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Thread: 4w3 XNFX?

  1. #1
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    Default 4w3 XNFX?

    To be honest with ya I always felt that, as a female ENTP 3w4 sx/so, I was one of the weirder ones walking around town but this person just blows me out of the water! No one knows what she's thinking, why she's thinking what she's thinking or what she's even doing. One thing for sure though- I showed her the "you know you're 4w3" thread and she did EVERY SINGLE thing on there...but then she still said that she wasn't like any of them cos "the human mind is too complex to define" and that "authenticity promotes individuality" so therefore she cannot be "typed". Well, bad luck, honey...one way to spark an ENTP's curiosity is to stay stuff like "its impossible".

    Anyways, yeah. Help me out guys!

    - she LOVEs drama. Even if its a really small thing ("oh this really hot guy/girl smiled at me today") that happened to her, all her friends and family will undoubtedly know. She also loves performing and she likes any musical in which (quote) "I am the main character". To be fair, she is pretty damn good and can portray a large range of emotions.

    - more into individual sports than team games. really big on the whole idea of "being (or at least appearing) different".

    - we're both young- only 20. She makes EVERY attempt to appear grown up and hates children (by hate I mean snap at and avoid). She's very much into more "eccentric" clothing and has a leather semi-fetish.

    - very emotional. She is one of the scariest people to set off and its just...ARGH. She screams, cries and moans in public (I am serious- she got rejected once when she auditioned and we could hear her through the bathroom door and all the way down the corridor) when she doesn't get the thing she wants. Her friends tell me she's a "drama queen" and "a little bratty".

    - knows a lot of people but everyone of them feels she's a bit weird. Sometimes she talks a lot, on other days, she prefers to be by herself reading Sylvia Plath. She likes telling people to stop being so "logical" and that "there is no algebra in real life". Ironically, she's not a bimbo and has actually been tested to have an IQ in the 130s.

    Yeah...fml. She sounds so dumb sometimes but then she'll also beat you in every single thing related to the arts or is socio-sciency. She comes across as irritating in real life but she's a star on stage. She's harsh on others but she's equally harsh on herself. Strange woman indeed.

    P.S. I aren't trying to sound mean or to position her in a negative way. The stuff I say about her being the main character isn't meant to be condescending in anyway...she just ends up there whether she likes it or not. Same for the "wierdness"...it just means she's different.

    For what its worth, she's also incredibly pretty and tall. She's also very fit (physically) and has a lot of talent.

  2. #2
    Junior Member Apostolos's Avatar
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    She seems very interesting.. I like her..
    If she is 4w3 and xNFx she could be ENFJ or ENFP, because INFJs and INFPs are more likely to be 4w5 than 4w3.
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    4w3 ENFJ

    ENFJ image types have that weird persona-mind split where there's a very opaque "wall" between what you get to see about them versus everything they contain inside. I'm close to two of them and its somewhat baffling. I've known one for over 5 years and one for a year and a half and I still can never really tell what's up with them - they're very controlling of what they let people see. Your observation "she's harsh on others but she's equally harsh on herself" really has me sold on NFJ and w3, too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    4w3 ENFJ

    ENFJ image types have that weird persona-mind split where there's a very opaque "wall" between what you get to see about them versus everything they contain inside. I'm close to two of them and its somewhat baffling. I've known one for over 5 years and one for a year and a half and I still can never really tell what's up with them - they're very controlling of what they let people see. Your observation "she's harsh on others but she's equally harsh on herself" really has me sold on NFJ and w3, too.
    Haha yeah, I can never tell what she's thinking or doing. What you're saying makes a lot of sense, but I heard/read that ENFJs are really into helping other people? And take pride when people confide in them? I don't know about the latter but the former doesn't seem to apply with her...

    I know another EXFJ for example that will literally let you live with them, feed you and stand up for you if you're in a spot of trouble

    P.S. Sorry for very late reply!

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    Senior Member _eric_'s Avatar
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    She sounds pretty interesting and fun to be around, though it would take a good bit of tolerance to do so as from what you say she seems rather imbalanced in some areas lol. I am...unusually tolerant I think, so I wouldn't mind too much, but I don't know how much of that it would take for someone else to not get irritated enough to run away haha. I also agree that she seems to be a 4w3 ENFJ, probably so/sp as well.

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    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    I agree with the others.

    I'm a 4w3 ENFP and she sounds quite simlar to me, yet also not. This is how I usually type ENFJs lol. Also she sounds EXACTLY like this ENFJ girl that I know/envy/dislike.
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

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    Senior Member _eric_'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chiharu View Post
    Also she sounds EXACTLY like this ENFJ girl that I know/envy/dislike.
    That sounds like an interesting combination haha.

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    Senior Member ScottJames's Avatar
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    Based on what you provided, I'd say that strongest read is Fi. Likely Fi primary. I wouldn't take ISFP (Think Prince, David Bowie, etc.) off the table based on what you've posted. In fact, if I had to guess based on your post I'd guess ISFP.

    ISFPs are probably the most intuitive of the sensor types.

    Is she a bit of a control freak?

  9. #9
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Well, I'll make my case for ExFJ here.

