User Tag List

First 45678 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 105

  1. #51
    resonance entropie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    783
    Posts
    16,761

    Default

    yea there we can see our different cultural backgrounds. someone who tries coming off as more knowledge able around here would be joked about pretty quickly

  2. #52
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,565

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    It does if we get to grass roots and the core is tainted, the facade peeled away reveals something less than attractive, ugly even. Most often my instincts are to fix but sometimes it is beyond my own capabilities.
    Those of us, or at least some of us, who are very private and don't share much are often motivated by the fear that this is exactly the reaction we will get. That if we do let someone in, they will be put off by what they find, and all the effort it took to open up to them will be lost, leaving us with only unwanted exposure.

    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    This creates a social dichotomy between extreme private and completely exposed. This is the huge problem with trying to create friendships and just interact in the world because so much of social interaction does not exist on either end of that spectrum.
    I notice this as well. Professional interactions are easy and comfortable. True openness with a few close friends is quite thrilling. The rest is a no-man's-land of ambiguity and dissatisfaction, the latter probably on the other person's side since I tend to default to a professional and impersonal style when there is no basis for openness.

    Quote Originally Posted by _Poki_ View Post
    Its so strange to think that just paying attention is insight. I guess to me its considered common knowledge. Maybe that is insight. I dont attribute it to being an N trait though. Its definately not intuition.
    Insight is more than paying attention; it is being able to understand and interpret what you see. There is a quote somewhere about looking at what everyone else is looking at, but seeing what the others don't see. I can pay attention to people all day and not come up with 10% of the reliable conclusions that other people (usually NF's??) will make. If I did that routinely, I probably would get better at it, but it is not my natural gift.

    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post
    Ah, cool. I'd say that the answer to your question is: yes! Coming across as knowledgeable--or even as arrogant--can be a tactic in social dynamics.
    Yes, there is a time for deliberate, willful arrogance, but this approach must be used selectively, with care.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #53
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    STP
    Posts
    10,501

    Default

    i dont know. I have never been as impressed as people make it seem. Maybe they are and i just dont realize it. I seem more like we are fairly even playing grounds.
    Im out, its been fun

  4. #54
    ReflecTcelfeR
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by metalmommy View Post
    There's a big difference between blindly stabbing and seeing something without all the context. There are times when I can see someone has stuffed feelings about something, but I don't yet know why. Understanding is a process that is not always so easily negotiated. I don't need to blindly stab, nor would I. That seems to imply that I'm either seeking to hurt someone, or I don't know people at all. Neither is true.

    I am referencing the fact that you say that you often don't realize you've seen it. That's not insight, because insight is clarity which means you would see that and not be so careless with the information. Also because you meet a wall does not mean you have gained insight into the person.

    In fact walls can imply that you've actually reached nowhere. An outer boundary where their feelings don't extend.

    Beyond that, what makes you think that you have the ability to reach a place in people that others don't? You might simply be the only one motivated to search, which may or may not be special, I do not know, but being an INFJ does not necessarily give you this ability.

  5. #55
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    yea there we can see our different cultural backgrounds. someone who tries coming off as more knowledge able around here would be joked about pretty quickly
    Oh, yeah. To clarify: I'm not claiming about whether or not it's the right thing to do, just that it is a tactic.

    As you imply, the tactic can severely backfire, too--so, in extremes, it's not even prudent, let alone conscientious.

    Lots of people use the tactic, even subconsciously or pathologically as a force of habit, to artificially create distance between themselves and the world. That's a flaw that.. you know, they should think about fixing.

  6. #56

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by momental View Post
    I am referencing the fact that you say that you often don't realize you've seen it. That's not insight, because insight is clarity which means you would see that and not be so careless with the information. Also because you meet a wall does not mean you have gained insight into the person.

    In fact walls can imply that you've actually reached nowhere. An outer boundary where their feelings don't extend.

    Beyond that, what makes you think that you have the ability to reach a place in people that others don't? You might simply be the only one motivated to search, which may or may not be special, I do not know, but being an INFJ does not necessarily give you this ability.
    No, I said I don't immediately realize that what I've seen is something that the person does not wish to have seen. What I see is not all-encompassing. I don't see all the context, the entirety of the emotion surrounding that piece, or why they may be in denial/stuffing said piece.

    And there is no way to predict how someone will react to having that item seen. Some people are horrified & erect a wall, some are tentative & wish to discuss further, everyone is different. And it takes time to see how. It's like if you see food in someone's teeth. Most people don't want that seen, but you did. Now what? Do you tell them? Do you ignore it? Will they be mad if you do/don't say something? This is a vastly over-simplified example, but it helps to illustrate my point.

    I also never said I was "special" and could do things no one else can do. Clearly that is not true. I don't see things because I'm looking for them, either. They're just there. It's a culmination of what is said, how it is said, what is not said. I cannot unsee them, either. It just is. You know, the whole iNtuitive thing.

    And reaching a wall? Provides tremendous insight. Walls are erected to protect something, which is only necessary if someone wants to protect it. A lot of information can be gleaned from what people don't say, what they want to protect or hide.

