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View Poll Results: How many are real?

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  • 0-10 %

    5 15.63%
  • 10-20 %

    4 12.50%
  • 20-30 %

    5 15.63%
  • 30-40 %

    0 0%
  • 40-50 %

    2 6.25%
  • 50-60 %

    1 3.13%
  • 60-70 %

    1 3.13%
  • 70-80 %

    4 12.50%
  • 80-90 %

    5 15.63%
  • 90-100 %

    5 15.63%
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Results 61 to 66 of 66

  1. #61
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    So... if nothing is fake except these cases, why do I feel like bad for faking a smile?
    I feel that this is the question to ask. I would venture to guess that it is because of the incompatibility between your internal world and the external world -- a necessity of life for most people, but perhaps you feel it moreso. As an introvert, and an introverted feeler, your emotions arise from you. Within the realm of your mind there are no limits put on the conception of those emotions -- you feel what you want to feel, think what you want to think without regard to other, external factors. If, you, for example, find the way people socialize unsuitable for your tastes, or have different ideas than most about how friendships are formed then that's that. Only, you can not impose your own socializing/friendship standards on the external world. So the reverse happens -- the external world, the enviroment where you live, populated by people, inadvertently imposes its own standards on you. So you find yourself smiling even if you don't feel like smiling, because that's what is expected of you -- yet this was never about fulfilling what was expected of you, and now it is, as to do the opposite would not result in acceptance. (Why is acceptance so important? Because the modern human, introverted or extroverted or however dichotomized, is an inherently social creature.) So the smile is "fake", forced -- and you feel bad about it because you feel you've been driven away from your comfort zone.

    Of course, I'm not stating all of the above as fact... perhaps I'm completely off?
    Not really.

  2. #62
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    I usually can't tell if I'm smiling or not. This can make me very hard to read...

    And I guess in this case I'm counting all of the smiling that's not really 'smiling.' As in, nervous smiles and embarassed smiles. Usually nervousness doesn't kick in until I start laughing. And then...

    I don't know if I'd be able to fake a smile that well. I'd probably forget what was supposed to be on my face and go back to my usual scowling.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  3. #63
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadir View Post
    If, you, for example, find the way people socialize unsuitable for your tastes, or have different ideas than most about how friendships are formed then that's that. Only, you can not impose your own socializing/friendship standards on the external world. So the reverse happens -- the external world, the enviroment where you live, populated by people, inadvertently imposes its own standards on you. So you find yourself smiling even if you don't feel like smiling, because that's what is expected of you -- yet this was never about fulfilling what was expected of you, and now it is, as to do the opposite would not result in acceptance. So the smile is "fake", forced -- and you feel bad about it because you feel you've been driven away from your comfort zone.
    Very well done. It's weird that if I start a thread about anything on this forum, I will eventually be analyzed... But yeah, you're right. That is the thing in my case. But i think the "stepping away from the comfort zone" to be my conscience. It feels the same.

    So, there are people who don't get the awkward feeling when faking a smile?

  4. #64
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    So, there are people who don't get the awkward feeling when faking a smile?
    I think that it's also important to consider not just the "awkwardness" of the feeling, but also what the subject of the feeling is. In your case the focus is you yourself -- you feel "bad" about it because you find *yourself* doing something fake, even though the recipient of the smile is other people. Now, to contrast, I would say that my ESFJ mother and ENFJ friend probably would not feel that way. Do I mean that they are completely sincere with everyone they meet, that they do not utilize "fake" smiles? No. But it is very likely that their focal point of displeasure would be the people they are sending the smiles to, and not the act of smiling itself. So they as Fe dominants can "fake" smile at someone just to mask their dislike of that someone, if social conditions require it -- but they would still harbor their displeasure towards the same person, perhaps to be voiced later on, in the presence of trusted people. But the act of "fake" smiling would not bother them as much as the people they are in the company of.
    Not really.

  5. #65
    Senor Membrane
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    Aha... I think that example makes me see the whole introversion-extroversion thing much more clearly. So... one could say as a generalization that extroverts don't feel too bad about faking itself but feel that they choose the people to fake to. So the reason I feel bad about faking to anybody, even the people i dislike, is because I am constantly watching myself.

  6. #66
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I don't think putting on a pleasant face regardless of what I'm feeling is being fake any more than putting clothes on before I leave my house is being fake.

    My feelings are no one's business and most people don't care about them anyway. I would prefer not to be inundated with the feelings of others unless they are very close to me and I try (with varied success) to extend others the same courtesy.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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