Once an INFJ guy has broken up with you, is it possible to win him back? How do you do it?
Is it possible, once they've told you they no longer feel attracted except physically/don't feel they are in a psychological place to be in a serious relationship because they are going abroad for a year next year? We are both living at our parent's houses. He is employed and I am looking for work. He told me to move on and that he only cares as friends, and I handled the breakup really badly. However he was so indecisive during our protracted 2 month separation I feel like maybe I could win him back...
It was my first real relationship and unfortunately I made a lot of mistakes. I lashed out at him during stressful times and hurt him. I acted very clingy and controlling. I was very insecure and felt like he was too good for me which I think led to my terrible behavior. (I have a lot of issues with emotional intimacy due to my upbringing). I was codependent and lost myself while dating him..my self-esteem tanked. I became someone I wasn't..
Part of it though was that he stressed me out with his constant talk of not being able to commit more than "day by day" due to his job situation, as well as him talking about/crying about his ex who broke his heart. It made me feel not good enough and that if I tried harder/were a better girlfriend he would act more invested in the relationship.
We are still friends though, and he's been supporting me through a very bad period in my life. I want nothing more than to win him back... now that I've had some time I am kicking myself over how i acted and the mistakes i made. I am slowly getting better and when we hang out it feels like there might still be some attraction there in him...but I am noticing that I am the one doing all the initiating.
He has a lot of female friends though, and to be honest every time I talk to him, it feels good for a bit but then the next day I feel the aftermath. But how can I get him back if I'm not his friend? I've decided to stop messaging him for now.
I'm trying to date a new infj but I feel this compulsion to hang on. I've never met someone like him in my life and I was completely in love for the first time. He is literally the perfect person for me and I can't handle the idea of having lost him due to my behavior...