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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by flameskull95 View Post
    Hey. My mum's an ESFJ too. I suspect. Great people, frustrating sometimes, never stops talking. But good people. I mean they never* stop talking. Never. ... Great people.

    But I get what you mean with the guilt tripping, she would parade the whole family on a list of things that she does almost every day, and says "oh I was just saying" whenever someone would question whether she was mad at us or not. She's pretty intellectual though, strong Te I propose.

    Anyway, I guess the Fe is smothering in that case, but I don't think that's the case for INFJs at all. And I disagree if you're trying to relate that to INFJs. For example, ENFPs use Fi in a different sense to INFPs, and that's important to know. It's more about the connections in the type processes rather than the individual processes themselves.
    I was not working under the belief that both utilise it in the same way. In the post I was referring to Fe. I'm aware that INFJs use it differently.

  2. #102
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    IMHO Vicki Jo is an idiot. I've even told her that (which she ignored.) Where in the cognitive functions would INFPs be the essence of being the most judgmental type? If its the Fi-dom (which cares more about judging for and of the self anyway) then we share that equally with ISFP. The person who claimed she was biased was probably correct.
    That is my impression also, so I probably should not have brought up her criticism. I have not found her credible.

    I am overly defensive in this thread and for this topic, and I'm still analyzing why. I do try to match people's communication styles to help resolve conflict, and I do mirror back to see if people can take what they dish out. That is partly to see if it is in fact a communication style or some type of game or tactic. It helps me know whether I should try to calibrate to that style or just exit the exchange. A number in this thread have described that they communicate both ways in this manner.

    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    As for the outburst against others it is in my experience always been because said person has been either the direct cause or the straw which broke the Camel's back. For the latter this could be some poor sod who spoke to me when I was boiling over and then asked if I was ok or commented on my attitude. Normally if I start I will lash out at anyone who attempts to derail me, think a saucepan on the stove full up to the brim with boiling water. If you try and move it then be aware of the risks because it will hurt if it spills! Leave them alone to chill out unless they want to stir the pot and criticise someone for something.
    I also know that possibly every type has stories about sudden outbursts - at least most all the N types, so that isn't necessarily an INFP thing, but I think it contributes to my motivation to push back towards these criticisms. I'm still trying to learn how to resolve conflict with Fi-doms I love, and so far just submitting and apologizing and trying to remain positive has been successful. There have also been two arguments in my life with a Fi person that I went ahead and let myself go, get angry and just say whatever without filter and that worked better than I expected. I'm trying something a little like that here, but with some reassurances because I know there is little or no social trust established.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #103
    Glycerine
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    These type of threads always amuse me because the theoretical may hold some weight but the reality never seems to quite play out like the theoretical implies. It only really seems to turn into WWIII when there is a lot of stress and and anger mixed into the fold. They rarely if ever seem productive and end up being masochistic in the least. Who the hell needs to get their flaws validated or denied by random strangers? What's the point about arguing about the flaws to these people? It's kinda hilarious.

  4. #104
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    I was not working under the belief that both utilise it in the same way. In the post I was referring to Fe. I'm aware that INFJs use it differently.
    If you know that they don't both utilize it in the same way, then you couldn't have just been referring to just Fe. Because if you were referring to just Fe, then that would apply to both INFJs and ESFJs (both having Fe).
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

  5. #105
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    Well, I've noticed INFJs to make people comfortable and do that whole mystical approach thing.

    But I've noticed recently that a lot of INFJs haven't been "sticking around". I mean, even when I tried to open up to them and when we've established a connection, and after they've understood me to some extent.

    This left me a bit confused as to whether or not I've offended them down the tracks after our first encounter and I'm always the one for possibilities so I think about it a lot more than people would think.
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

  6. #106
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    What gets these threads going is our intense desire to "GET IT"! Both types kind of pride ourselves on being "people people" and it's almost incredulous that we're so similar yet so different I guess.

    We share our thoughts and are surprised both that we seem misunderstood and that we aren't seeing the other's POV. If we're met with confusion or resistance, it confuses us. And then, some emotion will drip in and that can also obfuscate the message. Someone gets annoyed, someone feels hurt and whammo, it starts to disintegrate. INFP's want an emotional message to parse with and that's what the INFJ's tend to need quieted so they can process.

    HOWEVER - I know the INFP's and INFJ's both really WANT to get it. We do care about the other. It seems we GET so close too ...
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  7. #107
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    What gets these threads going is our intense desire to "GET IT"! Both types kind of pride ourselves on being "people people" and it's almost incredulous that we're so similar yet so different I guess.

    We share our thoughts and are surprised both that we seem misunderstood and that we aren't seeing the other's POV. If we're met with confusion or resistance, it confuses us. And then, some emotion will drip in and that can also obfuscate the message. Someone gets annoyed, someone feels hurt and whammo, it starts to disintegrate. INFP's want an emotional message to parse with and that's what the INFJ's tend to need quieted so they can process.

    HOWEVER - I know the INFP's and INFJ's both really WANT to get it. We do care about the other. It seems we GET so close too ...
    yeah I agree. It's like what TypeLogic has to say about the INFJ-INFP interaction; 'complement: compatible strengths but different emphases'.
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

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  8. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by flameskull95 View Post
    If you know that they don't both utilize it in the same way, then you couldn't have just been referring to just Fe. Because if you were referring to just Fe, then that would apply to both INFJs and ESFJs (both having Fe).
    Ugh, do I really have to sit here and explain the specifics of what I meant?

  9. #109
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    Ugh, do I really have to sit here and explain the specifics of what I meant?
    You can sit anywhere you like
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by flameskull95 View Post
    You can sit anywhere you like
    Very well, I shall sit over there next to that glass of whiskey. I apologise for any logical inconsistency in my previous postings, I move the goal posts unconsciously! I do not enjoy making fallacious and contradictory statements. Basically the Fe I referred in my initial postings were about the parts of Fe I tend to see INFJs use but were using it interchangeably. E.g. like a dinner meal where you could only be talking about part yet you refer to it as "the dinner" as if it were the whole thing you were referring to. Like complaining about the dinner being too hot when it is only the meat that is too hot and the vegetables are fine. When talking about the ESFJs I was referring to the whole Fe, the whole shabang which includes what the INFJs do not seem to use or express.

    I hope that makes sense (despite the holes in it) as I would not know how else to explain my train of thought.

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