hmm, question: is it possible that some of the behaviors described are related to a particular way Ni>Fe will deal with early onset of low self esteem?
see, i just remembered something my ex talked about a long time ago, that in her adolescence she thought - or rather "just knew" - that was able to read that the other girls around her didn't like her and saw something as fundamentally wrong with her, despite not being "honest enough" to openly express it or even to openly socially reject her for it or provide her with any confirmation, she "just knew". even as an adult there was little doubt in her mind that it was the case.
i was thinking about the information thing. i've seen both INFPs and INFJs that won't give clear information for what i suspect are different reasons. with INFPs i think it's Te which can sometimes be very impatient about figuring out the relevancy of information and won't divulge it because they don't associate it with the goals in mind in the first place. with INFJs i think it is that they are used to not knowing how they figured something out in the first place, so explaining it is a bit like trying to reverse engineer your own thoughts. both cases can seem manipulative without being such.
so now i am wondering, is it possible that the process of Ni provides projections with the best camouflage?
i imagine that if you are habitually used to having all sort of conclusions about what others think that you can't quite explain or know how you've reached, so then when your mind is projecting a deep seeded assumptions about ourselves onto others, it won't necessarily be experienced any differently. an emotional-wolf in mental-sheep's clothing.