  7. #57
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    I think some people try not be known because they want to be seen as special (which, paradoxically, stems from a desire to be known in its own right).
    Yes, I would agree with this.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    My problem is more with being able to predict how things are going to turn out if a person takes a particular action. Sometimes this is not that much of a super power -- anybody can see it. Sometimes my guesses are more accurate than the average bear's.
    I think INFJ's are particularly adept at this, yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by metalmommy View Post
    It's like if you see food in someone's teeth. Most people don't want that seen, but you did. Now what? Do you tell them? Do you ignore it? Will they be mad if you do/don't say something?
    Maybe you could share a "real life" example? Would be interesting to dissect it, esp from the NFJ / NFP vantage points.

    And reaching a wall? Provides tremendous insight. Walls are erected to protect something, which is only necessary if someone wants to protect it. A lot of information can be gleaned from what people don't say, what they want to protect or hide.
    I agree with your primary definition of the purpose of a wall being one of protection. Safety within, invaders stay out. Yet walls are erected for more reasons than that, imo. Personally I hide info from the "general public" just for pure convenience at times, not because I am sorely trying to protect anything. Sometimes it is necessary for my opinion to remain concealed in order to bring other's opinions out of the woodwork. Sometimes I am working through stuff on my own time and wish to retain personal privacy to that process. Eh, you get the idea.

    Occasionally too, fascinatingly, what I initially perceive as a wall in another turns out to be the end of the road on that topic. It's just ... as far as their personal projection extends. Nothing else there. Could the wall be pushed against to see what would happen if it fell? Sure. But that would be making something happen rather than revealing something hidden. Perceptual difference.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #58
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    5,625

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by metalmommy View Post
    No, I said I don't immediately realize that what I've seen is something that the person does not wish to have seen. What I see is not all-encompassing. I don't see all the context, the entirety of the emotion surrounding that piece, or why they may be in denial/stuffing said piece.

    And there is no way to predict how someone will react to having that item seen. Some people are horrified & erect a wall, some are tentative & wish to discuss further, everyone is different. And it takes time to see how. It's like if you see food in someone's teeth. Most people don't want that seen, but you did. Now what? Do you tell them? Do you ignore it? Will they be mad if you do/don't say something? This is a vastly over-simplified example, but it helps to illustrate my point.

    I also never said I was "special" and could do things no one else can do. Clearly that is not true. I don't see things because I'm looking for them, either. They're just there. It's a culmination of what is said, how it is said, what is not said. I cannot unsee them, either. It just is. You know, the whole iNtuitive thing.

    And reaching a wall? Provides tremendous insight. Walls are erected to protect something, which is only necessary if someone wants to protect it. A lot of information can be gleaned from what people don't say, what they want to protect or hide.

    Please know that I totally realize this is not representative of how you feel...but the OP does sorta read in a way like...'people are put-off by my magical abilities to see into their soul'. <--- And this is the (sole) reason they erect walls (there doesn't appear to be any other possibility - at least given). That it is somehow the other person's inability to discuss or admit what you must feel they should be able to discuss or admit on your time (or why else would you have thrown these insights out there?).

    I can't imagine one would be provided with such great insight into an individual yet not be able to gauge at what level the individual is comfortable discussing these insights.

  9. #59

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Starry View Post
    Please know that I totally realize this is not representative of how you feel...but the OP does sorta read in a way like...'people are put-off by my magical abilities to see into their soul'. <--- And this is the (sole) reason they erect walls (there doesn't appear to be any other possibility - at least given). That it is somehow the other person's inability to discuss or admit what you must feel they should be able to discuss or admit on your time (or why else would you have thrown these insights out there?).

    I can't imagine one would be provided with such great insight into an individual yet not be able to gauge at what level the individual is comfortable discussing these insights.
    I have realized over the last 6 pages of replies that I probably did not communicate myself completely clearly. This has been a progression of understanding over my lifetime. When I was young, I didn't understand people well enough to judge when I should say something & when I shouldn't. Experience has taught me how to behave in many circumstances. There are still those that surprise me tho.

    As I have hopefully clarified, I see pieces without context sometimes...or without enough context...and through the course of conversation, they become aware that I've seen. Not necessarily because I've blurted out my observation, but perhaps from the context of a question or something I say.

    I don't think it's a magical ability, but it is an ability. There are just times that I happen upon things that were supposed to be camouflaged and I don't immediately realize that there was supposed to be camouflage. The "oops!" side of NF interpersonal relations, if you will. They're opportunities for learning, but sometimes those opportunities come at a cost when people freak out that you've inadvertently exposed something.

  10. #60
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    937 so/sx
    Posts
    6,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by metalmommy View Post
    There are just times that I happen upon things that were supposed to be camouflaged and I don't immediately realize that there was supposed to be camouflage. The "oops!" side of NF interpersonal relations, if you will.
    We need examples! Share some examples! Please? Prettyplease?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Similar Threads

  1. Does your energy ever get drained around certain people?
    By Destiny in forum Philosophy and Spirituality
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 11-16-2014, 09:21 PM
  2. [ENTP] ENTP's: Does your brainstorming method anger people?
    By The Great One in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-27-2013, 04:00 PM
  3. [NT] Does your Intuition ever scare people?
    By ThatGirl in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 09-29-2011, 11:51 AM
  4. [INFJ] What does your word mean?
    By nightning in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 09-02-2009, 09:34 PM
  5. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 02-01-2008, 12:24 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO