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Thread: Difficulty being assertive to friends (INFJ)

  1. #41
    Senior Member Array cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    INFj None


    I did actually doorslam a friend over something like this. She invited herself over on short notice. I had plans, but they were plans that she and her kids could participate in, so I said it was okay to come. She was hours late getting into town, so I stayed up very late waiting for them to get in. If I'd known she was going to be that late I would have gone to bed.

    The activity went okay except it was exhausting (which it would have been regardless, but was a bit worse because of the lack of sleep the night before) and one of her kids seemed to intentionally break some of my kids' stuff (he was old enough to know banging it against a tree until it broke was not the proper use of the item). Then when we were back at my place and both of us were exhausted, she started criticizing the condition of my house (which was bad, but she knows I'm a terrible housekeeper and she came on short notice) and offering me unsolicited decorating advice.

    It was just kind of the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Talking about it all just seemed like more of an energy drain than it could possibly be worth, so I decided to chuck the relationship instead. I am very low-energy, so I tend to ration it jealously and somewhat selfishly, more so the older I get.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #42
    On a mission Array Usehername's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    If I had to ask someone to open their fridge, I would not be their friend.

    On the flipside, I expect people to open my cabinets and closets if they need an item and it's a logical place to look.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

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