[MBTI General] xxTPs...what is your friendship with NFPs like?

[Amargith]

Though Ive met many an STP, INTP, and yes..even an ENTP who I get on with and consider my friend, I wonder..Does friendship for you with an NFP require you to suspend your judgement of their values?

What I mean is, do you, for the sake of liking them and being their friend, 'accept' that they are, for lack of a better term, irrational/crazy according to your pov on the world? Is that part of them something you stash away coz you do not know what to do with it? Or does it actually contribute value in some way to your own pov of the world somehow?

In other words, is it like a mysterious black box you cannot access and just ignore its presence, or does it actually turn into a treasury chest at times?

And do you feel that your Ti is valued by them? Or do they approach your Ti with that same mystery black box effect and glance over it, in favour of just enjoying the friendship and not understanding what makes you tick?

For that matter...do you like the black-box effect they have on you (if that is the case)?


Curious minds want to know...

 

[WALMART]

NFP's intrigue me because of their constant ability to be 'in tune' with things.

I really wish I didn't have to leave, I just noticed the time. I'll write more very soon!

 

[Rasofy]

I wonder..Does friendship for you with an NFP require you to suspend your judgement of their values?

Not really. My NFP friends are willing to discuss values like equals, so that helps.

What I mean is, do you, for the sake of liking them and being their friend, 'accept' that they are, for lack of a better term, irrational/crazy according to your pov on the world?

They're idealists. I can't expect them to be NTs.

Most of them do have beliefs that I classify as illogical but, as long as they don't automatically think less of people who think differently, that's rarely relevant.

Is that part of them something you stash away coz you do not know what to do with it?

No. I accept it.

If they want my opinion about it, I'll say what I think and they should be able to handle it. I usually don't discuss religion with people that aren't either atheists or agnostics, because it can be a sensitive topic for them.

Or does it actually contribute value in some way to your own pov of the world somehow?

That happens as well.

In other words, is it like a mysterious black box you cannot access and just ignore its presence,

I don't ignore, I accept.

or does it actually turn into a treasury chest at times?

Yeah.
I've learned a lot with my NFP friends here. INFPs in particular seem to understand me quite well. They've given me invaluable advice during tricky situations involving people. They are my best advisers when it comes to feelings.

And do you feel that your Ti is valued by them? Or do they approach your Ti with that same mystery black box effect and glance over it, in favour of just enjoying the friendship and not understanding what makes you tick?

They seem to appreciate a more impersonal breakdown sometimes. Sometimes they'll reject the premises and conclusions, but they'll always give them some consideration.

For that matter...do you like the black-box effect they have on you (if that is the case)?

 

[Totenkindly]

Though Ive met many an STP, INTP, and yes..even an ENTP who I get on with and consider my friend, I wonder..Does friendship for you with an NFP require you to suspend your judgement of their values?

It depends on how strongly and in what situations they promote their values, and how "personal" it gets, and whether I'm expected to agree with them and on what basis.

I think the worst NFP relationships I had were when the NFP would come at me judging my behavior by their moral values and get mad at me if I didn't change. Needless to say, the friendships didn't last long and I didn't feel respected or that we had much of a connection point in that situation.

The best ones are where we both Ne around a lot, and work collaboratively in the relationship to enjoy each other's insight and spontaneity. There is a lot of goofiness and laughter in my best FP relationships, even while there's always a serious undercurrent we can drop into deeply.

What I mean is, do you, for the sake of liking them and being their friend, 'accept' that they are, for lack of a better term, irrational/crazy according to your pov on the world? Is that part of them something you stash away coz you do not know what to do with it? Or does it actually contribute value in some way to your own pov of the world somehow?

It depends on how strong it is and how much I feel like the value might derail our friendship. So my approach can range anywhere from just overlooking/stashing the value to the side to actually sitting and examining it and trying to see the world through their eyes. I do much much better with the latter when the value is expressed but not imposed on me by them... i.e., you're liable to get much further with me in just explaining why you feel the way you do (if you know why) or what your reasoning is, and then just trusting me to work through it and do my best to understand; arguing with me and trying to force me to accept the value is a bad thing. likewise, I try my best to just present how I reached a conclusion myself but won't try to make you accept my reasoning process; it would always be left to you, I just want you to understand where I'm coming from.

And do you feel that your Ti is valued by them? Or do they approach your Ti with that same mystery black box effect and glance over it, in favour of just enjoying the friendship and not understanding what makes you tick?

Typically the ones I am closer to tend to value my rationality, which is funny because to me it's just how I think about things and doesn't seem that spectacular to me. It's all just how I operate. But sometimes I've had them gush over what a big help I was or how much they admire my ability to detach and think through things, and I'll say thank you but be kind of confused because to me it didn't really seem to be a big deal / I was just being me.

For that matter...do you like the black-box effect they have on you (if that is the case)?

I like trying to sift through and understand the innards of the black box, as much as I can. It's kind of a mystery, and since I like to understand how things work, well, that's part of it. I'm also a bit jealous of the kind of intuitive creative leaps in wording and thinking I see in FPs, I feel kind of trapped in my own logic sometimes -- the thru-line has to be sharper and more exact, rather than fuzzier and bouncier, and sometimes my artistic bent seems a bit stilted because I can't break away easily from that.

 

[Poki]

My friendship with NFPs go really good. We have some misunderstandings sometimes, but nothing horrible. The misunderstandings dont seem to spiral off the deep end. They are fun and comfortable to chat with and play with. I honestly dont think I understand Fi very deep for the life of me. I dont seem to run into any value issues with them. They do seem to have to take a little while to trust me fully though as I am can extremely different and detached compared to an Fi male. Unlike others who say they are sensitive and highly emotional, I dont see that very much. They are very playful and fun.

