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  1. #11
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Algora J View Post
    1. Criticize them about their looks, intelligence and lifestyle choices. ENFPs have a masochistic side, have low opinions of themselves and will immediately be attracted to and attach themselves to anyone who criticizes them. Ironically ENFPs will not like people who are actually respectful and nice to them. Since ENFPs are the most common type in the population, this is where all the ridiculous pop psychology books "He's just not that into you" and "The Rules" come from. These are made for the ENFP.
    First of all, ENFPs are not the most common type. Did you forget about sensors? You're also incorrect about ENFPs arbitrarily having low opinions of themselves. And the pop psychology stuff...

    2. Use them for sex. ENFPs believe sex is a sign of love, in polar opposite to the way NTs think sex is an EXPRESSION of sexual desire. Sexual desire does not necessarily equate love. However, ENFPs will hang on to a relationship as long as there is sex involved, because to them, sex IS love and what they value the most in a relationship of the opposite sex.
    Eh, I suppose this is true if the ENFP is in love with the other person. If the relationship wasn't nearly as serious, I don't think this is necessarily the case.

    3. You might be feeling guilty about hurting an ENFP, so occasionally you throw out a compliment to the ENFP. Do not do this. The ENFP will interpret that as a sign of getting back together. In their minds- the relationship never ended, and despite the fact that you showed clear signs that you did not want the relationship to continue, they will ironically, BLAME themselves for the end of the relationship and think that they were in the wrong and not a combination of you and the ENFP together that lead to the demise. The ENFP will turn over the events in her/his head over and over, and think she/he should've done something differently. So if you are in that break-up phase, don't compliment or say nice things to the ENFP, they will misinterpret this as a sign that you will get back together.
    I agree with this since ENFPs put such a priority on relationships.

    Anyhow, I think that covers most of it. ENFPs are sensitive, but they have a hard time letting go so it's best to quickly rip the band-aid off, then forever string them along.
    Not necessarily. It's probably easiest for NTs to 'quickly rip the band-aid off', but that is a motive based on self-interest, not necessarily what is best for the ENFP.

  2. #12
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    1. Criticize them about their looks, intelligence and lifestyle choices. ENFPs have a masochistic side, have low opinions of themselves and will immediately be attracted to and attach themselves to anyone who criticizes them. Ironically ENFPs will not like people who are actually respectful and nice to them. Since ENFPs are the most common type in the population, this is where all the ridiculous pop psychology books "He's just not that into you" and "The Rules" come from. These are made for the ENFP.
    Elaborate a little more on this one since I have ENFP friend and I for the most part am nice to her and she deosn't seem disrespect me. I do understand a little of what you say though because her boyfriend can be a jerk sometimes and she loves him to death.
    ENFJ 3W4

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  3. #13
    Senior Member Grayscale's Avatar
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    why do you like being so manipulative?

  4. #14
    Senior Member Leysing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Algora J View Post
    Since ENFPs are the most common type in the population
    What the -


    Quote Originally Posted by MyPersonality.info
    ENFP Population
    Total: 5.5%
    Male: 4.5%
    Female: 6.5%
    Compare

    ISTJ Population
    Total: 12%
    Male: 15.5%
    Female: 8.5%
    ESFJ Population
    Total: 10%
    Male: 6%
    Female: 14%
    ISFP Population
    Total: 9%
    Male: 8%
    Female: 10%
    Last edited by Leysing; 06-18-2008 at 02:46 PM. Reason: Grammar... :|
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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Algora J View Post
    Since ENFPs are the most common type in the population,
    You lost me right there.

    ENFPs are not even close to being the most common type in the population. That honor would go to ESFJ.

    NF's are rare. There's probably more ESFJ and ESTJ than all 4 NF types put together.

  6. #16
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I'm guessing your post was meant to be tongue-in-cheek but as you can see, didn't go over too well.

    I went to the trouble of answering your advice points in a semi-serious manner, but I'll save everyone the eye strain.

    Bottom line, it sounds more like an issue of maturity and experience than type. Some of the ENFP observations you made were inaccurate even for weak/underdeveloped/immature ENFPs so they didn't work as tongue-in-cheek humor.

    Also, ENFP males are a different breed than ENFP females. It seems ENFP females are much savvier about dating than ENFP males -- this is just from what I've read on this forum. 'F' males in a general, get a tough break, especially ENFP men. Girls and relationships seem to totally blindside them and chew them up and the learning curve is much steeper for them than ENFP females.

    The one thing that rung true was the 'puppy love can't see the writing on the wall' ENFP. It's written on the web somewhere that 'ENFPs are like textbook people when they first fall in love' and vice versa. For better or worse, people in love are *dumb* and have a hard time facing harsh reality.

    But again, it depends on the weight of the cognitive functions/letters, maturity, and experience.

    You can say across the board that 'weak/immature' people unconsciously react to things based on fear. And human beings fear being alone. So especially for an ENFP who values companionship and socialability, it can be really hard to accept rejection and move on.

    However, once a person grows and adapts and gets stronger and more able to succeed in the world, they get over their usual stumbling blocks quick.

    And the 'inability to let go' phenomena is definitely not specific to ENFPs or even 'F's -- I think this is a common problem for INTPs as well and even ISTJs exhibit this 'refusal to let go and accept the unflattering reality of people'. Depending on their cognitive functions, etc. the way and reasons a type refuses to let go of bad relationship will be different, but it's definitely not confined to 1 type or even 1 quadrant.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  7. #17
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Default How to temporarily attract the attention of an ENFP.

    ...Be so utterly devoid of common sense, reason and human intellect that they just *can't* look away.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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  8. #18
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    I'm starting to fear ENFP's.
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  9. #19
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBeatGoesOn View Post
    I'm starting to fear ENFP's.
    As you well should.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles
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  10. #20
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    I enjoyed using my ENFP wife for sex for almost 2 whole years. But I guess I complimented her too much and didn't insult her enough, because she eventually got tired of me.

    But actually, I was the one who didn't want to accept that the relationship was over, I literally begged for her to stay and not leave the family that we created, and she left anyway. Thankfully, because of my oh-so-practical SP attitude, I was able to eventually forgive her.
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