[ENFP] How to Ceaselessly String Along an ENFP

[kiddykat]

well...he's probably both sorry to say...we just are!! sweet and engaging one minute and aloof or feisty the next....it's just different moods...but isn't everyone that way??

Ditto!

 

[Poki]

Think of an ESTP and how much time they spend in Se compared to Ti. Its just something you said related to some mental picture and that thing caused a feeling.

edit:ignore this, Im getting beat down from thinking to much, dont know where i was going with it.

 

[ragashree]

Pretend to be fooled by their attempts at teasing you. This has never yet failed with the main ENFP in my life

 

[Tiny Army]

I think that being raised among Ts has resulted in my tendency to logically explain any and all emotional behaviour as I'm doing it.

"I am going to sulk now because you said X, Y and Z and it hurt my feelings!"

"So you're just going to sulk for a few hours, then?"

"Well if you just apologise now we can skip ahead past the sulking."

"Lets do that."

 

[Von Mittendorf]

I have no idea what this is supposed to mean^
maybe:
"Pretending to be fooled when I tease you doesn't work because I logically explain what I am doing to tease you when I do so?"

something like that?

 

[Tiny Army]

Yeah. That.

High Ne becomes very vague.

 

[garbage]

I think that being raised among Ts has resulted in my tendency to logically explain any and all emotional behaviour as I'm doing it.

Huh.. for me, being raised in a T environment just led me to stifle and ignore emotion rather than try to include it as a factor in whatever decision I'm facing.

Needless to say.. I like your approach better.

 

[Laurie]

Maybe I should try that explain thing. I think I used to do it more, I guess I should start again.

 

[seagypsy]

Dude!
That is the worst list I've ever seen! I'm a mature ENFP and the best way to break up with us to say "It's over". I mean really - it doesn't get any clearer than that. How does an ENFP break up with others? We fade them. So if you are involved in a relationship with an ENFP and they stop calling you or get distant, it's probably over. We don't like to hurt feelings, so we'll fade the relationship.

Ok, going over your post....

1. This ENFP does not have a masochist side, so I don't know where you got that from!
Criticism makes THIS ENFP totally uninterested in anything you have to say. Buh-bye!
ENFPs are NOT the most common types. We are only 6 to 10% of the population. Do your homework before you start shooting out incorrect facts about us.

2. No one has ever "used me for sex". For me, love comes FIRST, sex is the icing on the cake - IF I approve of the person. I'm not one to have one-night-stands. I've been married to an INFJ for a very long time, but our relationship was never based on sex. It was based on LOVE.

3. A compliment or flattery doesn't make THIS ENFP think anything will continue in the relationship. Many of us have high self-esteems and we'll simply think you're right if you flatter us. Some ENFPs do hang on to bad relationships for too long, but that could also be upbringing and how they were raised.

~Gypsy~

 

[Laurie]

Dude!
How does an ENFP break up with others? We fade them. So if you are involved in a relationship with an ENFP and they stop calling you or get distant, it's probably over. We don't like to hurt feelings, so we'll fade the relationship.

Awesome! I will probably think in the "fade" term from now on.

I agree sex is just part of the total relationship but if someone doesn't "get" an enfp it can seem that sex is a huge part of the relationship. (maybe just personal experience?)

 

[Serendipity]

reply to way earlier post.

I find that I have been an "unhealthy" enfp. Very manipulative and "boring". Nowadays though I just can't, thankfully to an insight I got that it felt bad and I didn't actually "meet" any one.
It was as being a living dead. As if life was on hold whilst I tried make contact with myself but had to react to outer sources at the same time.

I think I've leveled up my Fi pretty much nowadays. xD (just random statement)

 

[whale miner]

i disagree with a lot of that, my friends are only people who treat me well.

I agree with Dom, it sounds like an enfp burned you

 

[tastes_like_purple]

Anyhow, I was consulting with a male ENFP friend of mine, and he has been trapped in circulating thoughts of why his relationships ended and never seems be able to move on.

We've dissected some reasons for this, and I believe ENFPs- male or female, tend to have problems ending relationships and ceaselessly hang on despite the fact that it is made clear to them that the relationship is OVER.

Anyhow, here is a list on how to string along an ENFP:

1. Criticize them about their looks, intelligence and lifestyle choices. ENFPs have a masochistic side, have low opinions of themselves and will immediately be attracted to and attach themselves to anyone who criticizes them. Ironically ENFPs will not like people who are actually respectful and nice to them. Since ENFPs are the most common type in the population, this is where all the ridiculous pop psychology books "He's just not that into you" and "The Rules" come from. These are made for the ENFP.

