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  1. #1
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Default Fe/Fi and inferiority complexes

    So, I've been wondering about this...

    A lot of people suffer from inferiority complexes - thinking you're not as good as other people, that you're a burden or a bother to them, that you have nothing to offer, etc. Feelings of envy or resentment, as well as depressive states, may follow. Of course, this isn't necessarily permanent or anything, but it can linger for long periods of time.

    Well, here's the thing... Sometimes it seems as if strong Fi users don't really suffer from these complexes, even if they suffer from depression (clinical or otherwise) or are extremely shy. It often sounds, to me, as if they're aware of their own worth, but that they're afraid other people might reject or misunderstand them. In other words, the sorrow comes from them feeling as if no one understands or accepts them, rather than from suspecting their own worthlessness or feeling as if they need to "validate their existence" (or, for that matter, feeling as if they lack a self). That, mind you, doesn't mean I think of them as conceited or self-satisfied; I know for a fact the healthy ones are always open to developing themselves.

    Basically, then: is this sort of "internalized worthlessness" more common among Fe types than Fi types? Is there no correlation at all and I'm only seeing things?
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  2. #2
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I'm not sure how to comment on that directly, but it did trigger comparisons in my head to Ti vs Te, to evaulate whether there is a similar parallel between Te failing at a task (and thus revealing itself to be incompetent / inadequate) vs Ti failing. Ti can get into a snit because others might not recognize the value of its ideas, but never really doubts its ideas if they conceptually hang together. I'm not sure if Te has the same resilience in the face of repeated external failure(s)...

    ... still thinking.

    Anyway, theoretically, the same patterns should be in play.
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  3. #3
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    Studying function order, I bred this to be a problem of Si/Ni+Fe users.


    Yes, I think it common among IXFJ's.

  4. #4
    Glycerine
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    I have an internal struggle with that. It's usually between, "OMG, I am such a b****... I hope the person doesn't hate me" and "Screw you.... I am going to do it my own way... you're a moron" at the same time (dramatic flair, of course... ).

    It makes sense though because Je is geared more towards EXTERNAL standards while Ji geared more towards INTERNAL standards.

  5. #5
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    Yes, I think it common among IXFJ's.
    I agree with this. O:

    From personal experience, my INFP friend struggles with finding a sense of self-worth. She enters abusive, possessive, & exclusive relationships with people because it makes her feel needed. Even when my friend and I tell her we love her and need her, she still repeats this cycle. Although recently she's been getting better after I got mad at her and called her self-destructive... Yay! Guess it was like some sort of wake up call. This isn't Fe or IxFJ, but still relevant. O:

    My INFJ friend also struggles with this feeling of worthlessness, but it's usually less self-worth and more just identity confusion in general. .o. He tries to copy my sense of fashion, the way I act, my sexuality (I gave him a lecture about the difference between relationship preferences and physical attraction after that), the way I talk, what I'm interested in, etc. He's the middle child, too and his siblings are much more defined than he is. So he definitely has issues revolving around his sense of self-worth/self in general.

    Also my ESFJ friend wasn't able to play lacrosse last year due to an injury, and she felt insecure about it as well. D: She was unable to support her team via playing alongside them so she felt a bit worthless. This wasn't as severe though since she's pretty optimistic in general, and she doesn't let this stuff build up inside her since she likes to talk about her problems with me.

    So I can see Fe users encountering these issues more! But this is pure speculation on my part.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Interesting... Looks like I was on to something.

    Of course, trauma and abuse can really warp someone's psyche, so it's not a hard and fast rule, but it seems to me that Fi (or Ji) users struggle more with issues of expression and acceptance while Fe (or Je) users struggle more with issues of selfhood, boundaries and validation. Is that correct?

    (By that system, it does look like I'm an IxFJ after all...)
    Tentative typing: ISFJ 6w5 or 9w1 (Sp/S[?]).

  7. #7
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Yea, Sounds about right. My Fi just cares about being understood, the ideas are still the same. My Te gets angry to cover up the hurt that my idea failed...or whatever example you wanna use. Cause it cares about external validation, while Fi just keeps walking by.

    Te users don't seem to SHOW that they care though.

    Fe does.
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    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    To the OP, I identify more with your descriptor of Fi-ers; I'm not sure that I've ever felt utterly inferior - at least my core sense of self. I only feel stunted in some social/group situations, and I can feel really alone when I don't feel I connect well with anyone.
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  9. #9
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I'm not sure how to comment on that directly, but it did trigger comparisons in my head to Ti vs Te, to evaulate whether there is a similar parallel between Te failing at a task (and thus revealing itself to be incompetent / inadequate) vs Ti failing. Ti can get into a snit because others might not recognize the value of its ideas, but never really doubts its ideas if they conceptually hang together. I'm not sure if Te has the same resilience in the face of repeated external failure(s)...
    I can tell you from repeated personal experience that your instinct is correct. Te failing at a task over and over means that Te can't do the task, that Te can never do the task, that Te is worthless at everything relating to the task... insert downward thought spiral here. And it gets especially bad if Fi links into it too, i.e. if you feel like you've violated your own code of conduct by being unable to do the task. There's never a loss of identity, like @Viridian was suggesting with Fe, but there is a loss of confidence to the point of losing identity, if you identify yourself based on your skills.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    My INFP friend has pretty strong inferiority complex about rational/logical thinking. It doesent help that our friend circle since 7th grade was him, me, INTJ(currently his roommate and, well INTJs can be pretty damn demanding on others doing things to their standards, in which the INFP fails all the time and gets to hear about it) and ENTP, and later he became good friends with two ESTJs(one still his friend, but doesent hang out with him often). He has other friends too, but not very close to them. Also hes on pretty strong psyche meds, which also doesent help much.. He has difficult time learning things and doesent want to push his limits at all in developing himself(except now he quitted smoking and is trying to eat more healthy and lose weight, for like 10th time this year, but doing better now than with his earlier attempts, which made him feel like a failure for not being able to resist urges of eating crap).
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