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Thread: Grass is Greener Syndrome

  1. #1
    i love Array skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne

    Default Grass is Greener Syndrome

    ie How Ne Creates Its Own Special Hell

    Strategies on confronting this, anyone?

  2. #2
    meinmeinmein! Array mmhmm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    ie How Ne Creates Its Own Special Hell

    Strategies on confronting this, anyone?
    in a romantic context?
    or in general?
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array UniqueMixture's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    378 sx/so


    Invert the wave functions to cancel them out/minimize them
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  4. #4
    yap yap yap Array xenaprincess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011


    There are all these other issues one doesn't see, when one's doing that sort of thing.

    Sure the grass is greener, but maybe it smells awful. But you don't smell it because the wind is blowing the other way.

    urban metaphor -
    I got a seat on the subway last night but then this guy got on the train and held onto the pole next to me. Holy cow, stink stunk stank. Pee-yoo.

    From a distance someone must have thought, oh, lucky gal! She got a seat on the subway! But the stink!!

    I had to get up and move.

  5. #5
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Array Cellmold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012


    Development of a well rounded secondary judging function.
    "An upsidedown wire heart
    Being sucked into a periscope
    Still the mind is dull
    Like you need another excuse"

    … a theory is primarily a form of insight, i.e. a way of looking
    at the world, and not a form of knowledge of how the world is….
    .. all our different ways of thinking are to be considered as
    different ways of looking at the one reality, each with some
    domain in which it is clear and adequate….
    - David Bohm

  6. #6
    Habitual Fi LineStepper Array JocktheMotie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008


    Well sure, any Ne user has been there. The hypotheticals are always so wonderful, every nascent idea, new thing, overflowing with this wonderful possibility. Ne doms and users are such optimists when it comes to these things.

    Just have to temper some of that excitement with some thorough thinking/feeling. That new job opportunity might have a catch or two, that guy over there who seems smart and interesting online might be some 30 year old jobless bum, that new house might have been a former meth lab/Nazi concentration camp, etc.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array Chiharu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    7w6 sx/so
    ENFp None


    I HATE this. Seriously, it's the best way to torture yourself for hours upon hours, thinking yourself into a frenzy
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  8. #8


    This is my approach. Not sure its the best...

    Explore all your options as far as you can without committing to them or destroying your chances elsewhere. Find out as much as possible about them. Try and see if they are achievable and weigh the pluses and minuses.

    In short, get more information to find out what 'reality' would be like, rather than imagining it. Beware if things look too good or resemble a perfect dream. Examine the negatives and see whether you can live with

    them Fi).Exhaust your Ne and then use Te.

  9. #9


    Or maybe a better way to say it is structure your Ne to serve a specific purpose rather than giving it free reign

  10. #10
    Diving into Ni-space Array Crescent Fresh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011


    I think it's part of NF's curse to suffer from this syndrome, even though there are slightly different approach for between Ne-dom and Ni-dom.

    What works for me is to unlearn GiGS by bringing myself back to the present. And I have two suggestions:

    1. Practice gratitude.

    Gratitude isn’t just a feeling, it’s a practice. When you’re feeling grateful, it’s because you’re noticing what you have in your life that you love, and that makes you feel loved. Most of us think that gratitude, happiness, peace and all the other wonderful things we want to feel just happen to us, but that’s not the case. Our feelings are always a result of our thoughts.

    You can get into the practice of creating gratitude by asking yourself questions that focus your awareness on what you love in your life. So ask yourself, “What are the things I wouldn't give away at this moment? What went well for me today? What makes me feel very blessed in the present?” And if you are feeling dissatisfied, ask yourself, "What's important to me now? What do I need to fix it? How do I already have that in my life in places where I haven't been noticing? And how can I bring more of that to my life now?"

    When you contemplate these questions and answer them honestly, you’ll experience authentic gratitude.

    Then try to write a few positive things by noticing the smallest gratitude in written format (I would suggest no more than 3). And the next day, add a few additional things on a separate list, along with the previous points. So that within a week, you'll have a pretty good list of things that you felt grateful and keep brining you back to the present.

    2. Practice mindfulness.

    I think sometimes we forget the whole point of happiness, and mindfulness is part of it. Essentially, it's being happy no matter where you are in the world, or what you're doing, or whom you're with. Being mindful quiets the mind and brings us a sense of peace that no other quest for a "perfect life" could ever bring.

    The way to achieve this is to balance our energy. Whenever you felt GiGS is hitting you hard, convince yourself through rationalization that our thoughts have feelings attached. Sometimes the feelings make sense. But many times, our feelings are out of sync with our thoughts. So whenever this happens, re-read the gratitude list you've created. This will help you to balance both spheres of 'contentment of present and exploring "what ifs" from the future. Remember you do not have to forcefully to pull away your Ne's optimism because that's part of your dominant function. Learn to embrace it by balancing both present and future's mindfulness as one single entity.

    This way, mindfulness helps you to appreciate life as it happens. It stops us from agonizing over what might've been or what could be. It just brings us back to the present.

    So next time, when you are looking for a different situation, look within yourself by shifting the focus of thoughts and feelings. Remember that happiness isn't having what you want, but it's about wanting what you have already. Since mind is a powerful thing and positivism is such a rare gift among Ne users, learn now to stay positive in the present so that you will become a magnet for the greener grass and you won't have to go "over there.' It will come to you eventually.

    Edit: When you practice mindfulness, try to breath very slowly and listen to your own heartbeats and breathing patterns as it can enhance the power of synergizing both energies as one.
    Last edited by Crescent Fresh; 09-11-2012 at 02:54 PM. Reason: Adding few points

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