ok, thank you for clarifying.
what kind of "animal" are we facing.
but i think that in going to the generalized principle (freedom of interaction), your missing what - at least to the extent that i am identifying - the described sense of disillusionment described by the INFPs here is attributed to.
the conversations that brought that about, describing INFP needs and INFJ needs, basically looked like a gridlock. in Fi world, to the extent that i can understand it, the answers they were being given kept to "vibe" of "my way or the highway" to the extreme of "everything has to be my way or the highway".
that's being said, i don't think you need Fi to understand it:
there is an apparent gridlock on a very fundamental level, where the seeds and the water are never allowed to touch.
basically, the skeleton of the messages gotten seem to be this:
this gridlock seems to be on such a fundamental level, that any suggestion of accommodation after this as long as they accommodate these simple requests, it's sort of like you are saying "i would totally work with you on the garden once the seeds grow, as long as you agree to do so without water".
- "no, I won't accept your thoughts because they don't fit into the conclusion I am trying to make".
- "what you think your own intentions are is irrelevant, I am right about what you think for my own purposes".
- "you have to understand my perspective about why all your perspectives don't matter".
- "if what you say doesn't fit with what i want to hear, you aren't credible and i don't need to hear what you have to say".
it works on the Fe level, because this way you don't look bad for not being willing to grow anything and are just standing for your rights to agree on the chemical composition of the terrain, but on the Ti level, the rationality behind it breaks down completely.
so i am trying to understand whether the skeletal messages sharing the common theme are there, or is this some sort of massive communication breakdown?
if it is, then i am wondering whether the gridlock can be broken, and i suspect it can be. my reasoning being that it looks very much like the perfect recipe for cooking the tin man. assuming that this isn't some unavoidable fate of every INFJ, then clearly there has to be ways to break it.