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  1. #1

    Exclamation Was my dad an ENFP or ISFP??

    I have been wracking my brains on this one. Please help me!

    For the past 3 years, I have believed he was an enfp...because I am one and we are similar...and since I believe my mom was an istj, where else could I have gotten my enfp label??

    However...while he did have some enfp characteristics...very, very playful, loved practical jokes, a salesman's dream (which my mom said was because he was in sales), an introvert when he got home from work, as he would sit in his chair and recharge... My mom used to complain that he gave all his energy to the outside world and would come and sit.

    Now, the one thing that my dad didn't have that I thought all enfp's DO have was a great sense of communication. He was terrible at communicating his ideas... he would say a few things and expect us to finish the idea and to just get it...

    Now...i am married to an isfp...and the similarities between my dad and husband are huge.

    They both LOVE with a huge love, sensual things such as great food, back and foot rubs, lots of affection, loving words and they both have/had these hugely expressive eyes, that beam 'love'; in other words, very, very strong feeling.

    What other characteristics should I look for to figure him out?

    I think 3 of the 4 children are NF. Does that mean ONE of the parents had to be NF or could it have come from grandparents?

    My dad was also HIGHLY spontaneous and loved adventure, thrills, and fun with gusto. He would sometimes just sit and look at me with those eyes of his and I would feel the love emanating to me from them; my husband's eyes do the same thing.

    I would love to hear your insights!
    Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, oil your brain, before it starts to rust...

  2. #2
    Senor Membrane
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    Why not infp? To me it sounds like he has to be an introvert. And the problem with communicating is very much like infp. The clear cut between N and S is that the S likes to do stuff in this world and the N likes to think. It's not that hard spotting the difference. If he likes fixing the car, he's S Maybe you could think about if he gets ideas into reality or not. N builds ideas, S makes them happen.

    Or .. maybe he's a borderline case.

    Oh, and about this:

    Quote Originally Posted by BookLady View Post
    I think 3 of the 4 children are NF. Does that mean ONE of the parents had to be NF or could it have come from grandparents?
    No. I don't think it is that straightforward. If personality would be so easily found in family trees, someone would have noticed it a long time ago.

  3. #3

    Exclamation very interesting, Nolla...

    Ok, he also was entrepreneurial and he loved to have a garden. He was all thumbs with mechanical stuff. He loved nature, and looking at natural beauty and smelling beautiful aromas...So my ISFP daughter insists he was an S...She said he used to tell her he was going to go walking in the garden, he was "going to his peace".


    Well, I am an N and I make things happen...I am all about ideas and creating new things...

    What are other ways to tell an S from an N???
    Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, oil your brain, before it starts to rust...

  4. #4
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Does he talk in hypotheticals or does he talk in reality? That's the easiest way I know to tell. If every other question somebody asks is a "what if" then I know they're an N. On the other hand if they ask "what does" questions like what does it do, what does it look, sound, taste, smell like, etc. then that's an S.

    They both LOVE with a huge love, sensual things such as great food, back and foot rubs, lots of affection, loving words and they both have/had these hugely expressive eyes, that beam 'love'; in other words, very, very strong feeling.
    All of that sounds totally like me. Does he often work really hard on a particular project for a while and then suddenly drop it and do something else? That's another big SP flag.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Leysing's Avatar
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    Personality isn't about family trees. My mother and father are strong SJs, I'm a strong NF.

    Yes, why not an INFP? He sounds pretty much like me. I love to work with my hands (I'm going to be a horse professional) and sensual pleasures, but I love ideas even more.

    Or, yes, maybe an IxFP.

  6. #6

    Default ideas

    Well, but I don't remember him being INFPish in terms of sitting around, one on one, discussing 'ideas' the way infps and enfps do. He preferred 'togetherness' as he called it, which meant simply BEING TOGETHER in harmony but without him saying alot. I would be the chatterbox and he would simply smile at me and listen, kind of shaking his head; if I rubbed his head while I chattered, all the better.

    Eating together made it even better!

    Quote Originally Posted by Leysing View Post
    Personality isn't about family trees. My mother and father are strong SJs, I'm a strong NF.

    Yes, why not an INFP? He sounds pretty much like me. I love to work with my hands (I'm going to be a horse professional) and sensual pleasures, but I love ideas even more.

    Or, yes, maybe an IxFP.
    Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, oil your brain, before it starts to rust...

  7. #7
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    The way you describe him is very typical for ISFP.

    There's a well-documented confusion over distinguishing the Ne function from SFP; Berens and others have even written about it to provide guidelines on telling the difference.

    Your hubby and dad sound just like my old ISFP friend. He is a wonderful father, compassionate, giving, kind, jovial, just loves people but takes everything at a slow relaxed pace. He's very very hard to dislike and could move between all the various social cliques in high school and be accepted everywhere.

    Someone mentioned the tangibles: Yes, very very tangible. He likes to tinker with things, get his hands on it. That's how he plays, usually. Instead of being an artist trying to invest a message in his work, he would just fiddle and rearrange things.

    (One of his favorite pastimes was to play with leftover food when we would eat out. It would drive me a little nutty because sometimes it was gross or I wasn't quite done with my meal before he would steal things. But you could never be mad at him. He is probably one of the few people who could laugh at me when I was mad, and I'd start laughing and couldn't stay mad any longer.)

    The communication thing was big between IS and EN. I much more see the tendency you describe in the IS crowd -- not communicating clearly when they think they have, because they haven't said enough or just having made too many assumptions about what the listener knows or agrees with. (EN tends to communicate far better -- or at least say a lot. Their flaw is in usually giving too much information that is too abstract and can't be pinned down to practical issues.)

    I have no issue with the ISFP read, it's a good fit. I can't tell you whether it is "right" but it's consistent.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #8
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by BookLady View Post
    Well, but I don't remember him being INFPish in terms of sitting around, one on one, discussing 'ideas' the way infps and enfps do. He preferred 'togetherness' as he called it, which meant simply BEING TOGETHER in harmony but without him saying alot.
    This is also something I like to do. Being INFP isn't like I have to spread the word all the time I consider sitting around and observing is a part of the N.

  9. #9

    Default I just LOVE sitting around and observing...

    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    This is also something I like to do. Being INFP isn't like I have to spread the word all the time I consider sitting around and observing is a part of the N.
    And then, later, discussing my observations with others! I LOVE IT! I am enfp...
    Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, oil your brain, before it starts to rust...

  10. #10
    Senior Member Angry Ayrab's Avatar
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    This may seem like a side note but I noticed that N's do the horrible communication thing more often. They will tell you something and maybe not delve into explicit details like their S counterparts because they sometimes think everyone thinks like them and should be able to intuit their brains and know what they want.

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