    I doubt she is a Fi type because of this: "No one knows what she's thinking, why she's thinking what she's thinking or what she's even doing". With most Fi types, you can generally get a decent idea of what they're focusing on, and with a 4w3, that would probably be abundantly clear. The Fi impulse makes you want to stand on the streetcorner and shout your innermost feelings to everyone, and I'd suspect that'd be doubly true with a 4w3 Enneatype. Also this: "She makes EVERY attempt to appear grown up and hates children (by hate I mean snap at and avoid)". FPs are generally said to have something "childlike" about them - we can't really escape it. I have a difficult time seeing an FP completely turn tail from their native innocence and freedom of expression, again particularly a 4w3 who desires to emphasize and broadcast their inner "self". Not that it's not possible for her to be FP in either case, but both seem more unlikely than not.

    Quote Originally Posted by Katriona1992 View Post
    I heard/read that ENFJs are really into helping other people? And take pride when people confide in them? I don't know about the latter but the former doesn't seem to apply with her...

    I know another EXFJ for example that will literally let you live with them, feed you and stand up for you if you're in a spot of trouble

    P.S. Sorry for very late reply!
    I think that would mostly hold true for Enneatype 2 and w2 varieties of ExFJs. All ExFJs tend to have very good "people sense", in that they have an advanced understanding of the relationships between people, of how expressions and behavior affect other people, and therefore an equally advanced understanding of how to affect others. However, to what end they use that understanding is heavily impacted by their motivations - for example, my ESFJ 2w1 mother is very helpful, and she really enjoys doing practical things to make others feel better. My ENFJ 2w3 coworker is helpful, but he's always keen to have everyone know that he's helping you. My ENFJ 3w4 friend, on the other hand, is not particularly helpful in a conventional sense. She has a knack for understanding people's behavior as well as how to change behavior via conditioning, but the way she does that is in her typical way of not responding to what she doesn't approve of and responding positively to what she does approve of. In some ways she's more judgmental than helpful. As another non-2 example, my ESFJ 9w1 boyfriend often offers a hand, but overall he seems most interested in keeping peace and engaging pleasantly with others, as well as living an upright life, contributing positively to the world. His Fe (Extraverted Feeling) is usually more "removed" than that of an e2, who is more proactive and hands-on. It took me more than a year to identify him because he didn't fit the "standard" ExFJ model - he's generally more straightforward, blunt, rational, and emotionally calm.

    Here's a personalitycafe.com poster's description of how various Enneatypes could manifest in an ENFJ:

    Quote Originally Posted by Nobleheart
    Type 1 – In this type, Fe manifests most strongly as a sense of right and wrong, how things should be. In this type, we see Fe’s drive to control the user’s environment and apply ideological truth more so than Fe’s desire to care about others. Type 1 ENFJs are commonly 1w2.

    Type 2 – This is the most common type for ENFJs, and therefore it’s no surprise that with this type, Fe manifests as a care and concern for others. Because this combination is so common, a lot of the standard description of ENFJs includes Enneagram Type 2 sensibilities. If you’re a different Enneagram type, this will explain why some of the ENFJ description isn’t quite accurate for you.

    Type 3 – Fe manifests as a sense of how things should be, and creates the drive to make them so. There is also an expectation of others’ reaction, as well as a clear sense of where the individual should be socially. Type 3 ENFJs are commonly 3w2.

    Type 4 – Fe manifests as a sense of how things should be both for the individual as well as their environment in a rather self oriented manner, insisting on aesthetics, conventions, and their unique tastes. These ENFJs can be very elitist and feel very passionately about these things. Type 4 ENFJs tend to have a notably strong Ni that can often confuse them with INFJs or INFPs.

    Type 5 – These ENFJs are quite rare, but when they manifest as type 5s, these ENFJs feel very strongly about what they know to be correct and incorrect, as well as their need to be useful to the people they care about. Type 5 ENFJs often have a strong Ti.

    Type 6 – These ENFJs manifest their Fe in a balanced mix of concern for others, their social status, security, loyalty, ideology, and their physical environment. This is a less common Enneagram type for ENFJ, but is actually the most balanced use of Fe, focusing on everything Fe is used for rather evenly.

    Type 7 – Fe manifests itself in a whirlwind of care for others through the need for fun. These ENFJs are the life of the party. While other Type 7s can be very self serving in their pursuit of fun, excitement, and happiness, ENFJ 7s use their Fe to make sure everyone else is having fun too. In a way, ENFJ 7s are much like lively 2s.

    Type 8
    – These ENFJs primarily manifest Fe’s need for right and wrong and to control their environment because of a need for justice in an unjust world. Fe’s sense of how things should be includes self sufficiency, strength of character, and independence, which can seem paradoxical to Fe’s standard definition. ENFJ 8s almost always have a strong Se and are often 8w9s.

    Type 9 – Fe manifests as a desire for harmony in the environment through Fe’s sense of how things should be. For an ENFJ 9, things should be harmonious. Right and wrong, caring for others, and control of the environment are also important, but are secondary to the imperative for harmony. ENFJ 9s are often 9w1s.
    Unfortunately I've never known any self-confirmed ENFJ 4s IRL, but I do think I had one in a vocal performance class I took last year. I suspect she was ENFJ 4w3. She was often the star of the plays and she had a very unique warbly voice. She dressed in a sort of classy-boho way, lots of nature-colored flower print dresses and high boots. She was opinionated and outspoken but also poised and self-contained. She was sort of my role model for that semester - I was really impressed by how she expressed her self yet did so in a way that was appealing to others. She was very much a "star".

  10. #10
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by _eric_ View Post
    That sounds like an interesting combination haha.
    Lol yeah. I've known her for like 2-3 years and she's excels (or at least everyone says she does) at things that I'd like to be good at. She can be really in your face though.
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

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