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  1. #11
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fia View Post
    Ha sorry. I guess I didn't say enough. I meant to quote your post to imply agreement with you.
    Well, that says it all, imo





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  2. #12
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I have one INFJ friend who may be prone to dominating conversations, but of myself and the other two infj's I know, none of us do it. I think it has more to do with enneagram and other aspects of psychology? As the phenomenon isn't across the board for all infj's.
    And I would say its more like 'moderating conversations' than 'dominating' which doesnt quite convey the intent as well. It's something i ve seen infjs do but I believe I tend to see when people are trying to sheep herd me into 'safe zones of pasture' (its like a tug in my head), it either amuses me or annoys me if i explicitly tell them not to. If they keep at it I will give it some time then probably just break off contact as it's quite insulting/disrespectful. A diplomat's avoidant version of : '20 nos means yes'.
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  3. #13
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    ^No, my friend actually is a total chatterbox in situations where she knows the people. So she CAN dominate convos; it's a different thing from steering convo. [and she's definitely an infj]

    My point was just that mbti can only explain so much; there will always be outliers who don't fit the mold in one way or another.
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  4. #14
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    ^No, my friend actually is a total chatterbox in situations where she knows the people. So she CAN dominate convos; it's a different thing from steering convo. [and she's definitely an infj]

    My point was just that mbti can only explain so much; there will always be outliers who don't fit the mold in one way or another.
    I totally agree with all of this! People assume that if you're at all outspoken, you must be extroverted, and that's just not true. Both of my close friends happen to be extroverted, and compared to them, I'm a shut in. I also know a few introverted people and compared to them, I seem extroverted.
    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I have one INFJ friend who may be prone to dominating conversations, but of myself and the other two infj's I know, none of us do it. I think it has more to do with enneagram and other aspects of psychology? As the phenomenon isn't across the board for all infj's.
    Possibly, because when I first took the "test" I was INFJ, and while I can be outspoken now, I was extremely withdrawn and painfully shy as a child/young adult.

  5. #15
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    With people I don't know well I feel it's my obligation to keep conversations smooth and pleasant, so if someone is being left out I will most likely try to direct conversation their way. I don't do this with people I know well, except for when I sense a conflict arising, like when someone starts to get upset and the other person won't stop teasing, then I will try to change the subject and keep everyone happy.
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  6. #16
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    ^ Hehe, that's what I'm thinking. Don't let him get to you, INFJs. In fact, I find that INFJs often over police themselves in conversation and I sometimes wonder if they are truly enjoying the interaction while being so courteous towards others
    I have a hard time with this, which I think is why I like forums - stuff kind of just flows along in complete chunks.

    Usually in person other people are hogging the conversation, and I'd like to contribute something, but they never pause and I don't like to interrupt. Somebody might eventually notice I'm quiet and ask about it, but by that time I'm kind of zoned out with the whole thing and have nothing to say, or the thing I wanted to say became irrelevant an hour ago and I'd feel stupid bringing it up just to have my input.

    Also on top of this I had to overcome selective mutism from when I was younger.

  7. #17
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    ugh...soooo talkaative.

  8. #18
    ..... Intricate Mystic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swivelinglight View Post
    Why do they do this so much?

    It's a common characteristic of them that isn't discussed much for some reason. I find it quite obnoxious how disruptive they're in social situations and I wish they would just allow someone else to talk for once....
    Yeah, we're such social divas....always talking and have to be the center of attention.

  9. #19
    Member tommyc's Avatar
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    Yeah I can be a bit dominant socially, that's when I'm around a group I feel comfortable with. But I'm quite nice and try to make everyone feel good.
    When I'm around a group I don't connect with I can be really quiet, seemingly lacking in confidence, and feel inferior.
    So I either feel dominant or inferior depending on the group.

  10. #20
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    I feel it's my obligation to keep conversations smooth and pleasant
    I either feel dominant or inferior depending on the group
    That's me! Also, I'm very talkative in groups I know, but that's just because I'm excited about sharing my ideas and feelings with them, not because I want to be the center of attention. I want to hear their ideas, thoughts and feelings as well!

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