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Thread: INFP vs. INFJ

  1. #11
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Yes, Fi can feel oppressive to others. I am told this by some people, when I am not trying to put any sort of vibes out there, they say I do. I can walk into a room and immediately, a stranger (usually someone who seems Te or Fe) has a problem with me and I think it is the same sort of thing.

    I can have more an effect on my husband by feeling something strongly internally than speaking to him on it.
    I wasn't actually thinking of oppression when I said that -- that seems rather negative -- it was really closer to a description of presence. He does not get people moving by just being there, and perhaps this is all because I know him well, but I think he has this kindly? emotional aura that very subtly nudges others to watch their words.
    Not really.

  2. #12
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Yes, Fi can feel oppressive to others. I am told this by some people, when I am not trying to put any sort of vibes out there, they say I do. I can walk into a room and immediately, a stranger (usually someone who seems Te or Fe) has a problem with me and I think it is the same sort of thing.

    I can have more an effect on my husband by feeling something strongly internally than speaking to him on it.
    I wouldn't call it oppressive but Fi does emit a certain heaviness. I think Nadir describes it pretty well or at least the way I've experienced it. It's more of an automatic snap back in line simply based on the FP (I've only noticed this in IFPs) rather than explicit correction from an FJ.

  3. #13
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadir View Post
    I feel my ISP friend would, almost subconsciously, alter his communication patterns in his presence. This is because I feel the Fi moral compass, while not being direct, has a certain influence on other people despite being a strictly internal faculty.
    I find this interesting because it brought back memories of something similar happening to me many times. I have never really thought about it, though... Strange. So, it would be like the other people can sense me disapproving something and they see that their attitude needs a change? But... that's huge! I only have to be around to make the world a better place . I guess the other one needs to be an N to see my disapproval.

    I'll have to prove your theory to myself before I start celebrating my newfound supernatural ability.

    *goes out disapproving people*

  4. #14
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadir View Post
    I wasn't actually thinking of oppression when I said that -- that seems rather negative -- it was really closer to a description of presence. He does not get people moving by just being there, and perhaps this is all because I know him well, but I think he has this kindly? emotional aura that very subtly nudges others to watch their words.
    Well, I wasn't really ascribing a negative connotation to it either, just that it can reach out beyond the person to affect others.

    EDIT: I think Jung is the one who used the word "oppressive" in relation to Fi first, I will have to check to see.

  5. #15
    homo-loving sonovagun anii's Avatar
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    INFPs are better drivers, INFJs better housekeepers.
    There's reason to be afraid, and reason to open your heart. ~ Seal

    Refreshment for your ears: www.kexp.org

  6. #16
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    I find this interesting because it brought back memories of something similar happening to me many times. I have never really thought about it, though... Strange. So, it would be like the other people can sense me disapproving something and they see that their attitude needs a change? But... that's huge! I only have to be around to make the world a better place . I guess the other one needs to be an N to see my disapproval.

    I'll have to prove your theory to myself before I start celebrating my newfound supernatural ability.

    *goes out disapproving people*
    That, in turn, reminded me of an occasion where my INFP friend disapproved of something I was doing. I was walking with a person he didn't like -- disapproved of. The thing is -- I used to disapprove of, and even dislike that person as well, but eventually let that slide, and now that person is another acquaintance of mine. My INFP friend isn't like that -- once he disapproves of, or dislikes someone, (doesn't happen very easily for both of us) it takes some proactive persuasion from other parties for him to let go -- he can be quite set in his ways where that is concerned --, whereas I just forgive people over time and give them second chances, attempt to reconcile differences and find common ground, stuff like that.

    Anyway, about his disapproval of my walking, and here's the most important part -- it only take a look from him for me to understand. We both have the potential to "stare" someone, but he does it far more effectively than me, because I know the moral compass to be there and right now it's pointing accusatorily towards me -- and it's all in his eyes.
    Not really.

  7. #17
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    I find this interesting because it brought back memories of something similar happening to me many times. I have never really thought about it, though... Strange. So, it would be like the other people can sense me disapproving something and they see that their attitude needs a change? But... that's huge! I only have to be around to make the world a better place . I guess the other one needs to be an N to see my disapproval.

    I'll have to prove your theory to myself before I start celebrating my newfound supernatural ability.

    *goes out disapproving people*
    Ha. There have been a few occasions where someone has told me they thought I was disapproving when nothing was further from my mind. That is a bit demoralizing. It's like meta-judgementalism or something - being judged for judging what you didn't judge.

    I think maybe it is the heavy withdrawn thing they see in me combined with the other person's own ideas about what they should be doing.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  8. #18
    heart on fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by anii View Post
    INFPs are better drivers, INFJs better housekeepers.
    Actually it is the reverse here. I get motion sick, husband has poor Se, cannot navigate household chores well. My Te has to bridge the gaps. He can clean but needs to be led in it or he feel overwhelmed. He is more picky about how clean the place is, but less effective at actually cleaning!

    Quote Originally Posted by nadir
    My INFP friend isn't like that -- once he disapproves of, or dislikes someone, (doesn't happen very easily for both of us) it takes some proactive persuasion from other parties for him to let go -- he can be quite set in his ways where that is concerned --, whereas I just forgive people over time and give them second chances, attempt to reconcile differences and find common ground, stuff like that.
    Will proactive persuasion actually work on him? I really don't deal well when people try to do this with me.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadir View Post
    Anyway, about his disapproval of my walking, and here's the most important part -- it only take a look from him for me to understand. We both have the potential to "stare" someone, but he does it far more effectively than me, because I know the moral compass to be there and right now it's pointing accusatorily towards me -- and it's all in his eyes.
    I find this quite annoying sometimes. If I think something bad about someone and he walks by, I can't really look at him because I know I'm too easy to read. But I have to look at him because it would be even more awkward not to look at him. And then he is being disapproved and I'll try to avoid walking around that neighborhood for a while so that when after a few months I bumb into him in a store or something I can be like "hey, what's up, its been a long time!"


  10. #20
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Will proactive persusation actually work on him? I really don't deal well when people try to do this with me.
    When I need to do that, I am careful to not invalidate existing opinion and stance on a person. I acknowledge it -- because usually the reasons make sense. I try to offer some different view points from which to consider the situation... or, for example try to describe the person who I'm trying to exonerate as I see him/her. Of course this isn't like mathematics or a chemical reaction, with guaranteed results, but it can be helpful and a healthy way of discussing the matter at hand.
    Not really.

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