[MBTI General] XNFPs are you dependable?

[Amargith]

(and yeah the term loyal was never in dispute)
sources?

My Fi.

 

[Ivy]

Yes. If I agree to something, I will do it. If I can't do it, I won't agree to do it.

Like greenfairy said, I can be forgetful, but I have multiple safety nets built in so I won't flake out on stuff, because being dependable is important to me.

 

[EcK]

My Fi.

As far as I know data doesnt seem to back your Fi up.

the only diff i can see so far is that dependable seems to be more used to describe people and reliable: things.

 

[Amargith]

As far as I know data doesnt seem to back your Fi up.

the only diff i can see so far is that dependable seems to be more used to describe people while reliable things.

Then just disregard my contribution in this thread. There should be enough here to still have enough data for the conclusion of the OP.

 

[Seymour]

Then just disregard my contribution in this thread. There should be enough here to still have enough data for the conclusion of the OP.

I thought the distinction you laid out was a useful one, whether or not it's represented in the formal definition of the terms. I certainly related to your post personally.

 

[skylights]

I related with @Amargith's post, too, even though our specifications are a little different. I personally interpret dependability as whether you can be counted on; reliability as whether you will follow through; and loyalty as whether you will continue to support someone/thing regardless of what others think.

By my own definitions, I would say I am moderately dependable, very reliable, and very loyal but only to those who are very close to me. The key to making me trustworthy in general is getting me to formally agree to a formal event or role - clear date, time, game plan, responsibilities. Anything casual I'm going to deal with mostly on my own terms and you can forget spur-of-the-moment dependability entirely unless you're a really close friend. On the other hand, if you are a close friend, close family, or my significant other, I will drop almost anything immediately to be with you or help you.

My most significant weakness in terms of dependability is probably that I REALLY prioritize people hierarchically, and very much avoid making plans with more distant relations to leave opportunity for plans with SO, family, or best friends. I'll usually only use the time when my highest-ranking people are unavailable to make plans with the lower-ranking. I tend to run 5-10 minutes late for casual or spur-of-the-moment plans - I'm not the best time guesstimator - and I am likely to get distracted and ditch internet conversations for long periods of time. With email conversations and PMs, I get in too deep too fast, realize I'm not ready to commit, and then go running for the hills. I apologize if I've done that to anyone who's reading this!

My strongest point is probably that I am very good with formalized plans. I am a good planner and coordinator, good at fulfilling my responsibilities, good at taking on my fair share and then some as needed, good about being early to prep, good at putting in effort, good at following through, and good at maintaining communication throughout. I will never ditch during or just before a planned event, I'm tactful, good at handling a wide range of social situations, and level-headed in a crisis. I really hate dumping work on other people and tend to be a workaholic (which is sort of a double-edged sword because that can cut into time with my SO and family). And contrary to FP stereotype, during the in-between times, I am good with keeping in regular contact. Even if that is mostly because I enjoy Facebook stalking so much.

 

[violet_crown]

One of my closest friends from college is ENFP, and I feel the process of keeping up with her over the years since graduation is fairly indicative of my experience with NFP dependability. It can be utterly maddening keeping up with her because she regularly forgets or stands me up for phone dates, drops out in the middle of text conversations, and can take ages to reply to Facebook messages or emails. But the thing about her is that I know if I had a real problem, or was genuinely concerned about something, there's no one who'd be more supportive. So I think it comes down to how you define "dependable". NFPs can be flakey when it comes to action. They like being able to say "yes", but aren't necessarily keen on follow through. But in terms of loyalty/having your back in a given situation, there's few to none who surpass them.

 

[Stanton Moore]

I am very dependable at work. I'm considered the 'smart guy'. Everyone comes to me for issues they can't resolve by themselves.
I suppose it would be nice for some to live in a simplified world were everything and every human action could be contained and predicted based by a 4 letter code, but reality doesn't work that way.

 

[Eckhart]

Don't know. If dependable means that I will appear when it was planned that we would meet up somewhere or so, then I am not dependable if it was a plan I was not comfortable with in the first place and only agreed on because of pressure.

If someone asked me for help and I said I would help or if they invite me to something I agreed on immediately, then I stick to it. If it in general is something I know I can help with, I will always help.

When I come to a set meeting, then I never come late.

More things I don't find to talk about.

 

[entropie]

dependable comes from dependant. People who tell you that you aint dependable, aint independent. No good friends for me those would be more like kids I need to care for.

 

[Lady_X]

You can certainly depend on us to be exactly how we are

No really... I try my best not to commit if I'm uncertain I can do it.

