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  1. #21
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    that guy over there who seems smart and interesting online might be some 30 year old jobless bum,
    *snickers*

    The most important thing to defeat the urge to run away into newness is to recognize it for what it is-escape. fun, wonderful escape, but still escape. I have developed the five day rule-if I still want to take the leap after five solid days of thinking over an issue, then I need to consider a real desire and not a fleeting escape path.

    Even then, the most important thing in the world is to speak about the issue to the other person (if a person is involved) and give them the chance to talk through the issue. Sometimes I find I am so hesitant to speak of what bothers me, that escape seems an easier path than confrontation.

  2. #22
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    I am plagued by these issues. They manifest themselves these days as the idolization of certain MBTI types due to the perceived possession of a certain skill or two which I believe myself to lack and subsequently covet. I imagine what I could be doing with myself and the possibilities of how my life could have turned out if I possessed slightly different preferences e.g. stronger thinking, more intuitive etc. whilst conveniently overlooking the issues of any shortfalls or problems which may plague said type which I do not experience or are unaffected by.

    It's an unfortunate issue. Especially as I have supposedly commited myself to stop desiring the lives of others and work on salvaging what I can from my own.

  3. #23
    Member Isis's Avatar
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    Gawwwwwd- relate to all of these- glad I'm not alone- but why do we torture ourselves. What gives?
    I found this extremely exacerbated after being on a regiment of anxiety meds. I think my higher level of serotonin loves the feel good and craves anything that keeps me at the feel good level. It sucks really!!
    Why can't we just be eternally happy with the choices we have made?

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Well sure, any Ne user has been there. The hypotheticals are always so wonderful, every nascent idea, new thing, overflowing with this wonderful possibility. Ne doms and users are such optimists when it comes to these things.

    Just have to temper some of that excitement with some thorough thinking/feeling. That new job opportunity might have a catch or two, that guy over there who seems smart and interesting online might be some 30 year old jobless bum, that new house might have been a former meth lab/Nazi concentration camp, etc.
    That's good for humor (from my side ) to some extend. I expect feedback AFTER the humorous thing though, usually I don't do just humor, I want feedback.

    But for personal things, not really. To take the examples: I don't care who the guy on the forums are, I wouldn't apply for a job I don't know much about in the first place. I wouldn't buy a house if I didn't know much about it already. Therefore, there wouldn't be a point thinking about things like that.

    Thinking like that about things like the ones in the examples, would be living hell for me.

  5. #25
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    My general thought on it is that no matter how green the grass is or where it came from, if you taste it it'll still taste just like grass.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

  6. #26
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    ie How Ne Creates Its Own Special Hell


    Strategies on confronting this, anyone?

    Nope sorry, still working on it. It dosn't affect my comittment so much, but the airy fairy..."oh wouldn't it be wonderful if..." idea's never go away.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  7. #27
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    ^ ditto. I never had a problem with commitment, only with regret.

    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    I am plagued by these issues. They manifest themselves these days as the idolization of certain MBTI types due to the perceived possession of a certain skill or two which I believe myself to lack and subsequently covet. I imagine what I could be doing with myself and the possibilities of how my life could have turned out if I possessed slightly different preferences e.g. stronger thinking, more intuitive etc. whilst conveniently overlooking the issues of any shortfalls or problems which may plague said type which I do not experience or are unaffected by.

    It's an unfortunate issue. Especially as I have supposedly commited myself to stop desiring the lives of others and work on salvaging what I can from my own.
    I lived this out for a while in regards to ENFJ. I was very envious... until my ENFJ friend had a series of setbacks and we grew apart a bit and I met another ENFJ and I began seeing the serious negatives that the type can entail.

    As far as I see it now, I'm committed to being a happy ENFP because even if I tried to be something else, I wouldn't be able to be happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    *snickers*

    The most important thing to defeat the urge to run away into newness is to recognize it for what it is-escape. fun, wonderful escape, but still escape. I have developed the five day rule-if I still want to take the leap after five solid days of thinking over an issue, then I need to consider a real desire and not a fleeting escape path.

    Even then, the most important thing in the world is to speak about the issue to the other person (if a person is involved) and give them the chance to talk through the issue. Sometimes I find I am so hesitant to speak of what bothers me, that escape seems an easier path than confrontation.
    Good ideas!

    One time I was antsy in my relationship and I worked up the courage to ask my boyfriend if he ever imagined dating other people (while we were together). He said yes. I was surprised. I asked him who and when and where and why. And we had a really interesting conversation. It was really comforting to be able to share that together, that we both felt that draw towards other options but chose to stay with each other anyway. It reinforced my confidence in our relationship tenfold. He said he was glad to be able to talk about it, too.

    It was also good to identify which aspects of those other options were causing us to feel drawn to them.

  8. #28
    Member Isis's Avatar
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    It can be really really tough.
    Seeing people less fortunate can help kick me in the arse.
    I'm in a tough grass-is-greener mode right now. And I don't like it. I really wish I would get over it already.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isis View Post
    It can be really really tough.
    Seeing people less fortunate can help kick me in the arse.
    I'm in a tough grass-is-greener mode right now. And I don't like it. I really wish I would get over it already.
    What is it you're desiring? Couldn't you try and perceive a specific trait in the object of your desire which you believe would make you less fortunate?

  10. #30
    Member Isis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    What is it you're desiring? Couldn't you try and perceive a specific trait in the object of your desire which you believe would make you less fortunate?
    I do try to do that- thank you. It seems to work temporarily but doesn't stick. ugggh
    You know that song sex and drugs and rock n roll? Well yeah- it's something like that. lol

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