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  1. #1
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Default INFJ and Ni doms, how do you make decisions?

    I've noticed that I tend to put off decision making, particularly with things that involve major life changes, purchases, travel plans etc. Even packing is something I put off until the very end because I dislike the decision making involved.

    However, it's not that I'm completely wafflingly indecisive. It seems to me that at some point (which I cannot predict when it will happen) things suddenly come into focus and I feel quite comfortable taking a course of action.

    I wondered if this is an individual thing, a Ni thing, or an INFJ thing. How can the process be expedited? What factors make you sure about making a decision?

    I notice that my ENFJ mother, ENFJ friend and ENFJ sister are not this way at all, so I'm not sure if it's connected with Ni or not. I know though for me recognizing Ni patterns, it's like my observations all come together at some point to provide an in focus picture of a particular situation, which then leads me to a course of action or opinion. That's what makes me wonder if this kind of procrastination is related to Ni.

  2. #2
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    That's interesting.. the way you put it, I could say the same for myself. It seems to me that it's extroversion that kicks me out of it (then again, that must be obvious). A sense of expediency or excitement coming from Se or a sense of responsibility or pity from Fe (admittedly, I reject the latter more often...sometimes it aggravates me).

  3. #3
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Yeah, knowing that my delay is affecting someone else negatively, or if there is a sense of urgency about it will help override the instinct towards putting off deciding.

  4. #4
    Mojibake sprinkles's Avatar
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    I can make decisions. Where I have trouble is with large plans and wholesale commitments.

    It seems like "stick to the plan!" are famous last words with me, because often something changes, or new information comes up, and I find out that the plan sucks.

  5. #5
    A_priori
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I've noticed that I tend to put off decision making, particularly with things that involve major life changes, purchases, travel plans etc. Even packing is something I put off until the very end because I dislike the decision making involved.

    However, it's not that I'm completely wafflingly indecisive. It seems to me that at some point (which I cannot predict when it will happen) things suddenly come into focus and I feel quite comfortable taking a course of action.

    I wondered if this is an individual thing, a Ni thing, or an INFJ thing. How can the process be expedited? What factors make you sure about making a decision?

    I notice that my ENFJ mother, ENFJ friend and ENFJ sister are not this way at all, so I'm not sure if it's connected with Ni or not. I know though for me recognizing Ni patterns, it's like my observations all come together at some point to provide an in focus picture of a particular situation, which then leads me to a course of action or opinion. That's what makes me wonder if this kind of procrastination is related to Ni.
    I can totally relate to what your saying. Decision making for me is very tough, I would say this is definitely indicative of NI as a primary. Although some decisions are easier made, in general I find decision making down right frustrating.

    Sometimes I will be driving somewhere and change directions to go somewhere else and then again!! "sometimes" lol.. If its a big decision involving things like career and lifestyle change, I procrastinate to no end. I just can't seem to justify which direction is best.

    Maybe it is partially to do with how we as INFJs cope with change or maybe it's because we see things from so many angles.. Whatever it is I can certainitly relate and share your frustrations!

  6. #6
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I've noticed that I tend to put off decision making, particularly with things that involve major life changes, purchases, travel plans etc. Even packing is something I put off until the very end because I dislike the decision making involved.

    However, it's not that I'm completely wafflingly indecisive. It seems to me that at some point (which I cannot predict when it will happen) things suddenly come into focus and I feel quite comfortable taking a course of action.

    I wondered if this is an individual thing, a Ni thing, or an INFJ thing. How can the process be expedited? What factors make you sure about making a decision?

    I notice that my ENFJ mother, ENFJ friend and ENFJ sister are not this way at all, so I'm not sure if it's connected with Ni or not. I know though for me recognizing Ni patterns, it's like my observations all come together at some point to provide an in focus picture of a particular situation, which then leads me to a course of action or opinion. That's what makes me wonder if this kind of procrastination is related to Ni.
    Im struggling immensely with making decisions at the moment, especially the important ones as you said.

    Yet I want them settled and done with. It's odd how much I relate to your post here.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  7. #7
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Yeah, I don't think it's laziness, not wanting closure or indecisiveness. It's more that I seem to be unsure of how many facts there are out there to gather or what amount of facts will suddenly tip the scales towards a particular decision. I'm seeing that often when I am not getting something done that should be, I am still gathering some sort of information rather than just putting things off. I feel much better once a decision is actually made and I don't really like being in limbo.

  8. #8
    Riva
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    ExxJs obviously have higher levels of stress. Probably the reason they are inclined to make-decisions and act on them more urgently than othersm irrespective of it being the perfect decision or the one they feel it to the the correct one.

    Ni doms don't entirely really make decisions. It comes to them. But it doesn't come to them if the don't have enough information (Se) or if they believe they believe (unconsciously) that they have enough information.

    My understanding it is.

  9. #9
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i've noticed i have a really terribly structured decision-process that often shows an absence of design.

    my meanings, as a 5 are also less generally grounded and immediately useful, so the process ends up being rather arduous and frustratingly unconstrained.

    i think one technique for implementing Ti is really focusing on time scales. how would i feel about this decision in 30 minutes. tomorrow. 30 days from now. recognizing confidence levels based on different time intervals really helps get rid of extraneous variables and helps you imagine the story context so you are not just dealing with abstract meanings. because Ti is what helps us simulate what is likely to happen, to build episodes, to experience a story episodically. it requires a kind of metallic rigidity to push through the details and see what plays out without being drawn into your whims and emotional contexts. it's a really useful way for letting places help organize what needs to happen. sometimes it, the decision, can just become far more self-evident then.

  10. #10
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Takes me a while to act upon major decisions too. I'll end up waiting for things to be just right before acting on it, to see if the signs converge with each other. It's like I get a gut feeling that a specific outcome will arise from doing A,B,C, or witnessing what's before me indicates that A, B, or C will happen. But I'm hesitant to pull the trigger until I have certainty that my gut impressions are indeed true.

    But when it comes to major decisions that impact others, I tend to procrastinate with it. It's a bad habit of mine. I usually don't speak up about it until the last minute. I don't want to cause a rift with others around me, so I end up mulling it over in my head until I absolutely can't take it anymore and then I speak up. Heck, this even goes for making decisions on where to go do things. I have an idea of what I want, but I'm not going to present my ideas until I know they will be accepted by the group, so I tend to wait until everyone has spoken their ideas and if their idea goes along with mine, then I'll speak up.

    It's like I put things off because I end up fearing negative repercussions from my decisions or others around me. That, and being very private about my own inner visions in general. I don't share them unless I know everything's alright. It's weird.... and it drives some people crazy about how I put off these things. I think getting lost inside my head about the vision of the future after making said decision also doesn't help things much either. Takes a bit, but eventually I end up making a decision and press forward.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




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