User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 17

  1. #1

    Default INFP - Introverts - Center of attention

    Hey, I don't post much on this forum but I have question.

    Can an INFP become comfortable being centre of attention?

    My trouble is I am often assumed to be extroverted by new people and anyone who doesn't know me very well XD. I don't even think I look extroverted. I have big eyes and generally look innocent and young (I'm 20 but look about 17 which isn't that much younger I know)
    I'm so often put on the spot to make a decision or give input often when in groups and I am very uncomfortable in these situations.

    I'm just extremely uncomfortable being centre of attention and would love to learn how to beat this fear.

    This happens even when it makes no sense. For example: I sometimes go out clubbing with friends who live in a different town to me. I don't go to this town often and don't know the area very well, but, the group will still ask me where we should go or what we should do. My response is usually to point out how I have no idea about the area and can't possibly know how to answer.
    They'll also look to me to decide whether the group is getting drinks (not for me to pay but whether or not we even go to the bar to get drinks).

    Another example is, in group situations in college, people will ALWAYS look to me to guide the group at first, until I make it clear that I don't want that responsibility, and even then they will ask my opinion on things constantly.


    I'm not actually bad at making decisions when I have to but I don't want to be the leader and have the attention all on me at once.
    I would love to not be so fearful of those situations if it's something I can overcome but I need to know how to beat it.



    Do any other introverts find this happens to them like 80% of them or more?
    Have any introverts become comfortable being centre of attention? if yes then how?
    "I feel like I am watching everything from space
    And in a minute I'll hear my name and I'll wake" - Snow Patrol, Finish Line.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 so/sx
    Posts
    2,051

    Default

    Is it that they want you to lead or that they want to see if you'll go along? INFPs have a reputation for being a little moody. I have friend who we always run stuff by but it's so so he'll lead us it's more so we can gauge how difficult he is going to be about certain things.

  3. #3

    Default

    It could be to see if I'll go along, but it wouldn't be due to moodiness or anything because I'm never/rarely moody in front of my friends or towards them.
    I'm so easy going and will genuinely go anywhere they want to go even if I'd prefer to go somewhere else. I generally don't care strongly enough to make it something that I'll argue my point for.

    I'm always smiley and friendly even to strangers although I'm usually self conscious when talking to strangers.

    In fact, now I think about it, the reason I'm so uncomfortable being centre of attention is because I'm self conscious.

    Is it possible/easy to overcome self consciousness in anyone's experience??
    "I feel like I am watching everything from space
    And in a minute I'll hear my name and I'll wake" - Snow Patrol, Finish Line.

  4. #4
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    29,772

    Default

    I love attention, and INFP I'm a puddle puppy when it comes to attention. although too much make me uncomfortable.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  5. #5
    Junior Member Chickadee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    MBTI
    INFP
    Socionics
    INFP
    Posts
    25

    Default

    I also enjoy being the center of attention for a limited period of time. I can handle extended periods, but it kind of drains me. I think you have to let go of those negative feelings and trying to guess what people are thinking of you. Instead, imagine one of the people in the crowd is in your place and think of what you would think of their decisions - you would probably be very open/forgiving of any silly mistakes. Then realize, no one is criticizing you to the extent that you are criticizing yourself. Just lead, make a mistake, and laugh about it later That's how I do it anyway, and I usually make the people I am around much more comfortable if I come out of my shell a bit and "wing it". The idea of making others comfortable trumps my own insecurities.

  6. #6
    yap yap yap xenaprincess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    MBTI
    infp
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    663

    Default

    I don't mind being the center of attention among friends for short periods. I can be a little goofball with them and with complete strangers. I can mingle really well too, when in the right mood. I'm feel rather detached when it happens.

    I'm a leader in my building but I can't stand meeting with people to do it. I'm more a behind-the-scenes leader, more neurotically following up via email or creating running lists than leading a meeting. haha.

  7. #7
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    I am comfortable being the center of attention in small groups of people that I know well. And then, it's usually only when I am thrust into a leadership role such as hostess of an event.

