without common ground, and without clearly bounding the perceptions we share, it's difficult to talk about features of a type.
so i guess i feel like this is a negotiation about the negotiation that often happens with nfps. and it's not an inherent flaw to work with this different methodology, because this too needs to be negotiated.
at the same time, i am trying really hard to establish that the perspective of Fi is highly valued and grounding for me. it is able to help me see exactly what you say, the specific effects on others in an informing style that allows you to simply experience their own illustration of their own experience. Ti does want to pick leverage points, identify the principle factors, however, and it can be difficult for us to read you when you do prefer an informing style that is more embodied rather than a pointed answer to a pointed question. i'm consistently surprised that one of my best friends, an infp 4w5 so/sx, often sees ways of modifying behavior that would be enormously helpful to me but says nothing, or says something in a way that i do not see. i just want to be like, you're a good friend! you have not only rights but responsibilities to say something obviously helpful! be more directive, dammit! (probably one area i have an easier time with 9w1 infps than 4w5s). explain the reason! identify how to control the change, not just stay with all the consequences of these continual fuckups! sure i'll learn the lesson, but you already know it, so just share it! teach! sometimes it's worth it to bring to light a negative effect on a variety of people and on myself that will lead to me being hurt, my identity being bruised, etc, when it's for the greater good. i don't think the informing style is everything. it doesn't supply the ethics in and of itself. it is a way you have mastered being ethical, but not the only way. it too has its flaws, for it is best at seeing only at certain scales of activity. it protects the experiences of individuals in spaces over the spaces themselves. constraints are not evil just because you have not been able to experience their full process of emergence. this is the cultural knowledge that we share, that organizes us without our knowing, that binds us so that we can focus awareness in other ways. but infjs and Ni types focus on updating the cultural knowledge that seems circular and tautological and is harder to diagnose causally because we exist through it as much as it exists through us. focusing our attention on that makes us reflexive in some ways that are highly costly to us and others in other ways. but it doesn't just make us wrong. it makes us flawed and incomplete and dependent on others just like everyone else.
but regardless of this, we do go through phases when it feels like it's controlling me in ways that are not fair to the rules and understanding of my own worldview. when we feel judged, dismissed, as if our perspective as we experience it is less important than the way the other person renders the context and defines the situation.
because what prevents us from being what you want is partly a limitation of type and partly a swing to the bad side of what we can be. falling down the levels of health. when you feel depressed, do you not lash out at others more? do you not forget how to give? or appreciation what you have been given? i feel like when we lose balance, we lose some degree of control over our behavior. and then the blindspots are more obvious and less integrated. we lose our well-being.
i think the imbalance also comes from the instincts. so types favoring the group too much at the expense of the marginal experiences. sx types favoring their own self-aggrandizement and self-directed leadership over the wishes of others. and sp types denying that others have needs at all in order to stabilize their own situation.