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  1. #11
    Member CreativeCait's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    I bet the things you try to hide are secretly admired by others. I was shocked to discover that in my own life.
    Can you give an example of this??

    I've heard that book was good I should probably check it out, but the title is putting me off :p

  2. #12
    Member CreativeCait's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Oh, sorry, just carefully read the OP and realized you're specifically asking for female NFs who have to deal with filling a masculine role. I wish I could help.. maybe somebody else has experienced similar situations.
    No, you were helpful. That was exactly what I was after it helped me reconsider whether its a gender thing or a general conditioning thing.

    Awww, you did the thing my ENFP bestie does all the time. Answered the exact question I asked with a great answer. Then second -guessed yourself to make sure you were on the same page. Maybe its because you go Ne first and Fi second??

  3. #13
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CreativeCait View Post
    No, you were helpful. That was exactly what I was after it helped me reconsider whether its a gender thing or a general conditioning thing.

    Awww, you did the thing my ENFP bestie does all the time. Answered the exact question I asked with a great answer. Then second -guessed yourself to make sure you were on the same page. Maybe its because you go Ne first and Fi second??
    Ah, good, glad I could help. Yes, I guess you could say it was Ne, Fi. Or to be more detailed, I got the feeling of what you were saying and then spouted off. Then I remembered how often it is I get in trouble that way.

  4. #14
    Member CreativeCait's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    There is no should, or should not. There is just you.

    I don't try to hide it or anything, I just put the mushiness out there. We are all so complicated and multifaceted, there isn't much use worrying about your innate characteristics.
    This was very helpful. I can see that its important to be yourself and not worry about expectations, real or percieved, but I do struggle to achieve that. Just gotta keep working on thst I guess...

    Quote Originally Posted by stalemate View Post
    I'm realizing that I'm kind of struggling with the reverse a little bit in an odd way.

    There is a part of me that is worried about this because I'm afraid I will look more masculine than I feel, and that it will somehow change the way people interact with me and I will be thrust into some super masculine chest thumping world. Like my true personality won't be as well received if it comes in a physically stronger wrapping.
    I love juxtopositions and the very masculine man who seems one thing but when you get to know them, are a completely lovely, quiet, gentle person are one of my favourite kind to encounter and hang out with. Eg : covered in tattoos and vegan cos they love animals or just generally one of the kindest souls on earth or whatever.

    Some people might get confused but its probably not worth focusing on what their expectations of you might be. The ones who matter and make an effort to get to know you will always see who you are past your external qualities

  5. #15
    Member CreativeCait's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I got the feeling of what you were saying and then spouted off. Then I remembered how often it is I get in trouble that way.
    OMG, that's totally it And it's totally adorable Love ENFPs

  6. #16
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CreativeCait View Post
    I've heard that book was good I should probably check it out, but the title is putting me off :p
    It's a good book. "Sensitive" is just an adjective which can be both positive and negative. Don't let the common negative reading put you off from reading the book and identifying with being one
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  7. #17
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I think I dodged a bullet on this subject. ENFP males are supposed to have very big issues with gender expectations and expression, mine are only very small ones. I think it has to do with the fact that my father is INFP and was the nurturing one in my family. So, I never felt less male because I am NF. I grew up in a somewhat tough, inexpressive situation.. so for me expression is something that came later. Toughness and inexpressiveness was something I learned, but I never strongly linked it to gender.
    same with me actually...my dad was an enfp and way more expressive than my infj mom. not that she wasn't or isn't loving...she's just more of a cat instead of a dog like my dad...know what i mean? she's just...more reserved...less expressive yeah...it's all very much mentally communicated...we just know the depth of emotion there but don't discuss it much haha

    not that that would effect me as a woman...but i believe it has a lot to do with how i define masculinity...or gender roles in general...it was more common to see my mom do something like clean out the gutters than my dad

    also...my dad was bisexual...so there's that too i guess.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by CreativeCait View Post
    Can you give an example of this??

    I've heard that book was good I should probably check it out, but the title is putting me off :p
    Someone who is not afraid of big animals will be a leader during an expedition to the wilderness. Most people are afraid of their own emotions, so they gravitiate towards those who show ease with them.

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