[NF] INFPs, what do INFJs do that drives you nuts?

[PeaceBaby]

Honestly, not even that -- your reaction to it is the same as mine, but having that reaction doesn't disturb me.

It's more that the reaction disturbs my inner world I think ... it's like a rock dropped into the inner world somehow, the ripples persist. I know that sounds kind of dramatic, but I hear what you're saying about that reaction not disturbing your outer or inner world. Since a lot of Je lasts mention that they feel pressured or judged with point-blank questions, I don't think I'm alone in that.

And p.s. (sorry, I'm so bad with the afterthoughts) -- a "normal" actual response would be "Yes," "No," "It's next on my To Do list," or "It slipped my mind! Thanks for the reminder."

Yes, that's what I remind myself.

I may be overstepping and I apologize in advance if so, but this concern seems to indicate a desire on your part to appear in control to an extent that might not be possible for mere humans. That's my impression. I mean, I could see a reasonableness on the part of the questioner that at least some of the time you would know right off hand what they were referring to, but expecting you to always know what they're talking about immediately, especially if you are otherwise occupied when they ask you, seems like a lot to ask.

Well, it's not about a desire to appear in control. If that were the case, I'd take a different approach and just have the To Do list out and in front - being proactive about deflecting those types of questions would be the best offense. Since I'm not naturally super-organizationally-inclined, keeping the list in my mind, I would just take a full-on approach instead, relieving myself of the mental burden.

And if somebody's giving you shit for it, they need to stop. IMO. Unless you have never done the thing you said you would, and you never know what they are talking about. But even then, there are ways to help yourself and it's not disastrous.

Thanks

Also, and I say this with the hugest respect, your inner world seems to have a lot of hot spots, some of which are maybe created by unrealistic expectations of yourself or perhaps by having been treated harshly for being human, I don't know, but I just put it out there fwiw. (And I know it's true of myself as well)

My inner world is an interesting place atm ... so much processing and new growth going on, so many changes. More stuff than is really relevant to the thread, but thank you for your sharing that and for caring enough to give voice to what you feel. I'm not offended by it in the least.

 

[cafe]

thought so - just me being a bit NeFe.



though if i might ask - and feel free to tell me to shove it off if it's too personal - how would those situations change when it is your husband and children?

It's not too personal, but it is a little obtuse. I think I have said over and over again that my immediate family gets a pass because they have a legitimate claim on my time.

FWIW, even at twenty-one I was smart enough not to marry a guy who was full of shit. As far as the kids go, I'm not saying they never try to pull stuff, part of being a kid is learning what you can and can't get away with, but they appear to be a decent, honest bunch as best I can tell. They are all teenagers now so they tend to call each other on their crap, except on those rare occasions when they are in cahoots, usually in attempt to get us to order pizza or increase their soda ration.

My husband and I have always made an effort to present a united front to the kids, which I think has largely eliminated attempts to screw with us in a major and/or habitual way.

 

[sorenx7]

You make us sound so nit-picky

The thing is, if someone said to me, I'm looking for apples with mostly red skin, I would probably lay off and help them. The thing is the Ni+Fe statements are even more cryptic than that to me.


Interesting.


And Ne users wonder why the Ni-users close the drawbridge and then leave this tiny, hidden door around the back unlocked, when it's so hard to find. It feels like a test we're bound to fail.

I like your apple analogy and I'd like to offer another of my own of what it feels like on the other side of that.

To me Ni+Fe posts are like treasure maps. They give us a vague outline of an island with an x marking the spot. However, the details are scant, there is no scale, the direction of north is not indicated, and many features that would help to orient us seem to be unmarked. The INFJ then drop us on of top of the mountain in the middle of the island and says to point out where the treasure will be.

INFP: Well, I don't know. All I can do is guess from the few clues you've given me where it might be. I suppose it could be under that large palm tree way over there.
INFJ: WRONG! STUPID! You don't know anything. It's actually 3 feet to the left of that.
INFP: Jeez, give me a break. You made me speculate with very little to go on and actually I got pretty close in the end. Surely, I deserve a little credit for that.
INFJ: But the point was to find the treasure and if you dug in that spot, you wouldn't find it.
INFP: But if you had given me the chance I would have gone over there and examined the area around the big palm tree. I would have looked for possible markings, or signs that something has been buried recently, or that something was being been concealed. If there weren't any signs I would dig around in that area until I came across the treasure. I would have found it eventually.
INFJ: The point was to work it out straight away and you didn't. This makes you a bad treasure hunter.
INFP:

Your treasure map description is 100% accurate. Anyone writing a book on this subject would find it difficult to find any example better than this one.

