I was taking the Oldham personality quiz thing and two of the questions I was asked to rate myself on made me realize things about myself.
1. I am intrigued by an underground kind of life where you can break the rules and get away with it.
2 .Even though I'm not sure I should be, I find myself fascinated by violence, weapons, and martial arts. I like TV shows with a lot of action and violence in them.
I have always been sort of fascinated by the anti-hero. Traditional "good guys" have never really gotten me rooting for them but I've always been captivated by characters that do good despite being imperfect or tormented themselves. Whenever I daydream about being some one else it's typically someone on the edge of society who is good but man not be seen that way.
Also I have a fascination with weapons. Guns especially I like to draw and paint, even though I am very opposed to the idea of everyday people having free access to them. There was a gun that came into out shop the other day and I couldn't tear myself away from it. Maybe because it's a mixture of design and function but also power? It was just really thrilling to look and and hold and tinker with.
I've always also been attracted to the idea of being in a gang or a mafia, or some other type of underground society. Obviously this is due to romantic notions of these things but it still intriguing why this is so, rather than day dreaming about being say highly respected and lauded and powerful.