    I sort of prefer being the catalyst for activities that other people can do, and then I can slip to the side to watch. When I am in charge of things, I feel responsible for the well-being of everyone involved. This puts a lot of pressure on me because I want to ascertain that everyone is having a good time, that they are comfortable, and that their needs are being met. I can handle such things in smaller groups, but once the group explodes to over 10, I get overwhelmed.

  8. #8
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    18

    Default

    I am the most introverted person I know (91% introversion), yet I do not mind being the center of attention, depending on the situation. When I am with friends, I am the one in the center of the room, sharing a story in vivid detail and wild gestures. I love to tell stories and I love to make people laugh. At work, I am extremely outgoing and have been noted to be the friendliest employee at many of my jobs in the past. I am a true people person.

    I am a natural leader, as well. I enjoy taking charge and being the one to make things happen. It comes easily to me. I believe the reason I enjoy this so much is because one of my deepest desires is to serve/help people, and if I can take charge and make something happen for them, then I will.

    People confuse being outgoing and a leader with extraversion. Introverts can be outgoing, sociable, resourceful leaders. I just need a lot of time to myself to recharge afterwards... a lot of time. As well, I know some extraverts who are very withdrawn and shy, but they need to be around people to energize them. They just lack the self-confidence to be themselves and come out of their shell.

  9. #9
    your resident asshole
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    4,406

    Default

    I am an introvert, but I actually like being the center of attention (unless it is for something embarrassing). Although for the most part I hate being the decision-maker of the group. I think that being uncomfortable with being the center of attention is more so an issue with confidence than anything else.

    Quote Originally Posted by lenoirvrai View Post
    I am a natural leader, as well. I enjoy taking charge and being the one to make things happen. It comes easily to me. I believe the reason I enjoy this so much is because one of my deepest desires is to serve/help people, and if I can take charge and make something happen for them, then I will.
    This is a very interesting thing for an INFP to say. It sounds more like Fe + something else.

    People confuse being outgoing and a leader with extraversion. Introverts can be outgoing, sociable, resourceful leaders. I just need a lot of time to myself to recharge afterwards... a lot of time. As well, I know some extraverts who are very withdrawn and shy, but they need to be around people to energize them. They just lack the self-confidence to be themselves and come out of their shell.
    I think the biggest difference between introversion and extraversion is energy output. Extraverts have a very high energy output and introverts have a very low energy output. Of course, this could be wrong...hence why I used the words "I think."

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    18

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyGeek View Post
    This is a very interesting thing for an INFP to say. It sounds more like Fe + something else.
    I think the reason I am so comfortable in leadership positions is because I grew up an only child and had to help take care of my mother since I was five years old. As I got older, she became more ill, and more responsibility fell on my shoulders, nevermind going to school and joining the civic theatre and orchestra and whatnot. I had to be a leader. Actually, Fi is my strongest function.

    Also, I'm a Disney geek, too! My girlfriend and I first met due to our love of Disney, actually. Haha. We were going to go to Disney next week (I'm giving her a commitment ring for her birthday, had a dinner with Lady Tramaine reserved and was going to give her the ring during the fireworks after dinner), but she has to work... despite asking for it off a year ago. Oh well, Olive Garden and a nice hotel will suffice. Anyway... DISNEY ROCKS! 8D

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INFPs, help! One of you is ruining ENTP´s non-existing feelings!
    By Roadkill in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-22-2016, 08:07 AM
  2. [INFP] INFPs, introverts and humor
    By paradox fox in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 42
    Last Post: 03-02-2010, 06:09 AM
  3. [INFP] INFPs - have any of you never considered suicide as a viable option?
    By EricHanson in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 12-13-2009, 03:49 AM
  4. [INFP] INFP's secret desire to be center of attention?
    By FaboVI in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 08-13-2009, 11:43 PM
  5. fear of being center of attention
    By prplchknz in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 31
    Last Post: 09-13-2008, 07:50 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO