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  1. #21
    Member RoadPaveMent's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    Yes to nearly all of the above (in the opening post). For me it's more of a sudden thing; I'll get angry with someone and completely not care about their feelings anymore. I'll still empathize, but not sympathize. And I don't feel bad about it because it's what they deserve. I'm a very accommodating person and if someone pushes me that far it's their problem.
    I think that's a good way to put it. I can get upset over anyone's pain but that doesn't mean I care.
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  2. #22
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Clinical depression can do the trick. Basically, if my own mental processes are too overloaded with my own problems then there isn't room to feel other people's experience.

    I've looked back on some posts I made when clinically depressed and occasionally cringe at the lack of empathy or Fe, or however you want to define it. I was accidentally insulting and rude, but not because I was angry at the other person, I just couldn't calculate their perspective into my own. Good experience overall, because the longer I live, the more I learn to cut other people some slack.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #23
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    There have been instances where I wish I could turn off my empathy, but that lightswitch simply doesn't exist in my mental framework. It's there no matter what, but if the situation has become toxic, in some way, I will be less apt to directly express that empathy, or much else, in that regard, so I don't end up inadvertently feeding a mutually unhealthy dynamic. This has only been under extreme circumstances, though.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  4. #24
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Failure.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  5. #25
    Anew Leaf
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    The typo in the title makes me lose empathy.

    (I wish I was kidding.)

  6. #26
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    I'm not NF, but for me realizing I've been lied to/manipulated, or that someone is trying to, causes complete emotional detachment.
    Yup. I'm not NF either, but this is about where I draw the line.

  7. #27
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    When people reject reasonable actions for the sake of tradition and 'how things have always been', it really makes me cold to other people's beliefs. It makes me feel like there is no real 'give and take' in society. So I guess it makes me lose empathy for other people and I put on my Te-bull horns. Though I guess that's in response to other people losing empathy, cause they're denying reason for tradition.
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

  8. #28
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    I'm not NF, but for me realizing I've been lied to/manipulated, or that someone is trying to, causes complete emotional detachment.
    Actually this has a similar effect on me, especially if the emotional manipulation attempts to play with vulnerability. It's one of the few things that can enrage me, especially if I see it happening to people I care about. I usually withdraw for fear that I will tear them to shreds, but then gain the sweet distance of pure apathy.

    My own nuclear family was pretty inept with manipulation, but they were pretty vulnerable, so we met plenty of horrid people with tactics. Sometimes I can cut people slack, like I have a friend who was raped within an inch of her life and now has cancer. She is strongly religious and feels anger is wrong. Well, as a result she can be fairly passive aggressive, but i support that behavior because it is her healthiest option. I also grew up with a single mother and older sister, so I saw most all the emotional tactics attempted to control responses- ESPECIALLY the pity and guilt approach, oh and the dismissal and attacks on self-esteem. When I see that shit I want to vomit on the person, sucker punch them, and then requisition a spine and/or a set of balls for them. Their choice.

    /rant

    Hey, this is my new year's resolution. Yay
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  9. #29
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia
    I've looked back on some posts I made when clinically depressed and occasionally cringe at the lack of empathy or Fe, or however you want to define it. I was accidentally insulting and rude, but not because I was angry at the other person, I just couldn't calculate their perspective into my own. Good experience overall, because the longer I live, the more I learn to cut other people some slack.
    Yes, when I’m feeling horrible I lose perspective- and I’ve found a couple posts myself that have really embarrassed me. And it was an eye opening experience for me as well. A peculiar and handy thing about foruming is the objective record of interaction- it can be revisited and viewed as if from a third perspective (if enough time has passed), and I’ve noticed things that I wouldn’t otherwise realize about the way I interact; if I do it in the forum, it’s likely I do it outside the forum as well, so it’s good to see.

    Those are isolated incidences though, that have more to do with being in a horrible space myself than anything the other person did. For the most part, it’s like others have mentioned- it just shuts itself off when I start feeling taken for granted or lied to/manipulated somehow.

    Something I’m working on is having firmer boundaries- getting to a point where I can spot it earlier and be assertive about my boundaries without ever really having the empathy shut off. It takes a certain amount of contempt to build up for empathy to shut off, and I don’t like the residual contempt I’m left with. It takes way to long to sort through that and get it out of my system (it’s the thing that leads me to snap at people who don’t deserve it, too). I’d prefer never having that accumulate in the first place.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

    5w4 sx/sp Johari / Nohari

  10. #30
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Actually this has a similar effect on me, especially if the emotional manipulation attempts to play with vulnerability. It's one of the few things that can enrage me, especially if I see it happening to people I care about. I usually withdraw for fear that I will tear them to shreds, but then gain the sweet distance of pure apathy.

    My own nuclear family was pretty inept with manipulation, but they were pretty vulnerable, so we met plenty of horrid people with tactics. Sometimes I can cut people slack, like I have a friend who was raped within an inch of her life and now has cancer. She is strongly religious and feels anger is wrong. Well, as a result she can be fairly passive aggressive, but i support that behavior because it is her healthiest option. I also grew up with a single mother and older sister, so I saw most all the emotional tactics attempted to control responses- ESPECIALLY the pity and guilt approach, oh and the dismissal and attacks on self-esteem. When I see that shit I want to vomit on the person, sucker punch them, and then requisition a spine and/or a set of balls for them. Their choice.

    /rant

    Hey, this is my new year's resolution. Yay
    This, pretty much, specially at the bold. Like, even if I may have had the will to be supportive, when I start seeing them resorting to those tactics, I just start loosing whichever respect I had for them. I mean, if I really care, I'll cut them some slack and try to point it out, but if they consciously make that choice, then that's their prerogative, and at that point I cannot in plain conscience justify to actually continue caring and giving this person my time/energy, because it's like they are dismissing my efforts opting for the easiest way out, when I was actually willing to sticking around and walk with them through it, and it's disrespectful/insulting and hurtful, showing they never cared but for themselves.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

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