Yeah, and I feel bad for phrasing it like this because it sounds so manipulative, but it's probably my main weapon in life as far as social interactions go. Like ENFPs are just magnetic and get people to gravitate towards them and listen to them, xNTJs can bitch slap you with logic, xSTJs can dig in and be stubborn as hell to get their way.
But INFPs are squishy, you know? Our sensitivity and the empathy we're so known for is internal, but eye contact is like a sniper shot. I've had people say it makes them feel like I'm really listening to them in ways nobody else does, or that I have puppy dog eyes that softens them... but whatever it is, when I look them straight in the eyes, it's completely disarming. I've calmed furious people down, I've started up conversations with it, I even had a professor give me an extension on a paper when I did it (I've made it a point not to do that now that I know I can =P)
It's like a harpoon straight to their soul that connects us. But like Southern Kross said, 95% of the time I don't look people in the eyes.
"Not knowing how near the truth is, we seek it far away." -Ekaku Hakuin
5w4 . IEI . Chaotic Good Right-Libertarian Minarchist
A lot of people are fascinated by my eyes. I've been told they are hypnotic and a few people said they were not able to keep their eyes off of mine. It was like witnessing one of natures most beautiful creations. I still blush at that compliment.
I also love to do crazy eye makeup, such as punk rocker, goth, animal designs, etc. The other day, I created butterfly wings. One wing on each eye. Many people came up to me that day and said how gorgeous I looked.
I don't like eye contact, though. You'd think I wouldn't bring attention to my eyes, but for some reason I do. I think makeup is too much fun. Still, I do not like looking anyone in the eye, nor do I like them looking at me for longer than a few seconds. It makes me very uncomfortable.
I'm not an INFP, but I used to get this at school. Then again, I used to stare directly at their eyes when I was bored (99.995% of lessons, and I'm not overrating this) and didn't feel like drawing squares or robots from squares (). Or writing some odd text (game name, dev studio name, latin word, odd derivative, whatever came to my mind at the moment)... And of course when I didn't skip class to do something I actually enjoy and get something useful out of.
At first I used to think that either I look at them at that moment or that they have something to say about me, etc.. It feels... Odd when they look at you, especially if they give you a strange, sort of dreamy and deep look. But hey, they don't know that I'm trying as hard as I can to not fall asleep and study their body language and facial expressions instead.
Heh yes. Can basically confirm what others have said. I don't know if I'm particularly exposed to this, but as I don't tend to take notes, and instead look at lecturers/tutors/whoever I guess that might make them latch on to me a bit more, but then again, because I don't actually like eye contact I probably notice it more - I get very uneasy if they do start looking back and have to look down instead. But I suspect I probably have a tendency to look rather enthralled...
I love making eye contact with people because I feel like the eyes are what give people life and it makes me feel close to them. For most, it's the only non-neutral colour on their body. Also, eyes move around a lot and are very dominantly used to take in information. You could look at someone's eyes and tell what they're looking at and therefore, sometimes tell what they're thinking.
Many people have told me they feel like I'm looking into their soul, maybe that's a mixture of eye contact + zoning out haha
At lectures in particular, I either make a ton of eye contact if I agree with them, or I don't listen (or pretend not to pay attention) if I don't agree with them to make a point of my approval or disapproval. Now thinking about it, it's actually very rude and I feel kinda bad about it haha
But if it's the former I often feel they're looking at me the most. Maybe it's rooted in self-centeredness though
At lectures in particular, I either make a ton of eye contact if I agree with them, or I don't listen (or pretend not to pay attention) if I don't agree with them to make a point of my approval or disapproval.
Heh - I do this as well. I don't really like eye contact unless I'm both interested in what someone is saying, and in agreement.
I think this may be connected to the "listening" gift that Nardi notes in Fi-dom.
I really, really listen when other people speak. Sure, like any human there are times I'm distracted, daydreaming, or focusing on my own thoughts, but it's not hard for me to become engrossed by a speaker, whether one-on-one or in a crowd. I'm sure I LOOK focused & maybe a tad hypnotized (although I'm not really influenced that easily), and this sort of sucks the person speaking in as much as I've been pulled in to them. In social situations, this can be creepy to people though (I won't elaborate on that here).
When it's a crowd, I think the speaker sees you're one of the people intently listening, and then it's natural for them to start focusing on you (and speakers often, whether naturally or because it's recommended, choose a face or a few to focus on as a technique). So then, as the one listening, you notice they're looking at you a lot. There's eye contact.
I think it's an interesting mix to listen intently & also resist outside influence on your feelings. Especially as a child, I was like a sponge or a spy - I soaked up a lot, I heard a lot, I observed a lot.... but it didn't directly affect me. This is probably Pe to some degree to & why Fi valuations aren't formed in a bubble. You note things, and Fi gives dignity to others by valuing them enough to listen, but it's your own internal scale that decides the weight of what's being heard. So it's like, someone says, "XYZ is important!" and what I take home is "XYZ" and decide what meaning it has. I notice many other people (usually Je types) will hear the same thing, but either reject or accept the importance of XYZ as a whole, not assigning it their own meaning. Since I'm not focused on rejecting/accepting when listening, I',m just, well, listening & this becomes apparent & sometimes attractive to the speaker.
"Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure