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Thread: Question to INFP's, and capturing people with your eyes.

  1. #21
    thankful Array PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    937 so/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I think it's an interesting mix to listen intently & also resist outside influence on your feelings. Especially as a child, I was like a sponge or a spy - I soaked up a lot, I heard a lot, I observed a lot.... but it didn't directly affect me. This is probably Pe to some degree to & why Fi valuations aren't formed in a bubble. You note things, and Fi gives dignity to others by valuing them enough to listen, but it's your own internal scale that decides the weight of what's being heard. So it's like, someone says, "XYZ is important!" and what I take home is "XYZ" and decide what meaning it has. I notice many other people (usually Je types) will hear the same thing, but either reject or accept the importance of XYZ as a whole, not assigning it their own meaning. Since I'm not focused on rejecting/accepting when listening, I',m just, well, listening & this becomes apparent & sometimes attractive to the speaker.
    Yes, I like this - to me, it's listening without judgement, just soaking it in and dealing with what was heard later. I do agree it's very attractive to be listened to in this way, and I think I mentioned in this thread already that sometimes I have trouble maintaining focus the whole time, especially when I am aware the speaker has latched onto my attention. It then feels impolite to look away for any extended period, like that would infer some sort of rejection and may undermine their confidence in delivering the message. And I want to be sensitive to the speaker by not sending mixed messages to them. Being so aware (and continually affected) of all the information I receive from other people makes me want to send that reassurance to the speaker since public speaking is, for most people, challenging.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt

    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #22
    Gone Array Aesthete's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    1w2 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by Elfa View Post
    Sometimes. I had a physics teacher who kept such a long eye contact it made me feel very awkward. I didn't know if I should look somewhere else or not, so I kept looking - and he also kept looking at me. That was so weird.
    Yes, it feels odd when it happens. Most of the time I look in different directions, yet still listening - unless I'm really interested in what they're saying.
    Great men are like eagles, and build their nest on some lofty solitude.


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