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  1. #1
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Default INFJ or INTJ response to stress?

    I've been observing the behavior of this one woman for some time now. She is in a stressfull place and the sterss has been going on for some time now (around 6 months). I "know" that her type is INFJ or INTJ. I was wondering if her response to the stressfull situation is more typical to INFJ's or INTJs.

    Her stress behavior:
    She has become extremely emotional and gets really big emotional outbursts about things. She is still quite logical but her emotional response is not in line with subjects she talks about (it seems almost like something else is bothering her than what she talks about). She has become extremely picky on details while she is not normally like that (I mean she likes things are "the right way" but she isn't usually picky about details). She is rude to other people even if it's not her normal behavior. It seems that her main point these days is to show how wrong other people are. She isn't usually emotional at all (it's not seen) and she is usually very logical and sees the big picture.

    What do you say? Typical stress behavior of INFJ or INTJ?

  2. #2
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    What’s the source of the stress? Seems from a behavioural point of view, it could certainly be an INTJ Ni-Fi hissy fit or an INFJ trying to regain control. Or another type doing something else. Behaviour and MBTI sometimes aren’t the coziest of bedfellows, as any behaviour can be rationalized to any functional orientation.



  3. #3
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Work related stress. The persons type is definitely infj or intj. According to theory different types have different responses to stressful situations....?

  4. #4
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    Work related stress. The persons type is definitely infj or intj. According to theory different types have different responses to stressful situations....?
    Cognitively, sure, and while one’s cognition certainly influences behavior it’s not always a perfect tell, is all I’m saying. However, I’m going to contradict what I just said and say it seems ITJ. Fi in the tertiary position tends to make ITJs bitchy under stress. IFJs tend to just sort of shut down.



  5. #5
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    I've been observing the behavior of this one woman for some time now. She is in a stressfull place and the sterss has been going on for some time now (around 6 months). I "know" that her type is INFJ or INTJ. I was wondering if her response to the stressfull situation is more typical to INFJ's or INTJs.

    Her stress behavior:
    She has become extremely emotional and gets really big emotional outbursts about things. She is still quite logical but her emotional response is not in line with subjects she talks about (it seems almost like something else is bothering her than what she talks about). She has become extremely picky on details while she is not normally like that (I mean she likes things are "the right way" but she isn't usually picky about details). She is rude to other people even if it's not her normal behavior. It seems that her main point these days is to show how wrong other people are. She isn't usually emotional at all (it's not seen) and she is usually very logical and sees the big picture.

    What do you say? Typical stress behavior of INFJ or INTJ?
    I am an INTJ. The biggest difference I find between Ts and Fs when they are having outbursts of anger is that in an F, the outburst is more likely to be a personal attack meant to injure and harm the other person's feelings.

    An INTJ would insult someone's intelligence, "what an idiot" whereas the F types I have known, know how to make the dig intensely personal... stabbing you with a knife with YOUR NAME on it.

    I surmise this is because the F type is naturally good at "knowing" what I like or what is important to me, and so when they are mad at me, they choose to insult and belittle my most deeply held beliefs or cherished ideas. As far as I know, no "T" I have ever known has ever done that to me.

    So it's up to you to decide how "personal" these verbal attacks are.

    In Beside Ourselves by Naomi L. Quenk, in the chapter on INTJ/INFJ types under the section called Return of Equilibrium there are several suggestions for helping these 2 types when they are stressed, out of sorts, etc. These ideas might be helpful in this context, too.

    There's almost 2 pages, so there's more than I can type here.

    -they need space and a low-pressure environment
    -they are not amenable to suggestions and deny the possibility of alternatives
    -the worst thing others can do is give them advice

    -a change of scene or activity can help break the negative obsessive focus
    -being in peaceful, quiet, natural surroundings
    -getting something under control (I clean and organize sometimes)
    -expressions of understanding, sympathy and empathy help some (but not all Ni types)

  6. #6

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    Hi, INFJ here. The Quenk book is really good... also check out "Personality Types under Stress" floating around the web.

    A dead give away would be the cause of the stress... what triggered it? In my experience an INFJ and an INTJ can each sit back and be totally cool and calm in situations where the other could easily be a wreck. Figuring out what the person found stressful might be a clue to this.

    Other IFJ stress signs to add to the above: overindulgence (obsessive retreat into food, drink, too much TV).
    Basically calling on Se to come up to the plate after the Dom, Aux, and Tert functions have all failed and it feels like there's nothing else to try!! Luckily it's usually a short-term thing.

  7. #7
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I am an INTJ. The biggest difference I find between Ts and Fs when they are having outbursts of anger is that in an F, the outburst is more likely to be a personal attack meant to injure and harm the other person's feelings.

    An INTJ would insult someone's intelligence, "what an idiot" whereas the F types I have known, know how to make the dig intensely personal... stabbing you with a knife with YOUR NAME on it.

    I surmise this is because the F type is naturally good at "knowing" what I like or what is important to me, and so when they are mad at me, they choose to insult and belittle my most deeply held beliefs or cherished ideas. As far as I know, no "T" I have ever known has ever done that to me.

    So it's up to you to decide how "personal" these verbal attacks are.
    Ok, based on that, I would say she is INFJ. Definitely. There are huge negative emotional attacks going on.

    Quote Originally Posted by lostlanguage View Post
    A dead give away would be the cause of the stress... what triggered it? In my experience an INFJ and an INTJ can each sit back and be totally cool and calm in situations where the other could easily be a wreck. Figuring out what the person found stressful might be a clue to this.
    The problem is that I really don't know what triggered it. And because I cannot see any obvious reasons for the reaction, I would say there is some feelings included and then I would also say that she is INFJ. I have a gut feeling that it's something deeper, something very emotional, like feeling hurt because someting I cannot put my finger into.

  8. #8
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I'm overindulgent or avoidant under stress. I don't tend to attack other people. Just do things like buying celeb gossip magazines, junk food, sleep a lot or very little, watch mindless TV and so on.

  9. #9
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I'm overindulgent or avoidant under stress. I don't tend to attack other people. Just do things like buying celeb gossip magazines, junk food, sleep a lot or very little, watch mindless TV and so on.
    Maybe I'm making a wrong conclusion here ( her being INFJ), i don' t know. Lots of emotions included anyway.

  10. #10
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    My INFJ friend when under a lot of stress at work (she's had a few stressful periods over the past several years) says she just starts feeling super incompetent, isn't able to keep on top of things well, becomes more scatterbrained, but has never cited having emotional outbursts in front of others; if anything she becomes more withdrawn; I'd say from personal experience she also becomes more avoidant. She told me her 'outbursts' at work would involve going into the bathroom stalls and crying; so most of the emotion was tucked away from coworkers, it's just they would have noticed a decrease in the quality of her work and her being much more withdrawn.

    I have to think enneagram would also tie into this and there'd be variation based on enneagram type too.
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