[ENFP] How to Ceaselessly String Along an ENFP

[Tiny Army]

Um... ENFPs make up less than 3% of the population. They are the LEAST common type followed closely by INFJs (I think.)

 

[Lady_X]

i think...intp's and infp's are less popular than we are though too....but we're not the most common...that's crazy talk!

 

[Tiny Army]

Oh whoops. So I actually researched this a little more. ENFPs make up less that 3% of the overall population (This is obviously not accurate because no one has taken a census of the MBTI of everyone on Earth). HOWEVER, they make up about 8% of the American population. ENFPs are more common here than anywhere else. No wonder I was starved for ENFPs back in Ireland!

 

[Udog]

Anyhow, here is a list on how to string along an ENFP:

1. Criticize them about their looks, intelligence and lifestyle choices. ENFPs have a masochistic side, have low opinions of themselves and will immediately be attracted to and attach themselves to anyone who criticizes them. Ironically ENFPs will not like people who are actually respectful and nice to them. Since ENFPs are the most common type in the population, this is where all the ridiculous pop psychology books "He's just not that into you" and "The Rules" come from. These are made for the ENFP.

He was doing pretty damn good until he got to the "ENFPs are the most common type" part, and it was downhill quickly from there. The other two had elements of truth, but were off the mark.

 

[Lady_X]

^^ you guys don't even know what you're talking about.

 

[Udog]

^^ you guys don't even know what you're talking about.

Well, in my case that would just make it another Tuesday.

 

[Wild horses]

Is it just me.. but why would you want to!? Aren't we ENFPs too much to handle as it is why keep us around when the relationship has well and truly passed it's sale by date??

 

[Laurie]

Aren't we ENFPs too much to handle as it is

Ahahah yes! so true! That's like asking a leech to hang around a little longer after all your blood is gone! ha!

 

[Wild horses]

HAHAHA!!! Too funny!!! Mind you I prefer sexy vampire but the underlying meaning is the same

 

[EXOTICCC]

im a enfp and very hurt to read that. very hurt

Hi
i read that and i was so hurt
ive never been perfect or felt close,
i may have hurt others but i know my intentions were never to try hurt them,
my ex hurt me and ripped my heart time and time again
kept being with me physically saying he cared but couldnt committ again
it hurt me and i didnt let go cause i felt i loved him ( and maybe still do but i try denie)
he was never very complimentry he never made my ego feel good when things got bad, but i kept alive the picture of how it used to be
and reading that post about stringing them along really hurt me and made me feel cheap and miserable
it hurt my heart deeply and i stopped speaking to him las night, after 2 years of trying,
whats funny is i can get who ever i want and always have been able too, so it hurts when i cant get him back, only physically i can get him which means lil to me....
i think no one should string no one along
no one should play games on purpose, not games like"dont compliment them"
yes i hung around and fekt insecure and lil around him, yes it kept me tryin 2 perfect what was broken
BUT it aint right
it caused me depression, suicidal thoughts
constant thought of ending it, i had a social phobia... eating disorder,,
so many things due to feeling rejected and no longer wanted my him
the one person who tried to get me back when i had left
had done alot also,

it aint nice, and i believe he tries to play these games and knows me better than he shows.. he knows how to trigger my issues and me to hang round
NOT nice and not good to fuck with someone,
cause what i do is remember these memories and hurt other innocent guys who try by bein unwilling to committ and be loyal
!!
tryin my best to be my best
But that post hurt and im bein honest

 

[Udog]

^^ Sorry you've been sad, EXOTICCC.

You do realize that the original post was pretty much full of shit though, right? He's either a troll or was trying to be funny, but failed.

The only thing I think ENFPs need to watch out for is #1, as I've seen them fall into that trap too many times to outright dismiss that point.

he was never very complimentry he never made my ego feel good when things got bad, but i kept alive the picture of how it used to be
and reading that post about stringing them along really hurt me and made me feel cheap and miserable
whats funny is i can get who ever i want and always have been able too, so it hurts when i cant get him back, only physically i can get him which means lil to me....

ENFPs, just because you live in a world where most people are suckers for your charm, it does NOT mean that someone immune to it is worthy of your time.

