at ease doing things like that or has it been suppressed and coming out in other ways? I'm not sure I make any sense now haha..hope you understand what I mean

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    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    I have read this in many places and they all seem to say that ENFP males are different than their female counterparts. I thought this would be true for all types but I could be wrong?
    ya your right because this is true for all other types lol
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

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    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    i wasn't as extreme with my 'manliness proving' but yeah it was definitely there. i tried to get into sports for a while just to prove a point. didn't like them, wasn't any good at them but there you go. during my childhood, i was aware that i was different but i still tried to adjust to society's standards. that lead to a lot of 'over adjusting' and failed results.

    i became a lot more introverted. i remember having the belief that being alone meant being safe emotionally. i wandered around school myself during lunch times a lot to avoid being teased for not being the most athletic guy etc. ironically though, i still cared about people. i would talk to anyone that sat on the same table as me, talk to randoms on the bus, want to get to social events early etc. it wasn't until the mid-later stages of high school when i really opened up.

    i think a lot of that was caused by the social expectations of being a boy. we NF's aren't particularly cold or macho after all and school's a minefield .

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    xxFx males tend to hypersexualize their masculinity because masculinity is thought to be more so xxTx trait. Feely men because they do not fit within the stereotype of the action hero thinker type often seen in movies will overcompensate either by being going to the gym and working out too much, acting more aggressive, or become more competitive than they should.

    The problem exists for women too who are xxTx than xxFx. However for women in the Thinker world they problem don't try to act feminine and don't have as much hangups as Feeler men do.

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