2. Use them for sex. ENFPs believe sex is a sign of love, in polar opposite to the way NTs think sex is an EXPRESSION of sexual desire. Sexual desire does not necessarily equate love. However, ENFPs will hang on to a relationship as long as there is sex involved, because to them, sex IS love and what they value the most in a relationship of the opposite sex.

3. You might be feeling guilty about hurting an ENFP, so occasionally you throw out a compliment to the ENFP. Do not do this. The ENFP will interpret that as a sign of getting back together. In their minds- the relationship never ended, and despite the fact that you showed clear signs that you did not want the relationship to continue, they will ironically, BLAME themselves for the end of the relationship and think that they were in the wrong and not a combination of you and the ENFP together that lead to the demise. The ENFP will turn over the events in her/his head over and over, and think she/he should've done something differently. So if you are in that break-up phase, don't compliment or say nice things to the ENFP, they will misinterpret this as a sign that you will get back together.

Anyhow, I think that covers most of it. ENFPs are sensitive, but they have a hard time letting go so it's best to quickly rip the band-aid off, then forever string them along.

I'm ashamed to say that this is all very true
Except for the sex part xD

 

[Thinkerninja]

i dont think that ENFPs are the most common types of the population.. NFs are or close to the most rare, SJs being the most common..

I'm pretty sure thats right..?

 

[Orangefeet]

1. Yes as a person I have stayed far too long in a bad relationship. More to do with time invested and really wanting to make sure I'm not making a mistake leaving. Compliments - see straight through them and don;t feel that comfortable receiving them unless I feel they are sincere, so in no way would I be flattered into staying into something I know is wrong.

Yes I will give all physically, but not cheaply and I can usually tell when someone is after cheap sex.

Yes I sometimes get overly sensitive to critisism and yes this is because I do make myself a figure of fun yet in some way think people will see there is a lot lore to me. mostly it's because I look so confident and yet the whole fun stuff is sometimes to hide the fact I feel quite uncomfortable and get far more silly when I do. But vanity isn't really the main culprit, frustration with myself.

I don;t have a low opinion of myself, but find it difficult to brag. With some people this seems the only way to impress and I suppose I feel people don't need to if you look hard enough, so yes maybe bragging is the way to go.

I feel the original post is a very cynical view point and rather nasty.

I do look for the best in people, but for me anyway, I don;t think anyone who butters me up is sincere, in other words I'm not stupid.

the only thing I do agree with is, I personally do see people as just really great and then find it over and over again amazing how selfish people can be and yet I've realised this is because of my own stupid expectations. I do on occasion try harder with people I find to be hard, to see if they have a soft side, but then quickly back off.

I also know I'm too sensitive and have learned to control that. But to use someone, well be happy with yourself for that one original poster. that's so clever and will really gain you happiness in the end!

 

[You]

1. ENFP are one of the least likely, especially amongst men.
2. I like sex. I have been burned, and personally fear all relationships and real intimacy right now. A problem, but certainly not typical.
3. Probably would work if I cared about somebody.

 

[Aleksei]

This thread makes me lol.

 

[angell_m]

ENFP:
outgoing, social, disorganized, easily talked into doing silly things, spontaneous, wild and crazy, acts without thinking, good at getting people to have fun, pleasure seeking, irresponsible, physically affectionate, risk taker, thrill seeker, likely to have or want a tattoo, adventurous, unprepared, attention seeking, hyperactive, irrational, loves crowds, rule breaker, prone to losing things, seductive, easily distracted, open, revealing, comfortable in unfamiliar situations, attracted to strange things, non punctual, likes to stand out, likes to try new things, fun seeker, unconventional, energetic, impulsive, empathetic, dangerous, loving, attachment prone, prone to fantasy

 

[Thalassa]

Anyhow, here is a list on how to string along an ENFP:

1. Criticize them about their looks, intelligence and lifestyle choices. ENFPs have a masochistic side, have low opinions of themselves and will immediately be attracted to and attach themselves to anyone who criticizes them. Ironically ENFPs will not like people who are actually respectful and nice to them. Since ENFPs are the most common type in the population, this is where all the ridiculous pop psychology books "He's just not that into you" and "The Rules" come from. These are made for the ENFP.

God, this is horribly true.

Except for the part where you say ENFPs are the most common type in the population. I'm pretty sure those are SFJs.

 

[skylights]

lol!

regardless of what nfp i am, 1 and 3 are veryyy true for me.

though no way nfps are the most common. maybe we are just the most likely to buy pop psychology books. i would believe that.