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[INFP] INFPs: What do you look for in friends?

Nonsensical

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
4,006
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
Understanding in general, and an open mind, not closed to opinions. Someone who is deep, and feeling. Most of my friends are rationals, the majority being INTP's..
 

surgery

New member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
257
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
Four
someone with whom i can have "introverted" conversations.
someone who will never pressure me do do things that i do not feel comfortable doing
someone who is not obnoxious and who does not make me want to be obnoxious.
 

Sequestered

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2008
Messages
18
MBTI Type
INFP
Unfortunately, I keep my friends at a distance. Those who do actually make it close are people who listen and are aware of others.

I do this, too.

And those who make it close to me are not people who have pressured me to let them in. If I feel pressured to let them in, I push them away, those I consider "friends" respect that and keep their distance until, and if, I invite them back into my personal space.

It's hard for me to find people I consider friends. I have high expectations. They need to be kind-hearted, gentle in demeanor, sweet, easy-going, and they get bonus points if they love animals. And they need to be completely accepting of, and okay with, my "sad times," during which I go hide until it passes. My "friends" don't become insecure about my withdrawing and understand that my doing so has nothing to do with them.
 

katerp

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
33
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
A good sense of humor is probably at the top of the list for me. The weirder the better. I love people who can be totally goofy and just come up with the most random, nonsensical things and make them funny. When I'm by myself I tend to drift to the negative, so having people that can help bring me to the lighter side is really important for me.

They have to be good people and they have to be themselves. I can't stand phony people who lie about who they are or purposely change who they are just to fit in. Why would you want to be just like everyone else anyway? What's so special about being a typical person? There are a million drones out there, just be yourself. Again, the weirder the better. (And likewise love me for being myself.)

As an INFP I'll admit, I am drawn to people who need help. Whether it's just an everyday problem or a major emotional breakdown, I want my friends to know that they can come to me for support. (It's also nice to know that they will be there for me if I need them, even though chances are I would never go to them with a problem -- c'mon, I'm an INFP. I have walls up all over the place.)

Finally we've got to have some common interests, just so we have shit to do or talk about when we're together. Some differences in taste are good too sometimes though. That is how you discover new things after all. It's good to have friends who will help you expand your horizons.
 

snowflurri

New member
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Messages
40
MBTI Type
INFP
a great sense of humour, respect for the people around him/her, liking to participate in long deep conversations about any random issue yet not gossip, able to have a mind of their own and not let others push them around.
 

jtanSis1

New member
Joined
Oct 1, 2008
Messages
291
MBTI Type
INFP
Someone who likes having me around, yet has feedback in a conversation. It's really annoying to coerce people to keep talking even after a good pause.
 
Joined
Dec 28, 2016
Messages
1,566
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
459
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
-Authenticity
-Loyalty
-Trustworthiness/honesty
-Good listener (I already have trouble sharing, so knowing I have someone actually interested in what I have to say is an incredible help)
-Patience
-Kindness (doesn't matter if they aren't sentimental or "nice," as long as you genuinely care for those close to you)

Anything else is a bonus, but these are things that quickly attract me to a person. <3
 

Kas

Fabula rasa
Joined
Apr 22, 2015
Messages
2,554
I can't say there is something particular I look for. Although there are traits I value and those that annoy me immedietly, so I can't imagine being friends with someone whom I couldn't trust and count on, who would be dishonest with me, be manipulative or ignorant.

Besides of that I think there is some kind of energy/chemistry little similar to when it comes to romantic relationships. Sometimes it just clicks amd sometimes even when a person has similar interests and traits you value you can be friendly but it won't be any great friendship.
 

FeralDreamer

New member
Joined
Jan 6, 2018
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INFP
1. Kind
2. Thoughtful

Any other amazing attributes would be a bonus. People that are genuinely kind and thoughtful are very hard to find. Key word here GENUINELY. ;)
 

xenaprincess

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 7, 2011
Messages
5,192
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
1. Genuine, down to earth
2. Not too extreme in terms of emotion. (Note, this is different from people who are outwardly 'judgy'. You can be judgmental and scathing in your judgements, but that's different from emotional outbursts. I like both J people and P people)
3. Animal lover a plus. I like me animals :)
4. Able to tolerate my horrible puns and occasional brilliance:D
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
1. Honesty
2. Accountability
3. LET ME KNOW when I have failed at 1&2. Don’t just blow me off. Address issues.
4. It helps to have an absurd and morbid sense of humor (a love of Monty Python is appreciated but not mandatory)
5. Otherwise be the most authentic person you can be
 

AdmiralAndGirlsDesu

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2017
Messages
36
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
I haven't made many friends in my life so far, but, as a general guideline:

1. Somebody who really takes time to listen and understand what I am thinking and feeling, somebody who takes my views and concerns seriously, rather than mocking them right away. It would be best if we agree on a number of key issues that I feel strongly about.

2. Somebody who's perhaps more expressive than me, because I'm not always that good at expressing my feelings.


3. Somebody who can appreciate the fact that though I may still be relatively young, I have things I strongly feel about and I often feel out of place with my peers or slightly older people. Growing up, I often preferred the company of adults rather than other kids, and was labeled as anti-social by some teachers (note, not the personality disorder). 'You are still young', 'act more like your age, have some fun and be more outgoing' are some of the quickest ways to make me withdraw and not want to engage you any further. I consider myself an old soul in many ways.


4. Someone who is loyal and dependable out of a deep and mutual trust and desire to be in each other's lives.


5. Somebody who knows and believes in my best qualities, but also knows my weak spots. Somebody who doesn't force me to change my fundamental self.


6. Somebody who's a bit more practical and grounded when necessary, or rather, when there's no other choice but to push forward and get something done.


7. Somebody who's kind, gentle, and caring, who has compassion for the weak and helpless rather than contempt.



8. Somebody who is authentic to themselves without feeling the need to be anything they are not. Somebody who is not afraid to challenge conventions and expectations, as long as it's still in-line with my values and beliefs.


9. Somebody who can appreciate the need for quiet time and for relative silence, without feeling 'bored' or 'off'. Somebody whom I can enjoy my time and feel at ease with even when there's no plan, no structure, no deliberation, nothing.


10. Somebody who desires nothing but a quiet, peaceful, and happy life.


Of course it's rare, if not impossible to find someone who matches all 10 of these criterion, and I'm a bit more flexible than I may appear to be in writing this, but the absolute nightmares for me would be:
1. Being forced to change my fundamental self into something I don't agree and am not comfortable with.
2. Being with someone who lacks fundamental kindness and goodness.
3. Being dismissed for how I feel and what I need to share because I view he / she as someone close to me.
4. Disagreeing over key issues and values. (EX: I am completely against corporal punishment on children, but he / she fully supports it).

If these lines are crossed, I will find it extremely difficult to feel anything good in my relationship with that other person.
 

StarFollowed

Stardust
Joined
Jul 12, 2016
Messages
79
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I tend to look for devotion, openness, depth, understanding in friendships.
 
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