User Tag List

Results 1 to 7 of 7

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    2 so/sx
    Posts
    455

    Default My thoughts are not worth sharing

    I feel awkward talking about the things I believe in and feel like people get bored or are not accepting of what I am saying.

    I feel like whatever idea or thought I share might be something possibly wrong for the other person, or not positive for them or would impose my own experience on another, or prevent them from sensing what is true for them, or robbing people of an opportunity to make their own path.

    Sometimes I'm pretty sure that I am right but I feel terribly reluctant to say it out loud. Even when I honestly believe it can help people I find myself self-censoring.

    This is a new sensation to me.


    I'd be happy to hear about similar experiences and what they taught you.

  2. #2
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTj
    Posts
    6,243

    Default

    I think your analysis is spot on.
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  3. #3
    ... Tyrinth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    649 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    1,173

    Default

    Well... The trick for me is that I generally don't care what other people think about what I'm thinking. If I think it's worth sharing I'll share it, even if it makes others uncomfortable. I'm not saying this is something you should do, but that's how it works for me.

    The thing is, people are going to take their own path regardless of what you say, so just give your two cents, and go on with your day.

    Though, I'll admit, self-censoring is something I do often, and is something which can actually be very important...

    Being wrong only really matters for objective topics. Whenever something is subjective or an opinion is in play, you really can't be wrong, despite what some NTs would have you believe. So just say and stick with what you believe in. Everyone's opinion is valid/matters, that doesn't mean you have to agree with it.

    I think I'm starting to tangent, so I'll stop.
    ...

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    2 so/sx
    Posts
    455

    Default

    Only one person?

  5. #5
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    I believe that if you think something might be positive for someone, barring any major foreseeable conflict, you should share it. People have full free will in terms of whether or not to act on your opinion. If they decide it is worth listening to, and it doesn't work out for them, that's their problem, not yours. There are so many greedy, self-promoting sources spewing out possibly-not-even-close-to-true information (self-absorbed people, advertisements, corporations, etc.) that a genuine, well-thought-out opinion from a sincere, concerned individual is almost always guaranteed to be a boon.

  6. #6
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,932

    Default

    I feel like whatever idea or thought I share might be something possibly wrong for the other person, or not positive for them or would impose my own experience on another, or prevent them from sensing what is true for them, or robbing people of an opportunity to make their own path.
    Interesting. I take this approach on religious matters (unless people ask my opinion directly).
    I'd be happy to hear about similar experiences and what they taught you.
    With other subjects, I just try to make it obvious when I'm talking about my opinion or about a theory.

    And I try to give people the full picture.

    Like, if I'm talking about mbti, I'll mention that it helps with self understanding, but I'll also mention that there are people who end up using it to justify their shortcomings instead of trying to improve themselves.

    Also, it helps to have an idea of how clever the other person is.

  7. #7
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Istbkleta View Post
    I feel like whatever idea or thought I share might be something possibly wrong for the other person, or not positive for them or would impose my own experience on another, or prevent them from sensing what is true for them, or robbing people of an opportunity to make their own path.
    Is this a Ti-ish thing and perhaps an internal recognition that Ti is in some sense tied to an individuals identity? thus you should be cautious in how you share the idea so that it doesnt not overtly constrain their own definition of themselves? (But how does what one does define identity? what one thinks? I can sort of see a dot-to-dot pattern in TPs, but I cant "feel" the internal experience that embodies this with a sense of self...)

    I am exactly the same as you, expect it is not with ideas but with feelings and values. I feel extremely awkward in sharing a strongly held value stance-and will do so only in hesitant terms which are very cautious not to encrouch upon the other person's feelings. Thus often I say nothing. They have the right to determine what they would like to feel on a topic and have the right to the internal emotions that give rise to their values. because those feelings are so closely tied to internal motivation, it is really, really rude to try and overtly influence them directly-like I am invalidating their own sense of identity-invalidating them as a person. I may not feel the same as them, but if I cannot convince them with data to see a situation in a different way, it isnt my place to tell them they are wrong (or god forbid "unhealthy"), as much as just agree to disagree. Or even ask why they feel they way they do to learn more about their perspective-maybe they can teach me something.

    (Ideas are nothing like this-they are more like beach balls that I just throw in the air-I dont care if they are right or wrong-there is nothing personal in them. I love nothing more than a combative discussion where my ideas get beaten up)

    Rather than my thoughts are not worth sharing-it is that my values are not worth sharing. <<There is something telling there about a sense of self-worth.

    Additionally there is a notion that while my feeling may be very important (even "RIGHT"), that I should quell them from and give others the freedom to feel differently, even if it makes my gut tense and offends me-as you would allow them the freedom of ideas, even if wrong<<There is something about maturity and recognition of the group needs over our own inner world/ego....

    (sorry to sound self-focused-I see a mirror in my experiences that may be of value as it reflects your experiences-basically yes what you feel is shared by others in similar ways)

    (Is this your your inner Fe shrug?)

    Hope that was helpful

Similar Threads

  1. Here are my thought patterns - Type ME PLEASE
    By skeptic in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-30-2014, 07:58 PM
  2. [INTP] How can I share my thoughts nicer?
    By pv255 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 04-19-2012, 02:26 AM
  3. I thought I knew my tritype, guess not..Help?!
    By Black Hole Sun in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-07-2011, 03:00 PM
  4. [MBTItm] Convincing someone that they are not an INTP
    By prplchknz in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 56
    Last Post: 01-14-2008, 02:23 PM
  5. My thoughts on the I phone
    By Opivy1980 in forum Science, Technology, and Future Tech
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 07-09-2007, 06:38 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO