[NF] INFP vs. INFJ

[Siúil a Rúin]

Which type would need more time to know how to respond to someone? Very often it takes me a while to piece together my opinion about someone's behavior because there are so many layers involved. I have been told my face is expressive, but very often my mind is sorting things out, so there isn't some solid conclusion i have about the actions of others.

 

[Nadir]

Er... it's 4:14 AM here, and I'd rather go to sleep before my parents awaken in that temporary "I-woke-up-just-to-tell-you-to-go-to-sleep-and-I'm-irritated-so-go-to-sleep-already" state. (I enjoyed that, yeah.) I will return to the thread in the morning/noon...

 

[heart]

Jung is the one who uses the term oppressive to describe Fi:

Classics in the History of Psychology -- Jung (1921/1923) Chapter 10

"...Although in the normal type, the tendency, above alluded to, to overpower or coerce the object once openly and visibly with the thing secretly felt, rarely plays a disturbing role, and never leads to a serious attempt in this direction, some trace of it, none the less, leaks through into the personal effect upon the object, in the form of a domineering influence often difficult to define. It is sensed as a sort of stifling or oppressive feeling which holds the immediate circle under a spell..."

Psychological Types
C. G. Jung (1921)

 

[Nadir]

Which type would need more time to know how to respond to someone? Very often it takes me a while to piece together my opinion about someone's behavior because there are so many layers involved. I have been told my face is expressive, but very often my mind is sorting things out, so there isn't some solid conclusion i have about the actions of others.

Okay, one last...

What you describe is my stance. I know this to be true, because my ISP friend is irritated about my unwillingness to agree with his snap-judgments and the rather swiftly formed, opinionated (but not invalid) views. I just assume that there's much that I have yet to know, whereas he's happier with making judgments based on his past experience or what he currently sees... and extrapolating from the same.

 

[nolla]

Which type would need more time to know how to respond to someone? Very often it takes me a while to piece together my opinion about someone's behavior because there are so many layers involved.

INFJs seem to have things figured out a lot more than I have. I think they have more solid "big picture" about how things work. Then they just go to their big picture, compare it with any given situation and throw an opinion. It takes more time for me to consider the possible viewpoints to a topic.

 

[heart]

Sometimes I cannot respond to someone or something I feel deeply about. I get like Fi locked in and cannot move the words from my brain to my lips or hands. I usually have a pretty good idea what I feel about something the moment it happens, but not so sure what I think about it and need to spend time thinking. Anger or something silly is easy to talk about ( I assume because Ne or Te can wing that), but sentiment or something serious, I can get locked up about because I am more serious about it and want to be very careful how I phrase it.

My husband always, always has to talk about something with someone else before he knows what he feels about it.

 

[Kiddo]

Could you expand on that. I'm not certain of the distinction between the two, but it could well be fundamentally important.

A few posts on the topic...

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/211293-post91.html
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/211030-post46.html
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/203751-post21.html
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/215601-post41.html

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

A few posts on the topic...

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/211293-post91.html
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/211030-post46.html
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/203751-post21.html
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/215601-post41.html

Those are interesting and consistent posts. Can you see how they are in conflict with some responses in this thread and in some other threads about INFJs and INFPs? I suppose it is worth looking up some of the original material on the subject. I think the P and J tendencies and behaviors get swapped around quite a bit. I find it confusing to say the least.

 

[arcticangel02]

That's interesting about the disapproval thing - once or twice I've manage to dissuade people from behaviours that I wasn't happy about them doing, without really having to say much at all.

I am usually fairly easygoing, though, so not too many things cross that line. I don't mind a lot of things which would annoy some INFP friends of mine. Which might explain why PM mentioned she'd only seen in in IFP types - it seems to take a fair bit more to get an EFP to disapprove silently like that.

 

[nolla]

I am usually fairly easygoing, though, so not too many things cross that line. I don't mind a lot of things which would annoy some INFP friends of mine. Which might explain why PM mentioned she'd only seen in in IFP types - it seems to take a fair bit more to get an EFP to disapprove silently like that.

I would say that the key to this is to not disapprove that often. People rarely hear me disapproving anything, so it must have more effect when I do.

 

[cascadeco]

I would say INFP recluses when processing. My husband always needs to talk and talk when he is processing or stressed and it is stressful at times for me because when I need to process I need to be quiet. Even things like car repairs, he wants to talk every detail out with me, says that is the only way he can really think about it.

I would say INFP needs more sentimental emotion and cuddling and stuff like that. But on first glance INFJ will seem warmer and more needy and more open, but as time passes and INFP opens fully, its INFP who wants more emotion from SO and close friends.

This is pretty interesting, as I can relate much more to your description of INFP than that of your husband -- but I think I'm quite introverted and I've never been one to talk much or chatter.

I definitely need a LOT of time to myself to process. I don't talk when I get stressed, I need to be alone to sort through how I feel, and what I think about something. I can't really think about stuff/figure things out while talking. So it's going inwards first, contemplating/processing, connecting the dots or reaching resolution, and THEN I feel comfortable talking about it, just to let it out, or simply share it, or to get feedback or affirmation. But if I think on my own for a while, and really can't figure anything out, I might then talk to others because I recognize I need input, or need a sounding board. But that's only the second step, once I realize I'm getting nowhere on my own. These sorts of things can get complicated -- complicated to know the root cause behind why I go inward, I mean, and don't talk things through with others. I've always been rather solitary, and I think it's just old habit started from long ago when I never talked to anyone about anything personal, and kept it all in. It's only in the past 3-4 yrs that I've really worked on opening up and being more expressive with others, and actually extroverting my inner world.

I don't really know any confirmed INFP's, so I cannot compare myself to them. I am good friends with several INFJ's, though, and I have a lot of similarities with them. It's interesting, though, because although they're all INFJ's, they do have different nuances -- I mean, there's definitely a spectrum, and variance within each type. One of them is so talkative and emotionally expressive that she rather exhausts me sometimes ;-), a few are more talkative than I but definitely have more balance in talking vs. listening, and are more cautious and reserved in expressing emotion, and the male INFJ I know is pretty similar to me, as far as his introvertedness goes. And then a few are what I would consider much stronger 'J's' than I. I've never really felt my 'J' tendencies are terribly strong, but maybe that's just where I'm at now, and maturity. I don't know. Also, I'm just...not as reactive/combustible (for lack of better words) as one, and not as planned as another.

Oh..and I have never really had a life plan. ;-) I don't think that can be tied to J/P. One of the INFJ's I know has always had a life plan, and she's one who has a lot of direction (compared to I). The other INFJ's I know are more floaty, like me, in that way.

But..while several people have confirmed my INFJ-ness and I don't think I'm nearly as mellow, in general, as the INxP's, I do think my Fi is pretty high, and is probably as strong as Fe. So there's that too.

 

[anii]

INFP is blue. INFJ is green.

 

[cafe]

It'd confusing, I think. I almost always get INFP on MBTI tests and on the cognitive functions tests Ni/Ne and Fi/Fe are my strongest functions. The INFJ description fits me a bit better than the INFP, so I just go with that.

 

[Endolori]

i had an infj friend who was very gregarious and liked to go around solving people's problems (he did that to me until he realized i probably would never get up and socialize around). compared to myself i don't usually have this tendency to nurture other people and make them grow, unless they approach me with their problems, which seldom happens anyway.

the same infj friend was voted nicest guy in my class, and he was really super nice, like being sensitive to people's feelings and helping out with everybody. i guess being a social lubricant helped too. on the contrary my classmates have called me mr polite and rather distant, so i guess that's another difference, the Fe/Fi thing.

if you ask me infj and infp are so different it's hard to mix them up, but i find myself confused about my type sometimes - sometimes, that is. i'm still a pretty much confirmed infp.

 

[Kiddo]

It'd confusing, I think. I almost always get INFP on MBTI tests and on the cognitive functions tests Ni/Ne and Fi/Fe are my strongest functions. The INFJ description fits me a bit better than the INFP, so I just go with that.

I was able to choose between the two because I can get along extremely well with INFJs, but every INFP friend I've ever had eventually gets on my nerves and vice versa. Fi is simply wicked. It's like a headless vigilante.

 

[cafe]

I was able to choose between the two because I can get along extremely well with INFJs, but every INFP friend I've ever had eventually gets on my nerves and vice versa. Fi is simply wicked. It's like a headless vigilante.

There are INFPs I get along with pretty well, but I know what you mean. I also have never been very comfortable on INFP forums, FWIW.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

It'd confusing, I think. I almost always get INFP on MBTI tests and on the cognitive functions tests Ni/Ne and Fi/Fe are my strongest functions. The INFJ description fits me a bit better than the INFP, so I just go with that.

That is the same for me. I do identify with those aspects of both you and cascademn and when I read many of the infj descriptions. The links that Kiddo posted about INFJs fits me as well. The most confusing aspect is one of certitude because it is a core struggle for me to find it in anything. I am a deep skeptic and agnostic to at least some extent about everything. I also have trouble feeling anger in part because it often makes sense why people act as they do. I know there is always a cause and can often conceive plausible scenarios for why they might act that way. Because of this the whole "poetic justice" aspect of the infj doesn't make sense to me. Seeing poetic justice take place sometimes makes me feel really sick.

 

[cafe]

That is the same for me. I do identify with those aspects of both you and cascademn and when I read many of the infj descriptions. The links that Kiddo posted about INFJs fits me as well. The most confusing aspect is one of certitude because it is a core struggle for me to find it in anything. I am a deep skeptic and agnostic to at least some extent about everything. I also have trouble feeling anger in part because it often makes sense why people act as they do. I know there is always a cause and can often conceive plausible scenarios for why they might act that way. Because of this the whole "poetic justice" aspect of the infj doesn't make sense to me. Seeing poetic justice take place sometimes makes me feel really sick.

You are more fair-minded and detached than most people and certainly more than most Fs. I do not know if it is a function of being highly introverted, extremely intelligent, a product of your life experience, a combination of those factors or none of those things. Whatever it is, I think it is something that is outside of type. I admire that about you and consider it very noble.

Somehow, I can be intellectually agnostic and often see things from many sides, yet still have strong feelings and opinions about things. It's a little bit like knowing that it's all a big game, but still playing my hardest anyway, if that makes sense.

 

[cascadeco]

That is the same for me. I do identify with those aspects of both you and cascademn and when I read many of the infj descriptions. The links that Kiddo posted about INFJs fits me as well. The most confusing aspect is one of certitude because it is a core struggle for me to find it in anything. I am a deep skeptic and agnostic to at least some extent about everything. I also have trouble feeling anger in part because it often makes sense why people act as they do. I know there is always a cause and can often conceive plausible scenarios for why they might act that way. Because of this the whole "poetic justice" aspect of the infj doesn't make sense to me. Seeing poetic justice take place sometimes makes me feel really sick.

I can relate very much to what you wrote here, although I'm not sure the skepticism/agnosticism applies to me as much anymore -- mostly because I don't really focus on intellectual topics like I used to, and don't get a whole lot of pleasure out of it. But when I do find myself in those discussions or situations, I'm pretty grey and noncommital.

I think I responded in two of your threads on these very topics -- one on certitude (or lack of), and one on anger. The certitude is one I have a bit harder time wrapping myself around, because while I don't think I'm terribly certain about anything (aside from a few values, and some ethical/moral things, and my certitude in my agnosticism!), it's possible that's just my own view of myself and maybe I come across differently to others. I don't think I do..but, you never know!

Anger..yep, I can relate. I really don't think I've experienced raw anger. I've never gotten into a shouting match with anyone, or lashed out at anyone in anger. I mean, I can't even think of a situation where I've gotten angry. I tend to move inward and I 'process' everything inwardly so that by the time I have done all the processing, I understand why the other person acted the way they did, and upon understanding this, I can't really be angry at them.

Being irritable is about as worked up as I get . And when I'm irritable, I tend to voluntarily isolate myself from others, because I know anything I'd direct towards others while I was like that would be, well, just a product of my mood and nothing more than that, so I don't really want to interact with people when I'm in that negative mindset.

'Poetic justice' - eh, I don't know. There are aspects of the INFJ description that don't resonate with me as much, and I think it's one reason why about 10 yrs ago I used to always think I was an NT. Now that I have interacted on these boards, I think I'm pretty far removed from an NT approach to the world, and now that I have several INFJ friends and see so many similarities between how we approach everything, and how we tend to see the world and interact with people, I think INFJ fits me the best. But I do think when it comes to personality, there are loads of things that make up our psychae and how we react to and process things that are outside of mbti. Like Cafe was saying. Life experience is a big one, which includes how each of us were raised, and those dynamics, and the 'roles' each of us ended up playing while younger, and then you have genetic factors, maturity itself, maybe throw some anxiety/depression/coping mechanisms/other struggles into the mix, and things can quickly become more complicated and less cut-and-dry than easily fitting into one of 16 types.

 

[Kiddo]

I have a great deal of certitude about not wanting any certitude, if that makes any sense. I just feel all certainty should be provisional. The world is just too subjective a place for me to impose my value judgments on anyone or for anyone else to be imposing their value judgments on me.

That isn't to say that I think I or anyone else shouldn't have certain rights. But I base my perceived rights on substantiated principles which are time tested and prove to be true most of the time, rather than unsubstantiated value judgments. An ethical principle like "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is based on a lot more common sense than a moral principle like "Thou shall not kill." Because at least on the ethical principle I can kill to protect myself and my family, whereas in the moral example, I would be a hypocrite. Absolution is the key to hypocrisy. I think INFJs value their integrity far too much to settle for certitude, because they know it will ultimately lead to hypocrisy.