 

[King sns]

I'm fairly dependable. I rarely make commitments that I'm not sure that I can follow, and if I do, it's more like- "maybe but i'll have to check blah blah blah." I'm generally there for the pivotal moments in important people's lives. (Hospital stays, weddings, you get the idea- people with things going on always have top priority.)

I always tend to have a little too many people in my life though so I can go a while without answering texts or phone calls or whatever. I virtually never remember birthdays and don't send cards EVER for any reason unless I'm visiting them in the hospital. I make a lot of non committal statements like "sometime we could blah blah blah" with very little follow through. If I said I'm doing it for sure, I am.

But I'm virtually always late.

 

[mmhmm]

i don't really like to be depended on, but if i
sincerely offer, then sure. i hardly do it though.
and even when i do offer, it's very much on
my timeline.

however, i'm rarely late for appointments as
i hate waiting for other people. and i
find being late all the time is just inconsiderate.

but i also find making appointments at retarded
hours just as inconsiderate. i send lovely emails
like 'you and outlook can go fuck yourselves for
setting up an 8am meeting, DECLINE DECLINE.'

i rarely go into the office before 10.30am
and i work on average 80 hour weeks.

as for friends. i see them like once a year.
that's all the keeping in touch i really need
to do. if you're in, you're in. very simple.

 

[chickpea]

you can't depend on chana, but you can depend on chana to be chana

 

[Ginkgo]

It's like I'm either too dependable and devoted or just completely absent. I think that the issue with Ps (contrary to poopular belief) is that they're focused; they're just too focused on one thing at a time to focus on their direction itself for a satisfying length of time. So my worst qualities include getting bogged down on one object with inferior Te oppressing everything in the periphery.

I think I'm dependable as far as cranking out ideas for projects &/or listening. Honestly, my aversion to saying "no" is one of my greatest weaknesses because it means that personal priorities are seen as equal and indistinguishable from each other, rather than ranked. I'm working on this; a belligerent sort of "no" is accompanied by just as many problems as passive silence or an insincere "yes". Ideally, my priority is setting impersonal boundaries independent of the physical world. Yes, the actual act of setting a boundary in motion may breathe life into your overall attitude, but since one's attitude shapes the imagination, one may easily imagine impersonal boundaries taking form without physically acting. In fact, an independent change of attitude is a sure-fire way of accessing the riches of the inferior function because it demands that we avoid projecting shit on the environment.

Tbh, I think that dependable people are seen more as though they are furniture or upholstery than humans who are fighting their own battles like every lively person in a given situation.

 

[Thursday]

Despite my penchant for mischief, I am responsible and adamant about it. Times, contingencies, and getting it done are something I over-do.

 

[BlueScreen]

If it really, really matters, yes. If it could possibly be seen as not important enough to really focus on and remember, or if I don't have a reminder, I might forget. I'm good at apologising though .

 

[CreativeCait]

When I'm stressed or overwhealmed yes, I can make errors. I once forgot to go to a meeting and pick up a friend from the airport on the same day. Oh, and I didn't answer my phone. I'm always wondering off and forgetting about it. Or forgetting to charge it. Or turn the silent setting off. People who live next to their phones amaze me. How? How do they do it?

When I am consumed by an idea or thinking it is like time stops and everything gets kinda fuzzy. This happens when I'm in the middle of writing, research or creating art of some kind. It becomes the priority and everything else falls away. I'm walking through the motions of my life and my routine but I'm not there. In this state I may act vague, my hair may look bizzzare and I may be an average of 5-15mins late. I may also not really recall what happened afterwards.

On the other hand, I make things happen. It just has to be a priority to me. It has to be in my diary. If I'm headlining it, I'm on it. If it's not my responsibility I only remember vaguely. In this case I need, yet detest reminders.

If I start to notice that my tardiness hurts your heart I will try, try my darndest to be on-time next time.

Basically dependability requires me to actively be "on duty" and is an exhausting mental state. My natural state is for me to get consumed thinking or doing things and loosing track of reality.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

They are often dependent, but seldom dependables.

 

[skylights]

I think that the issue with Ps (contrary to poopular belief) is that they're focused; they're just too focused on one thing at a time to focus on their direction itself for a satisfying length of time.

Truth. I like to identify myself as "project-oriented instead of schedule-oriented". We focus down on whatever we're working on, way down to the page margins and punctuation marks and whether every last corner is lined up. We just might forget about that PTA meeting we promised to bring cupcakes to.