 

[Lady_X]

...

awww...sweet person sorry this stupid thread got to you. i don't think it was meant to be serious and if so they're full of shit because enfp's normally have a pretty healthy self concept and expect equality in relationships and need to feel affirmed and appreciated and all that so...this person saying the opposite is just bs. don't let anyone treat you that way. it is not love...that is not how you love someone...so let em go work on you and don't look back.

 

[Lady_X]

ENFPs, just because you live in a world where most people are suckers for your charm, it does NOT mean that someone immune to it is worthy of your time.

damn that's a statement, isn't it?

 

[Tiny Army]

We do not need to get up in arms over an old thread that was obviously someone lashing out at a type for an individual's behaviour. Come on, ENFPs! We're better than that.

 

[BlueScreen]

Yeh, I think the original was meant to be a joke. Sorry to hear about that though. I think Udog is right. It's hard but you don't want to chase the one who screws you round. And love is better mutual.

 

[BlackCat]

ENFPs, just because you live in a world where most people are suckers for your charm, it does NOT mean that someone immune to it is worthy of your time.

I think I'm immune to this also. :rolli: But ENFPs that I let into my life got to me in a way other than charm, they actually talked to me about normal friend things. This is also why a lot (and I mean a LOT) of ENFPs don't talk to me, because it doesn't work on me. The friendships starting had nothing to do with charm, so I'm guessing a healthy ENFP won't rely on their charm all the time. I do however see these unhealthy ENFPs "charming" people into being their friends all the time. It kind of bothers me.

The funny thing is, the OP is pretty much the definition of an unhealthy ENFP in a relationship. One of these ENFPs that didn't talk to me after one conversation is in an abusing relationship, constantly breaking up with and reconnecting with her boyfriend because she thinks it isn't over.

 

[Lady_X]

hmmhmmm...someone thinks highly of himself. nice of you to always express your disdain for enfp's i know i for one greatly appreciate it.

 

[Tiny Army]

I don't understand. "Charming people into being our friends"?

I like new friends and some people say I am charming. Behaving like that is most likely to get me new friends. It's not as though I intend to use and manipulate said friend. Hell, I might not connect with them completely and I meet such a volume of "new friends" every day that it simply doesn't occur to me to keep in constant touch with all of them. All of my deeper friendships had very little to do with how charming I was, but it just happens to be the face I put forward most often. It certainly is the most convenient.

Why does this bother people? I am curious. I had no idea that this kind of behaviour upset anyone.

 

[BlackCat]

A healthy anyone is a cool person. I don't hate ENFPs at all. I just dislike unhealthy people. If I disliked ENFPs then I wouldn't be friends with any. Unfortunately my judgment isn't accurate to everyone, because the age group that I associate with (high school) isn't exactly mature. I know plenty of older ENFPs (my mom is friends with a lot of them, being one herself and being around metaphysics) and they are all very cool people, save some unhealthy ones. I don't see where anything points to me thinking highly of myself either, if you meant by being immune to the charm I'm not saying that anyone who isn't is a lesser person at all. No person is lesser than another really.

Tiny: I think this kind of charming that I have experienced isn't a mature kind. It seems like some of the people take social chameleon to another level and don't act like themselves to get people to like them. I also meant the immature kind of ENFP charming people, which I have seen young and old. It seems to be like this.

 

[Lady_X]

I don't understand. "Charming people into being our friends"?

I like new friends and some people say I am charming. Behaving like that is most likely to get me new friends. It's not as though I intend to use and manipulate said friend. Hell, I might not connect with them completely and I meet such a volume of "new friends" every day that it simply doesn't occur to me to keep in constant touch with all of them. All of my deeper friendships had very little to do with how charming I was, but it just happens to be the face I put forward most often. It certainly is the most convenient.

Why does this bother people? I am curious. I had no idea that this kind of behaviour upset anyone.

yeah...i have a problem with people trying to insinuate that to be "charming" is to be fake and/or manipulative. we actually are friendly and engaging with people because we are genuinely excited to meet them and talk with them. it's not bs...it's not an act...it's honest and people respond to it because it feels good to have someone genuinely enjoy your company...why would someone wish to paint that so negatively?