[INFJ] INFJ guys, what kind of girls do you end up with?

[A_priori]

So being an INFJ male myself, I am curious to know what kind of girls do other INFJ males find themselvs with? I find for myself, I tend to end up in relationships where my partner is co dependent. I guess I get involved in the relationships that allow me to be the directive one and have the safty net of being less needy. Lol, I guess it's kinda silly but seriously the more I think about it, the more I wonder what kind of partners do other INFJ males find themselves with??

 

[A_priori]

Well I guess this goes to show how many INFJ males there are on this forum. Hmm

 

[Riva]

Well I guess this goes to show how many INFJ males there are on this forum. Hmm

Haha there are a few INFJ males here. You can summon them if you wish to by using the @ function. Some of the ones I've encountered are - Peguy, Evan, Billy, Apollanaut, Skyward Skyward...

Hmmm.... come to think of it they (except Peguy) aren't that active at all.

Sorry A_priori you are indeed almost alone.

 

[A_priori]

lol, I kind of figured so..

Thank you Riva for the response!

 

[a24kar]

Most of the relationships I've been in could also be classified as co-dependent. I imagine this stems from the INFJ's deep desire to help and empower those around them. Ni allows us to see issues, and Fe gives us the ability to communicate those issues in a compassionate way. I've dated an INFP for 3 years, ENFJ for 2 years, ENTP for 1 year, and an INTP for 3 months. Each relationship had it's advantages and disadvantages. Though, if you end up dating an INTP I'd encourage some reading about them. In my singular 3 month experience, her emotional side was incredibly absent and I was taken aback when learning that she was not emotionally attached to me at all. (relatively speaking)

 

[Esoteric Wench]

You should have tried an ENFP. We're yummy all over.

 

[_eric_]

You should have tried an ENFP. We're yummy all over.

I bet they are! What's your flavor?

I've always been very drawn to INFPs and ENFPs, more so INFPs so far. The only relationship I've been in was with an INFP, it was her first relationship as well. It lasted for three years, and was quite wonderful, though not perfect of course.

10/10 would totally do it again.

Most of the relationships I've been in could also be classified as co-dependent. I imagine this stems from the INFJ's deep desire to help and empower those around them. Ni allows us to see issues, and Fe gives us the ability to communicate those issues in a compassionate way.

Yep yep!

 

[Stanton Moore]

My sister is married to an INFJ. She is EXTJ.

 

[the state i am in]

a lot with infps, although the best relationships i've had have been with intj and entp. i find T calming, especially when it is coming from emotionally intelligent nt types. i have been with ones who have been wise, patient, and giving. feeling confident about the collective problem-solving ability when dealing with pragmatic and self-based issues is a pretty awesome feeling. it motivates me to keep doing my best, because i believe in the potential.

 

[HeartOfPeace]

My SO is another INFJ. I love her to pieces.

 

[Ene]

Hmmm...very interesting, HeartofPeace. Just prior to reading your post I was thinking, "why not two INFJs?" I think it would be awesome to be paired with another INFJ or even an INTJ who happened to have worked on developing weaker functions.

 

[Cellmold]

I'll let you know if it ever happens.

 

[Skyward]

Haha there are a few INFJ males here. You can summon them if you wish to by using the @ function. Some of the ones I've encountered are - Peguy, Evan, Billy, Apollanaut, Skyward Skyward...

Hmmm.... come to think of it they (except Peguy) aren't that active at all.

Sorry A_priori you are indeed almost alone.

I AM BACK (Repeat my name twice and I shall appear!)

Anywho

I dont ever 'end up with' anyone. Friends is what I end up with. I am a lot more outgoing now and much less awkward than the previous Skyward you might see posting back at least 2 years ago. Still, i end up doubting myself or simply forgetting to follow up. i also seem to be avoided. I rarely have been the target of teasing, and rarely am I that friend that people contact first. I wonder why

 

[the state i am in]

i think it gets better. the nt women become less emotionally retarded, and we become less exhaustingly undefined (T retarded). it's easier then to find roles that make sense, that help progress rather than derail the story that needs to be told.

other times a heavy to mild codependent relationship defined by a values-based connection, especially to a similarly withdrawing introvert can work out if there is enough mutual physical attraction or life circumstances effectively jostle us up enough and together to make something happen despite our best self-protective interests to prevent that. it can be really great, but you gotta find some T from somewhere.

furthermore, this is more with respect to the misunderstood, awkward, outcasted infjs. often by their own unwillingness to let go enough to truly appreciate the process of socialization, or without the resources to help them find their way and find something to build on while still coping with the ongoing process of disillusionment that must accompany all experience. setbacks and all.

 

[mintleaf]

My dad is an INFJ and married to my mom, an ESFJ.

They have some major dissimilarities, but they're both very level-headed, contemplative and compassionate. They've both been involved in advocacy/ministry and have worked extremely well together; in social settings, my mom's gregariousness makes up for my dad's formality, and my dad's assertiveness makes up for my mom's dislike of conflict.

 

[TheStarchDefenders]

My favorite relationship was probably with an ESTP.

 

[A_priori]

My favorite relationship was probably with an ESTP.

Ya ESTP girls are prty hard to come by but Its funny that you say that because my longest relationship was thin an ESTP. The girls that I have been involved with include ISFP, ESTP, ISFJ, ESTP, ISFJ, ENTJ and ENTP. The types that I found to be best matched were the T types excluding the ENTJ who was to overly SX and abrasive. I think personally the best match for an INFJ male might be ISTJs, ENTPs,ESTJs and INFJ. Although I have only conformed 3 girls that i have known to be INFJs they seem to have a specific allure about them. I also think it would prty amazing if an INFJ male could hook up with an INTJ female but good luck finding one! INTP girls are prty intriguing also but I think they would eventually get board with us.

Cheers

 

[TheStarchDefenders]

Ya ESTP girls are prty hard to come by but Its funny that you say that because my longest relationship was thin an ESTP. The girls that I have been involved with include ISFP, ESTP, ISFJ, ESTP, ISFJ, ENTJ and ENTP. The types that I found to be best matched were the T types excluding the ENTJ who was to overly SX and abrasive. I think personally the best match for an INFJ male might be ISTJs, ENTPs,ESTJs and INFJ. Although I have only conformed 3 girls that i have known to be INFJs they seem to have a specific allure about them. I also think it would prty amazing if an INFJ male could hook up with an INTJ female but good luck finding one! INTP girls are prty intriguing also but I think they would eventually get board with us.

Cheers

I think ISTP females are pretty awesome too. I agree that Ts are the best bet. Met an INTJ female I was interested in once, but she had a bf

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I'm curious what people think an INFJ-INFJ relationship would be like, and how it would come to be. It's so rare to find INFJs, that it is somehow difficult for me to imagine it, but I think symmetry is really important in relationships, so similar types might be ideal. Symmetry can also be formed with differences, if they are somehow equivalent and the interaction style works out to have a power balance.

I think strong INFJs are pretty sensitive and introverted and so it is difficult for them to approach each other to make a relationship happen. Anyway, it would be interesting to hear what people think about this pairing in particular.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

One of my closest irl friends is an INFJ in a relationship with another INFJ. They've been living together for several years now. And she says pretty much what I'd expect- having the same blind spots in common makes for an unfortunate handicap sometimes. I've had an ENFJ guy friend forever that I've never even been tempted to be in a relationship with because I feel as though we see the world too similarly. We agree about practically everything. We have the same strengths and the same weaknesses. While it is important to have support when things are difficult for us- too much of the opposite influence can be invalidating because people often (inadvertently) trivialize challenges they don't understand- there's something about being close to someone with the same weakness that actually makes a task seem more daunting....it's like having support in being agitated by it, making the aversion seem more reasonable or something- rather than having support (or someone loaded with handy tips who can easily be a coach) in getting over it.

[And this isn't to say this is how I see it playing out for all INFJs- I'm just saying this is how I'd see it playing out for me, and how my friend has told me it actually has ended up playing out for her.]