Firstly, let me tell you all thanks for the information. This board has helped me understand my guy so much better.
I met a guy online in early September. We've gone out nine times since, and he's wonderful and smart, funny, and we get along so so well (INFJ). He met my sister and my BIL, and is so thoughtful when we are together. He shows he cares through actions and now that I get that, I better understand. The physical part is growing as well and even a more verbalizing. The growth is there!
We both travel a bit for our jobs and sometimes that can put some time between dates. The last few dates I felt like I was initiating and making plans. When we were together he was attentive, fun, and growing in affection, so I knew he wants to be with me. He told me he hates planning where we go to dinner and I praised him sharing that, and appreciate the more I can know.
I last saw him a week ago when he met my sis and BIL at my house to watch football. I realize this was a big gesture on his side and thanked him. I let him know when I was traveling for the holiday, and that I had to leave for work travel a few days after being back- in the hope that he'd make a plan a week out. No dice. So I ask him the next day to call me and briefly (and lightly) tell him I need him to take the reins back on planning and when he's gone for a few days (3-4 days can easily go by with no contact), I worry if he's alive/or crawling under his desk (we work for the same company, but we employee 6K people), or if he doesn't see me, no big deal. He says, good to know, he can do that, and that he didn't mean his action to be interpreted by me as a lack of caring, and at times he's barely surviving at work. I kept it simple, to the point, and funny.
So I text him on Wed (pre Thanksgiving) with a joke..keeping it light, we go back and forth a bit on Thanksgiving. Then nothing initiated by him. I had something for him, so I dropped it at his office, and then get a text saying "thanks for the stuff etc... how was the rest of vacation?" We've gone back and forth for a few days, apparently he was sick during my short duration back in town so I get that he's starting to digest/value my request... but I want a plan in place. I miss him! I'm back tomorrow in town and last heard from him Friday. That's fine but I'd like to see him before the weekend. I had a few days to see him between Thanksgiving and Travel but he was sick- which I found out not by his initiation. He has stepped up texting since our "chat" and I am trying to share my feelings and needs more and he responds postively but he's not the best with words via text.
I really like this guy, and truly feel like we have a strong chance to have a solid future but I'm not understanding the lack of planning. I love spending time together and respect and value his personality. I get he shows he cares by actions but when I can't see him for two weeks, it's hard to "feel" the actions, and I worry my initation may mean he doesn't care but his actions say much more that he very much does. I am back in town and would love a plan from him, how would you proceed? I know he's wonderful and cares and I repsect his way of showing it but I want to get excited to see him soon!
Any tips, advice, or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Girl in the PNW