We are alot alike, yet completely different at the same time. Our strengths and weaknesses are EXTREMELY different and they compliment each other. Its a very giving relationship, each giving in there own way.

All in all I wouldnt trade those friendships for the world.


edit:
I guess to answer the questions

Though Ive met many an STP, INTP, and yes..even an ENTP who I get on with and consider my friend, I wonder..Does friendship for you with an NFP require you to suspend your judgement of their values?
No

What I mean is, do you, for the sake of liking them and being their friend, 'accept' that they are, for lack of a better term, irrational/crazy according to your pov on the world? Is that part of them something you stash away coz you do not know what to do with it? Or does it actually contribute value in some way to your own pov of the world somehow?
They arent as irrational as people make them out to be. They do like to rationalize things. I enjoy the crazy though and the Ne nature of it.

In other words, is it like a mysterious black box you cannot access and just ignore its presence, or does it actually turn into a treasury chest at times?
Always a treasure chest

And do you feel that your Ti is valued by them? Or do they approach your Ti with that same mystery black box effect and glance over it, in favour of just enjoying the friendship and not understanding what makes you tick?
I feel my Ti is valued alot. I have been told that when I get to technical though I can spin them in circles with it. Its not focused on a goal, but more like a pro/con type of thing...basically seeing all aspects/angles.

For that matter...do you like the black-box effect they have on you (if that is the case)?
I like the overall affect, but not understanding requires some sort of trust which is not always a walk in the park for me. Certain things I can let go of control easily. One of my INFP friends always feels like she has to explain why and rationalize her decisions and I dont really care. If you want XYZ let me know and we can do it. If you want help doing it or figuring it out then explain why and we can look into what we can do to reach that better. I dont need them to justify themself. I am not here to criticize what they want or dont want. Some personal things I have a way of seeing and when they go against it its hard for me to trust. Alot of this is personal things and though I can believe its hard to trust long term...something I am working on though. They are usually well aware of the personal things, and can probably feel the trust as me ending up falling back to my old ways of seeing things...and alot of it is about myself and who I am.

 

[Totenkindly]

Unlike others who say they are sensitive and highly emotional, I dont see that very much. They are very playful and fun.

Yeah, I find them either the latter OR they are capable of going very deeply into something and not being scared of emotions, something I can't typically explore with some NTs. They're not intimidated by spirituality or moralistic thinking or exploration of feelings, and they go deep, and they can track my N easily and see where I'm going with my questions and logic....

 

[Poki]

Yeah, I find them either the latter OR they are capable of going very deeply into something and not being scared of emotions, something I can't typically explore with some NTs. They're not intimidated by spirituality or moralistic thinking or exploration of feelings, and they go deep, and they can track my N easily and see where I'm going with my questions and logic....

I dont think they track my Se very good at first and my intentions. Once they get to know me they usually trust my Se though. I guess there Ne/Si can take them down wild goose chase sometimes. They dont seem to flip out, they just seem to back away.

 

[mmhmm]

i asked my intp to answer this and he said they were garbage questions

 

[Amargith]

i asked my intp to answer this and he said they were garbage questions

Tell yer INTP to get his popcorn-eating ass off the couch and post for himself instead of sending others to do his lazy-ass arguing for him

 

[prplchknz]

I think the worst NFP relationships I had were when the NFP would come at me judging my behavior by their moral values and get mad at me if I didn't change. Needless to say, the friendships didn't last long and I didn't feel respected or that we had much of a connection point in that situation.

NFPs like this are the worst, I hate when other NFPs do this to me as well. because believe it or not not that anyone has said it but someone is probably think it (see i can be presumptious too) not all NFPs believe the same thing.

 

[StephMC]

It's been a long process for me to learn how to relate to NFPs without feeling like it's going to blow up in my face, though some NFPs are easier for me to find rapport with than others. Granted, over time, I've acknowledged that this is something I need to address, not the entire NFP population as a whole Anyways, I have noticed that the more expectations the relationship has, the more tension may exist. For instance, my ENFP sister kind of expects a lot out of me as her sister, and can be hurt pretty easily if I violate those expectations in a major way (from her perspective at least -- which is what makes it so hard for me. We value very different things). But I've had NFP friends in the past that I've been able to relate strongly with, and don't always worry I'm about upsetting them in some way. But when it comes down to it, I've accepted Ti can be rough around the edges, and hard for Fi to understand. It goes both ways, but Ti may come across as hurtful and Fi is really only just confusing to me. It's really just helped me work on my Fe (and Ni, when it comes to NFPs), so I feel pretty grateful to have all of those people in my life. It's never my intent to come across as cold or uncaring.

So depending on the person/situation/current relationship/mood, I may steer clear of the "mysterious black box" or it may turn into a treasure. It varies. I think it may be the same for them too. An example that involves my sister again: we had a falling out this previous year, and have been growing close again these past few months. But we've kept a lot of the conversations light, and avoid anything related to that falling out, or anything too involved. However, religion is really important to her and important for her to discuss and share with others. She's expressed she doesn't know how to relate or talk to me on the subject, and I can tell she feels a little disappointed I don't engage. Unfortunately, I'm not too keen on getting into something so personal with an NFP that I'm on thin ice with. To protect myself, and to protect our relationship.

I've always sensed they want to be close to me and understand what is (essentially) Ti, but they don't know how, and are afraid of getting their feelings hurt. At other times, they really appreciate the insight. A lot of them really like my Ti + Ni and try to tap into that often, though I feel more appreciated when they admire my Ti + Se.