 

[_eric_]

Just do this and you'll be set!

lol personally though, I wouldn't do it like that description, I have no problem with giving out clues, and adding more as needed if they are having trouble.

 

[011235813]

I hate how INFJs are all high and mighty and more emotionally aware than thou but they don't actually even give a shit, I was watching this movie and I was legitimately upset about it but [MENTION=5159]Lexicon[/MENTION] just laughed at me and then she said she didn't care about the movie, just getting a reaction out of me, what is this, some sick joke?

 

[011235813]

P.S. She once tried to buy me off with a bar of chocolate. I ate it but I was not fooled by her Ni-Fe mindfuckery.

 

[1487610420]

I hate how INFJs are all high and mighty and more emotionally aware than thou but they don't actually even give a shit, I was watching this movie and I was legitimately upset about it but @Lexicon just laughed at me and then she said she didn't care about the movie, just getting a reaction out of me, what is this, some sick joke?

D'aw pooor senza. Dont' let that INFJ bully upset you, she's a vile broken person. The nerve!

 

[Lexicon]

I hate how INFJs are all high and mighty and more emotionally aware than thou but they don't actually even give a shit, I was watching this movie and I was legitimately upset about it but [MENTION=5159]Lexicon[/MENTION] just laughed at me and then she said she didn't care about the movie, just getting a reaction out of me, what is this, some sick joke?

I hate how INFPs take themselves so seriously - ffs IT WAS A MOVIE. A MOVIE MADE BY SETH MACFARLANE.
Hypersensitive much?

Take a joke already, willya.

 

[Lexicon]

P.S. She once tried to buy me off with a bar of chocolate. I ate it but I was not fooled by her Ni-Fe mindfuckery.

Isn;t that a bit hypocritical to precious, precious Fi authenticity ?

 

[011235813]

I hate how INFPs take themselves so seriously - ffs IT WAS A MOVIE. A MOVIE MADE BY SETH MACFARLANE.
Hypersensitive much?

Take a joke already, willya.

You think you're so open minded but you can't actually tolerate any point of view that's different than yours.

 

[1487610420]

I hate how INFPs take themselves so seriously - ffs IT WAS A MOVIE. A MOVIE MADE BY SETH MACFARLANE.
Hypersensitive much?

Take a joke already, willya.

Good grief, take a look at yourself woman, your social skillz are discusting. You should be ashamed of urself.

ETA: I think INFP Senza is better than INFJ Lexicon. There I said it!!!

 

[Lexicon]

You think you're so open minded but you can't actually tolerate any point of view that's different than yours.

No, no, I'm totally accepting of the fact that you let a talking bear movie get under your skin.

Just.. surprised.. that's all.

 

[011235813]

Isn;t that a bit hypocritical to precious, precious Fi authenticity ?

You don't understand the first thing about Fi and it's a waste of time trying to explain it to you 'cause you don't give a crap anyway, do you.

 

[1487610420]

FWIW, MY Fi is 80%. So there.

 

[Lexicon]

You don't understand the first thing about Fi and it's a waste of time trying to explain it to you 'cause you don't give a crap anyway, do you.

If I didn't care, I'd never ask..

 

[011235813]

No, no, I'm totally accepting of the fact that you let a talking bear movie get under your skin.

Just.. surprised.. that's all.

That talking bear is a symbol for everything that's wrong with millennial men, I'm surprised your magical Ni didn't pick up on it. Of course, man children don't really bother you, I guess, so whatever.

 

[Lexicon]

That talking bear is a symbol for everything that's wrong with millennial men, I'm surprised your magical Ni didn't pick up on it. Of course, man children don't really bother you, I guess, so whatever.

Sure.. that very well may be.. but it's presented in the form of a COMEDY film. It's not expected to be taken so seriously. You talk about high horses.. what do you call this degree of self righteous indignation..

over.. A BEER GUZZLING, WOMANIZING CGI BEAR.

 

[011235813]

Sure.. that very well may be.. but it's presented in the form of a COMEDY film. It's not expected to be taken so seriously. You talk about high horses.. what od you call this degree of self righteous indignation..

over.. A BEER GUZZLING, WOMANIZING CGI BEAR.

You are so rude and dismissive of anything that you didn't come up with yourself. INFJs are totally unwilling to learn.

 

[Lexicon]

You are so rude and dismissive of anything that you didn't come up with yourself. INFJs are totally unwilling to learn.

 

[011235813]

Classic INFJ evasionary tactics. Anyway, the kettle in this pic is kinda cute. Figures that the INFJ would make themselves out to be the cuter one.