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  1. #31
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I kind of have a similar feeling, but it's more towards people who I've dealt with in the past. I tend to think each new person I meet who seems interesting is going to be a much better person, so much better than the last person I dealt with.

    And then as I deal with the whole cycle of hearing rumors about them, having them talk about me, having them behave in ways that I consider unacceptable, and just generally seeing all their flaws, I get really disgusted with them, my patience wears thin, I keep trying to forgive them but end up being unable to truly do so, and eventually just move on and start over with a new person/group. Eventually it becomes intolerable to deal with the whole mass of people and common traits I now distrust and dislike in any given community, and then I have to move to a whole new place hoping things will be better, or just stay in the same place, resentful and miserable about the past, disliking everyone and generally just complaining about them all the time. I've done the latter for years at times, more often than I'd care to admit.

    So the attitude you seem to have towards humanity in general... I have the same attitude, but towards the people I've known in the past and have been familiar with. I often have a very different attitude towards new people, and the very, very few who haven't let me down in those ways (like 3/100 or something).

    Anyway, I think that perhaps you feel this way because you're projecting past traits onto new people. You aren't really seeing them for their good or positive potential, but you're seeing how they remind you of people from the past who let you down. You're not judging them, you're judging your idea of them that's informed by a lot of bad experiences with similar people. The problem is, people who are very similar in most ways can differ in some very important, key ways that make them surprisingly tolerable or surprisingly intolerable.

    I guess what I've learned is that you have to give everyone a chance. Most of them will blow it, but you'll feel better about yourself for doing so, and you'll almost certainly find a few gems among all the junk. Think of it like digging around in a dumpster... most of what you find is filthy and disgusting, but once in a while you'll find something you treasure and wouldn't want to part with.

  2. #32
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Il Morto Che Parla View Post
    oh the irony.

    emphasis mine.
    Irony? Do elaborate.
    Jarlaxle: fact checking this thread makes me want to go all INFP on my wrists

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  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by flameskull95 View Post
    Overall, it's just this quaint feeling that things aren't going to go right with the majority of people that I encounter in life.
    INFP20wait.jpg

  4. #34
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    You may want to change location some day. I've lived in many locations, and in some places almost everyone is unpleasant to deal with, but for the first time I landed in a spot where there are a great many wonderful people. It may also have to do with how my career has evolved towards a helping profession. It has really struck me the difference in the culture of people. It is possible to find admirable people.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  5. #35
    Glycerine
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    It really does sound like your own issue.

    It seems like judging people from your idealistic standards is causing you problems because they don't meet your expectations... dismissing them too quickly. To be honest, your overall tone/attitude in your reasoning came off a bit elitist to me... unless the people really do suck. More times than not, it is a self-protective mechanism if you have been hurt in the past.

    But then again, people can suck big time and you might have not met your niche of people yet.

  6. #36
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    I agree that location and specific people someone is around can make a tremendous difference, either in a negative or positive way. Ten years ago, I was in a location I liked and a job I liked. Now, it's just the opposite. I'm still the same person. But the location and people are completely different. I tried hard to like the location and people, too. Just because things aren't working out doesn't mean there is necessarily something wrong with the person going through something. There may be other factors.

  7. #37
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    See if this applies.


  8. #38
    Senior Member Ene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flameskull95 View Post
    I'm not sure really. But is there a reason for me to have such strong and intense feelings of dislike against most people.
    The thing is, I think infps are known to be acceptant of almost anyone. The more I think about it, the less I feel my past lives up to this notion.

    I always have felt as if I had nihilistic attitudes toward people. especially people I've deemed superficial on some level... And that happens often... anyone else feel the same?
    One of my closest friends is an INFP and she tells me repeatedly that she does not like people. She can't stand superficial people. Another INFP friend of mine said he liked "people" but he was very critical and totally disliked anything that smacked of "fakeness". So, I guess I'm saying it's okay that you feel that way. Both of my friends [actually I have three INFP friends that I can think of right off the bat] all three of them feel the way you do to some extent, but they all three have certain people...only two or three...with whom they form a bond and these people serve as a refuge, a place where they can be themselves. I think if you didn't deal with this issue you would have to quesion your INFPness...hehe. My INFP female friend tells me that she dreams of putting bamboo shards in the food of "jerks", but she never has.

  9. #39
    Gone Aesthete's Avatar
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    I tend to dislike people as well; meaning not that I hate any individuals in the specific (most of the time) but that their general way of being is too simplistic and superficial for me. Life, in the way its currently displaying itself to me, doesn't suit my ideals; people are so simple in the negative sense: they mindlessly give in to the Zeitgeist of our time: vanity and materialism, Philistinism and normality. Most people today have no appreciation of real aesthetics, nor for anything; life is merely a game. "How can you not care about this?" I ask - they shrug and continue life in the same simple fashion, caring only about the next party, or who said what, or any of the other shallow things so commonly displayed these days (though I doubt this is just a modern production), all of which I think of as much ado about nothing (not a reference to Shakespeare's play).

    I think the main thing which drives me mad is this: I hear a beautiful story, I seize it and hold on to it, making it a hope for the future of humanity, with all the heroism, chivalry, romance, and selflessness. Others hear the story and say "Cool story; now back to reality."

    Consider my ideas and tell me if you think you might have the same motives.
    Great men are like eagles, and build their nest on some lofty solitude.

    Schopenhauer

  10. #40
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aesthete View Post
    I tend to dislike people as well; meaning not that I hate any individuals in the specific (most of the time) but that their general way of being is too simplistic and superficial for me. Life, in the way its currently displaying itself to me, doesn't suit my ideals; people are so simple in the negative sense: they mindlessly give in to the Zeitgeist of our time: vanity and materialism, Philistinism and normality. Most people today have no appreciation of real aesthetics, nor for anything; life is merely a game. "How can you not care about this?" I ask - they shrug and continue life in the same simple fashion, caring only about the next party, or who said what, or any of the other shallow things so commonly displayed these days (though I doubt this is just a modern production), all of which I think of as much ado about nothing (not a reference to Shakespeare's play).

    I think the main thing which drives me mad is this: I hear a beautiful story, I seize it and hold on to it, making it a hope for the future of humanity, with all the heroism, chivalry, romance, and selflessness. Others hear the story and say "Cool story; now back to reality."

    Consider my ideas and tell me if you think you might have the same motives.
    Sorry I didn't see this before, urm well..
    I guess there's something like that. To be honest, I think it's really just the general mixture of predisposed feelings and issues I had with people in general. I think this may have been more easily adapted to once I recognized a part of me that wanted to make false ideals, - reality. And dreamy expectations - goals of some sort. And then I would think that I reached them or that if I couldn't I would be worthless. This makes me question whether I'm a 4w3 sometimes... but I philosophize my life, minimizing self image waay too much for me to not be 4w5. Other than that, I can't relate to how most 4w3s go about things on this forum and stuff, and I think I've met a couple of 4w3 people as well that I find hard relating to in their approach to self-image expression or whatever. It seems trivial to me to please people with a self image so easily destroyed.

    I can relate to the unrequited emotions, that some people can give off, and I think that's mainly what you were talking about when it came to trying to communicate a 'story' to other people. This happens to me all the time, and it surprises me that it even happens to people that I mentally classify as being able to 'understand' that stuff.

    But I think my issue was mainly one where the feelings were more 'predisposed' rather than rationally thought out. Like a part of me, deep inside, couldn't view human interactions as something that benefits anything. I think 'Nihilism' describes this perfectly. But I guess this feeling occasionally comes and goes like the wind. I was just wondering what another person's insight would be of this.
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

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