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  1. #31
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    *Throws rose petals at the feet of the great Edahn*
    Thanks, that's a decent example of what I'm talking about. You did the same thing with Athenian about 3 weeks ago. Instead of addressing what the person says, you pretend like they're talking down to you and address the way you perceive the delivery (which in this case, is skewed) instead of its contents. You asked a question in this thread and I answered it, and now you're refusing to continue the conversation when it looks like you might get your feelings hurt in some way.

    Meh.

  2. #32
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Jen:

    If you start a thread like this, don't you think you open yourself up to negative responses? Can you really be frustrated, upset, offended, or any other word when people give you a true answer instead of backscratch?

  3. #33
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Thanks, that's a decent example of what I'm talking about. You did the same thing with Athenian about 3 weeks ago. Instead of addressing what the person says, you pretend like they're talking down to you and address the way you perceive the delivery (which in this case, is skewed) instead of its contents. You asked a question in this thread and I answered it, and now you're refusing to continue the conversation when it looks like you might get your feelings hurt in some way.

    Meh.
    I'm not sure how humor can be translated into me getting my feelings hurt. L4 is correct I do have thicker skin than your average NF of course I wasn't always that way, however living with an NT who is 100% T has helped tremendously. I asked if anyone here related to or identified with me, you basically don't so I've moved on.

    As for Athenian, she and I are fine and the conversation in that thread was hopeful until it was shutdown prematurely. In fact that thread likely brought us together in a way that might not have been possible otherwise.

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Jen:

    If you start a thread like this, don't you think you open yourself up to negative responses? Can you really be frustrated, upset, offended, or any other word when people give you a true answer instead of backscratch?
    Of course! And you'll just have to take my word for it when I say I am not frustrated, upset or offended.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  4. #34
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    ...Meh.
    And she swiped my smiley from the Puddin' without permission!
    (We lop off your head for that, sweetie.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #35
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    (We lop off your head for that, sweetie.)
    That could prove useful to you but of course you knew I would point that out.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  6. #36
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    The question to this thread, "Can you relate to or identify with me?" isn't like, "Does this forum make me look fat?" is it?

    NFJs don't typically take criticism well, and their immediate response will be to argue against it, even if it is only perceived, so a thread like this almost screams "Trap!" to me because it invites criticism.
    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    OMNi: Wisdom at the cost of Sanity.

  7. #37
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    I'm not sure how humor can be translated into me getting my feelings hurt. L4 is correct I do have thicker skin than your average NF of course I wasn't always that way, however living with an NT who is 100% T has helped tremendously. I asked if anyone here related to or identified with me, you basically don't so I've moved on.
    I said I did, and I don't really buy that your "humor" is pure humor; I think it's a pretext for passive-aggression.

    As for Athenian, she and I are fine and the conversation in that thread was hopeful until it was shutdown prematurely. In fact that thread likely brought us together in a way that might not have been possible otherwise.
    As for Athenian, the outcome of that exchange wasn't the point. The point was how you tend to take things personally and characterize people as if they're somehow talking down to you. (Your original reply, which is what I replied to, was less playful, and I'm guessing you realized that and changed your response.)

  8. #38
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    The question to this thread, "Can you relate to or identify with me?" isn't like, "Does this forum make me look fat?" is it?
    Depends on how you choose to view it. I've spent most of my life alone with my thoughts by choice because I felt different to everyone. I've had many acquaintances over the years but never any true friends which may be how I prefer it. The question in the OP was just that. Can you relate to me? If not and I'm not your cup of tea that's fine. I am not so fragile that I can't handle not being liked.

    NFJs don't typically take criticism well, and their immediate response will be to argue against it, even if it is only perceived, so a thread like this almost screams "Trap!" to me because it invites criticism.
    Constructive criticism is great as long as it comes from a the right place. It may not always feel great at the time, but imo can only better you as a person. Being spiteful is another story. To me that shows the bitterness within the person and is almost always obvious.

    The actual purpose of this thread was to see how many NF's I actual relate to on the forum. Do I feel a sort of kinship with INFJ's? I would probably say yes. There is one INFJ on this forum who really seems to get me and speaking to her is almost like speaking to another me which I find refreshing especially when most of the people I come into contact with on a daily basis seem idiotic to me.

    Here is an example: Last Friday I went to a class at the gym with a friend who I met years ago when our children were in preschool together. After class she started speaking with another women whose children also went to this same preschool (her daughter was in our daughters class). We established that we knew one another and finished our conversation said goodbye and went about our business. Several days later my friend and I went back to class and saw this woman again after class to which my friend says Jen, do you know so and so? wtf? I realize to you this may seems like no big deal but come on! Dense, ditsy, stupid or what??

    So you see I prefer to spend my time with people who don't irritate me. I've found a mate who I am very happy with, but I'm wondering why I can't find friends that live nearby who are complete fucking idiots which is why I enjoy posting on this forum. It has at least put me into contact with people who seem to understand me. As for the others well that's okay because this forum is big enough and I am certainly mature enough to accept the fact that we are all different.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  9. #39
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    I said I did, and I don't really buy that your "humor" is pure humor; I think it's a pretext for passive-aggression.



    As for Athenian, the outcome of that exchange wasn't the point. The point was how you tend to take things personally and characterize people as if they're somehow talking down to you. (Your original reply, which is what I replied to, was less playful, and I'm guessing you realized that and changed your response.)
    When you first joined you said I was a peace maker or something along those lines and while it's true that I will defend those I care for I am not the cheer leading happy bubbly person that some perceive me to be.

    I don't agree with your assessment of me and I don't think that by typing to one another that you can possibly know where I'm coming from. I can assume that you're a brat who craves attention but that really wouldn't be fair since I don't know you.

    Edit: I do get that you like to wind people up and that's alright, it's just not going to work on me My tone hasn't changed throughout this entire thread.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  10. #40
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    When you first joined you said I was a peace maker or something along those lines and while it's true that I will defend those I care for I am not the cheer leading happy bubbly person that some perceive me to be.
    If I did say something along those lines, then either I was wrong, or you've changed. (You've changed, man! You've changed!) I already gave you my new assessment: sometimes cynical and reflective, sometimes in search of people to mirror your energy and notice you.

    I don't agree with your assessment of me and I don't think that by typing to one another that you can possibly know where I'm coming from. I can assume that you're a brat who craves attention but that really wouldn't be fair since I don't know you.
    Unless people are grossly misrepresenting themselves online, I don't see why we can't understand each other by our words. Body language and tone are sacrificed, but there are still ways to pick up how a person is feelings by punctuation, avatar, signature, and of course, content.

    Edit: I do get that you like to wind people up and that's alright, it's just not going to work on me My tone hasn't changed throughout this entire thread.
    I'm not trying to wind you up. I'm just honestly answering the questions you've asked. Even if it did wind you up, that's not my goal.

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