User Tag List

First 123

Results 21 to 25 of 25

  1. #21
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,742

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    This almost exactly for me too.
    ^^

    I'd add that while I hate conflict, I wish for issues to be resolved- if I see a pattern that's going to continue, longterm, it needs to be discussed & dealt with, if & whenever possible. The sooner the better, in most cases, providing both parties are calm/receptive.
    "Conflict" is not always synonymous with "fight," in my mind. This approach will always depend on the individuals involved, and the context of the situation at hand, of course.


    @the OP - I think a lot of the denial/defensiveness is coming from an perpetuating dysfunctional family dynamic.. it's a cycle that's hard to break, and potentially independent of type, entirely, as it will occur with other types, as well, under similar circumstances. There's something feeding the behavior, some core there that needs to be examined, if that makes sense.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  2. #22
    Ginkgo
    Guest

    Default

    I think 90% of the time, I am unaware of my emotions; they seem to cause and inhibit more rational trains of thought on general self-awareness. I'm more likely to keep emotions under wraps unless they are actually pertinent, and I'm probably never going to actually rationalize them for someone unless I perceive the conditions are extremely trustworthy.

  3. #23
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    @ladymish

    I wouldn't call these examples of "dishonesty", because I don't really think it's anyone's responsibility to share their emotions. They can be very private and personal. I've never met an NF who experiences difficulty expressing emotion, but I've met plenty who dislike doing so.

    Example with the ENFP may very well be him acknowledging that he knows he should feel happy for her, and trying to express that. It's a weird conflict of her being on his mind because he's obsessed but also his rational side realizing that he can't really objectively fault her. So he talks about her to vent his emotions and tries to convince himself that he's okay, even though he's not. But he knows he should be. But he's not.

    As for the INFPs, they're probably enneagram 9s. It's not an NF thing. I approach conflict the same way you do, getting it over with ASAP.

    wouldn't it be better to try and actually work it out rather than letting it happen over and over? These conflicts really upset me and everyone involved, I don't understand why they aren't willing to help do their part to try and resolve it. Or resolve some of it. or at least clear up misunderstandings (of which I assume there are many because humans = complex).
    Yes... though what I've learned is with 9s it's easier to approach situations during peacetime in a gentle, constructive way. Saying, I feel like _____ is creating conflict for us, maybe we could try _______, instead of being more blunt. Counterintuitively, the less you push, the more progress you will make.

  4. #24
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Yàlls are probably right that this is less a type thing and more a bunch-of-effed-up-people thing. Ha ha. I have a very hard time giving up on a situation, and it depresses me to do so, but I`m not sure there`s any other option here. Communication seems virtually impossible between us.

    I wouldn't call these examples of "dishonesty", because I don't really think it's anyone's responsibility to share their emotions. They can be very private and personal. I've never met an NF who experiences difficulty expressing emotion, but I've met plenty who dislike doing so.
    No, no one *has* to share their emotions on demand. But to me "I'm not sad" from someone who very clearly is is simply dishonesty. "I don't want to discuss how I feel right now" would not be dishonest, imo.

    Example with the ENFP may very well be him acknowledging that he knows he should feel happy for her, and trying to express that. It's a weird conflict of her being on his mind because he's obsessed but also his rational side realizing that he can't really objectively fault her. So he talks about her to vent his emotions and tries to convince himself that he's okay, even though he's not. But he knows he should be. But he's not.
    I suspect you're mostly right about this. It still sort of intrigues me, tho. I would definitely answer "yes I'm jealous and it's bothering the eff out of me" asked the same question in the same situation. I've been there, it sucks, denying it didn't help (me) at all. When i first knew this guy he came across as quite emotionally open and I'm not saying he isn't that, I don't think, but he shows a definite tendency to want to shun and/or deny any emotions he feels might not reflect well on him. Maybe it's his age, he is 23, I dunno.

  5. #25
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    2,900

    Default

    Personally, I close up when it comes to emotions. I have them, I know them, I feel them, etc... but it's rare I'll actually have open discussion with them. It's rare that I'll let anyone who even asks about them get anywhere closer than an "It's nothing" or "All good". For me, it's the fact that I can't handle having other people in my emotional business because it is such a tender spot in my existence. If someone gets their grubby paws in there- they can throw everything off balance.
    Beyond that, I am a big fan of rationalization vs emotions. Huge fan of how something can be viewed in many different lights, especially emotional lights. Within that it becomes easy to neglect the emotional for rational reasoning and the rational for emotional reasoning. My biggest conflict is that I am typically neglecting for the wrong team, when I should be embracing for the other.

    I'm not sure if this runs true of many other NFs or if perhaps it is just a "Me" thing. I guess it's best to see if you can get to the tick tock of the NF's you're dealing with, but without getting all up in their stuffing-fluff.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] NF and ADD
    By GZA in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 02-06-2011, 06:46 AM
  2. [NF] NF's and reading people, social settings and emotions
    By alcea rosea in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 86
    Last Post: 08-29-2010, 11:09 AM
  3. [INFP] NFs and pride, conflict, attitude?
    By Cindyrella in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 12-27-2008, 07:23 AM
  4. [NF] NFs(maybe SFs too?) and "emotional absorption"
    By Dwigie in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 68
    Last Post: 08-30-2008, 10:25 PM
  5. Replies: 29
    Last Post: 07-16-2007, 01:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO