remorse in my case isn't about words, it's about stopping what she is doing.
i don't give a shit about the marriage, haven't in a long time, i do wonder at times what went wrong, trying to grasp how she is capable of doing this, but the reasons barely hold, the fact she would do this makes me disgusted at myself that i was ever foolish enough to have loved someone like that.
first, she blackmails me with threats to lie to immigration in order to throw me out of the country.
then, whenever he asks why did daddy leave, she repeatedly tells him he was abandoned by me.
last, she refused any request to see him on skype or talk to him, and any attempts of dialogue on the matter.
my mind asks what will the seed grow into, and i know how loosing her father and all of her step fathers, who may have genuinely abandoned her (unless this behavior goes through the generations), is what stripped her off her self esteem in the first place, it's what lead to sabotage and cheating behaviors when ever fear of intimacy overrun her. she never developed the emotional tools to heal from that, to cope with that, where is he going to learn such tools from? he is such a sensitive boy, he see's meaning very vividly, and takes it all so very deeply, so raw... he has nothing to defend himself from that, nothing to stop it from eating him on the inside. and then there's everything else... i am not there to defend him form it. who will she hit when i am not around to absorb it, how will she avoid putting him in abusive mental and emotional positions like she has for me, not because she wanted to hurt me, but because she never asked the simple most obvious question, "how does it feel"... again and again our dialogue as parents was guided by asking the questions, when putting her ego on the line is at risk, she can't bring herself to ask them.
she is being destructive to my son, she is hurting him & myself, and that makes for one, pissed off, dad.