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  1. #81
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    oh because i realize it can appear that way and it may be true for some but like i said in my previous post up there is that for me...it's more about being attracted to someone who seems more discriminating or less superficial...like hey that person over there isn't just feigning interest in me because they think i'm attractive...they must be secure in who they are, they must not be here to pick people up...that is cool, i like that. i just like to relate to people as people, as friends first and let chemistry happen based on personality more than looks...make sense?

    i don't know how other enfp's feel about it but i think that's probably how it works for me.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #82
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I think NFPs have excellent mind f**k radar. Those of use who are young, inexperienced can have that naive quality. But once we develop our perception, being highly principled folks, we tend to look upon others who manipulate people for their own amusement with little esteem. Nor do we extend to them the common courtesies we can be very generous about with others.

    Anyone who repeatedly lies to me or attempts to manipulate my emotions has lost my respect.

    I'm always surprised that someone would announce the fact as though they were proud of it!
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  3. #83
    Senior Member Rangler's Avatar
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    I know two ENFPs.

    The first is male, he's one of my best friends. He's one of the most generous and kind people I know. I recognized a long time ago I needed to learn to be more like him.

    The second is female, a former co-worker that moved away. I recently visited her for an afternoon. She is very independent and loves to learn about the world and our talks are vary interesting to me.

    I respect and value both these people and treat them well. I doubt we would still know each other if I treated them as initially prescribed.

    I perceive two schools of thought on how to get people to like you. The first strategy is to prey on others desires and fears to submit them, having them look up to you. The second is to be sincere, honest, and compelling, having them appreciate you.

    As an ENTJ I feel I have the ability to choose between the two. In my personal relationships I prefer the second strategy. My roommate, also an ENTJ, prefers the first. Both are effective.
    R[a]ngl[e]r

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rangler View Post
    I know two ENFPs.

    The first is male, he's one of my best friends. He's one of the most generous and kind people I know. I recognized a long time ago I needed to learn to be more like him.

    The second is female, a former co-worker that moved away. I recently visited her for an afternoon. She is very independent and loves to learn about the world and our talks are vary interesting to me.

    I respect and value both these people and treat them well. I doubt we would still know each other if I treated them as initially prescribed.

    I perceive two schools of thought on how to get people to like you. The first strategy is to prey on others desires and fears to submit them, having them look up to you. The second is to be sincere, honest, and compelling, having them appreciate you.

    As an ENTJ I feel I have the ability to choose between the two. In my personal relationships I prefer the second strategy. My roommate, also an ENTJ, prefers the first. Both are effective.
    Your way takes more time, but it is being yourself. This will create a healthy relationship. The other is playing with them which will create a very unhealthy relationship. The quickest thing that will put you on my bad side is using other people for your benefit. If I could I would love to be a unkown(introverted) super hero and just punish all the mean people of the world.
    Im out, its been fun

  5. #85
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Hmmm, IME you are suckers for aloofness and mystery...not expressing interest or even ignoring you seems to draw you in...but the same goes for me, really, so yeah. There's a difference between these things happening naturally out of awkwardness or feeling vulnerable or being occupied by other things for a bit and using them in a disrespectful manner, though.

    The OP is ENTJ IIRC.

  6. #86
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    Hmmm, IME you are suckers for aloofness and mystery...not expressing interest or even ignoring you seems to draw you in...but the same goes for me, really, so yeah.
    Aren't we all? Aren't we all?
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  7. #87
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Yup. But ENFPs do it in their own way.

  8. #88
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    oh because i realize it can appear that way and it may be true for some but like i said in my previous post up there is that for me...it's more about being attracted to someone who seems more discriminating or less superficial...like hey that person over there isn't just feigning interest in me because they think i'm attractive...they must be secure in who they are, they must not be here to pick people up...that is cool, i like that. i just like to relate to people as people, as friends first and let chemistry happen based on personality more than looks...make sense?
    That sounds pretty normal and healthy to me. It's not quite what I was warning against... your version seems to be a bit less 'playing with fire' than what I've seen.

  9. #89
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah...i can definitely see how some could be attracted to people that weren't good for them because we can be accepting to a fault and really like different and quirky...so you can find healthy and unhealthy versions of that.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #90
    Senior Member Rangler's Avatar
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    I tend to think people are attracted to strong people. "Assholes" and "Bitches" have strong personalities that, though unhealthy, seem to qualify them as attractive to some.
    R[a]ngl[e]r

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