the only unintended casualty cases which i found to be curious where @fia and @SilkRoad - in both cases i found the response interesting precisely because they outlined the negative expectation much earlier then i could expect:
Originally Posted by cascadeco
inform them that they have conducted themselves in a way which has wronged me one way or another, and the result is a raging and prideful statement of how kind and harmless they are and how you are delusional to believe you've being hurt, and thought i should be remorseful for the act of informing them otherwise.
i am happy that i didn't allow it to steer me and i kept the benefit of my doubt, but the perfection in which it fitted the mold was uncanny.
the interesting thing for me is that it puts my wife in a much more positive light - is that in something that small as taking responsibility for a verbal offense or causing frustration in her conduct in a discussion, especially with a complete stranger, my ex's ego would be able to handle easily, at least back in her better days. relatively to that, acknowledging the reality that the consequences of momentary rage and some errors in judgement is being destructive for your child and is continuously destructive to a man you once loved and wanted to do good by, is freaking huge. in that context, she's failing to run the marathon, they failed to walk a block.
like i said, no bridges where built where the fire would spread, and honestly there was a lot more revealing information in the reactionary behavior and conclusions they came too then in the confessions.
Originally Posted by PeaceBaby
my current filtering problem - which i don't expect help with but might as well share for the benefit of a warning - after understanding the deeper dynamic, it's clear that the "SWAT team" doesn't represent most INFJs:
imagine if you will a group of ENTPs just tell each other how awesome all of their Ne ideas are, how they should just trust that all their ideas are practical and screw the consequences, and how fun it is to manipulate people and screw the needs and desires of their Fe from ever standing in the way, and how anyone who expects otherwise just doesn't get them. i am not saying its impossible, i've being told that in the past it's being the case, and i am happy i wasn't here to see it, since it's clear that those ENTPs wouldn't be putting each other in a very healthy position, that would be using the MBTI for affirmation to tell themselves that they don't need to grow rather then the potential MBTI has for growth, reducing each other to limited double function people.
this is the apparent dynamic of the INFJ SWAT team, one where they have being under the influence of each other in doing so for what is quite possibly years. most INFJs you'd meet - online or in real life - aren't going to have that influence, in fact they are the least likely of any type to have such an influence. as a result, the information they give and - more importantly - demonstrate, has to be filtered appropriately.