User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 22

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ribonuke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    MBTI
    esTP
    Enneagram
    845 sp/so
    Socionics
    SLE Ti
    Posts
    257

    Default INFJ: Horrible Perfectionist Tendencies

    I've just realized I have some horrible, HORRIBLE unresolved perfectionist tendencies that are keeping me from getting the most out of my life.

    I can't focus on writing a paper. I can't muster up the courage to hit on someone I find attractive. Blah blah etc. All because I'm worried about not doing a good enough job.

    Why do I worry about not doing a good enough job? Because I feel like my parents and friends will be disappointed in me. And when I feel that others are disappointed in me, I literally feel pain. Like...literal PHYSICAL pain. And I end up just feeling sick, and I just can't survive that way.

    But I also can't really survive by rejecting every opportunity that comes my way! I need to figure out a happy medium so that I can do more things with my life than I have been...

    Any advice? ._.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    You need a prescription for Fukitol. Take two Fuckitol and just write the paper. Take another two and just talk to the girl. etc., repeat as needed.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Che Bloggs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    3

    Default

    ^LOL - it took me a second to get that!

    I'm very similar so I'm not sure I'm the right person to give advice but, because I can relate, maybe I can let you know how I try to deal with it.

    Is there anything that you can do consistently to the degree of perfection you desire?

    Having one thing that you are happy with makes it not so bad to deal with the failures that will inenvitably arise in other pursuits. Getting that one thing is no mean feat in and of itself but would probably help. Mine happened by accident and is a small thing but I have been complimented a lot on my handwriting. Nobody ever cannot read it and, though it goes sloppier when I'm feeling lazy and I often get an urge to rewrite notes because they're not perfect, by and large I'm happy with my writing. Content is another matter but my perfectionism has got an outlet. I also draw cartoons and can do some things exactly how I want them so when I feel that need for control and pefectionism, I can write something or draw something for a bit and it means that these tendencies don't slip into more important matters where they can have very negative effects.

    These worries do come up but I can generally just give something a shot and not worry too much about it being perfect because that side of me will have been satisfied in some other pursuit.

  4. #4
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    TIGR
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    5,936

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    You need a prescription for Fukitol. Take two Fuckitol and just write the paper. Take another two and just talk to the girl. etc., repeat as needed.

  5. #5
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    I can't figure out if I'm a perfectionist or not. Certainly not to the extent that some people I know are (both INFJ, and other types.) I do have huge problems with procrastination, though, and I wonder if that is related. It seems like the more important something is, the more I put it off and avoid taking the plunge. Then I get sick with worrying about why it's not done and how I will get it done... "Analysis paralysis" is one of my biggest problems, for sure. Everything seems bigger and worse inside my head than it actually is, or almost everything.
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  6. #6
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    You need a prescription for Fukitol. Take two Fuckitol and just write the paper. Take another two and just talk to the girl. etc., repeat as needed.
    I don't even know how much I would pay for a big bottle of that. Definitely a lot.

    Edit:

    A few things kind of work for me. Having a greater fear of the consequences of not acting than I do of the possible consequences of acting. Asking myself "What's the worst that can happen?" Usually the answer is not as bad as the nebulous anxiety. And, recently, telling myself that I don't have to panic yet, IOW "There is always time to panic later." Oh, and I try to cut myself the same slack I would anybody else. It's only fair.

    I hate disappointing people, too, but I suspect they already know I'm not perfect and will get over it if I screw up, especially if I'm obviously not being careless or malicious.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #7
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    4,128
    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  8. #8
    ISFJophile zelo1954's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    MBTI
    INfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp
    Socionics
    LII
    Posts
    218

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ribonuke View Post
    I've just realized I have some horrible, HORRIBLE unresolved perfectionist tendencies that are keeping me from getting the most out of my life.

    I can't focus on writing a paper. I can't muster up the courage to hit on someone I find attractive. Blah blah etc. All because I'm worried about not doing a good enough job.
    I understand this is a peripheral issue and not what you asked at all, but you sound more like an INFP to me than an INFJ.
    Cognitive functions:
    Fi (95%); Ti (90%); Ne (75%); Fe (60%); Ni (50%); Si (50%); Te (15%); Se (5%)

    "INFP values but INTP skills" describes me best of all

  9. #9
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ribonuke View Post
    I've just realized I have some horrible, HORRIBLE unresolved perfectionist tendencies that are keeping me from getting the most out of my life.

    I can't focus on writing a paper. I can't muster up the courage to hit on someone I find attractive. Blah blah etc. All because I'm worried about not doing a good enough job.

    Why do I worry about not doing a good enough job? Because I feel like my parents and friends will be disappointed in me. And when I feel that others are disappointed in me, I literally feel pain. Like...literal PHYSICAL pain. And I end up just feeling sick, and I just can't survive that way.

    But I also can't really survive by rejecting every opportunity that comes my way! I need to figure out a happy medium so that I can do more things with my life than I have been...

    Any advice? ._.
    I don't know what to say... realize that it's YOUR life and you can embrace it and do what you want with it? That if you disappoint people as a result of following who you are, then perhaps they weren't the types of relationships you ultimately wanted? Or if you don't disappoint, then you realize through the process that perhaps all along you were worrying about things that no one else was going to hold against you if you 'failed' at? So you learn via not being so perfectionist (may have to force it initially, esp. if it's an engrained habit) that there isn't a need to be perfectionist in the first place? That life will go on and you CAN do whatever you wish to in your life that you want to work towards? (within reason of course )

    I can't entirely relate... I'm wondering if this is more tied to enneagram? Or something else?
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  10. #10
    Senior Member Ribonuke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    MBTI
    esTP
    Enneagram
    845 sp/so
    Socionics
    SLE Ti
    Posts
    257

    Default

    Wow, thanks for the comments guys! ^^
    @zelo1954 I had trouble accepting I was an INFJ, so I explored INFP for a while. But it didn't seem to fit and the more I looked at INFJ, the more it made sense. What makes me come across as an INFP, tho? =o
    @cascadeco I think I took my enneagram and it was 4w5 or something, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were more 1w2 or or 2w1

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] Do unhealthy INFJs have a tendency towards this kind of behavior?
    By Grizzly On The Loose in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 04-10-2012, 10:29 AM
  2. [INTP] INTP with INFJ tendencies...Anybody else?
    By Phoenix_400 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 06-01-2010, 02:02 AM
  3. [INFJ] INFJ's horrible communication skills
    By ntgirl in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 02-11-2010, 08:22 PM
  4. [MBTItm] ESFP..with INFJ tendencies??
    By totallypsycho in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 08-29-2009, 10:19 AM
  5. Is it possible to be an INFJ with INTP tendencies?
    By aic in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 09-05-2008, 12:02 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO